I'm writing this from my phone. (Tl;dr at end)

Things have been really intense for me lately. Work has been cutting hours because a new hire we got is available 24/7 and they rather give her hours than me but I'm only in this state for another 4 months so its hard to get anywhere else to hire me right now. I've been having issues medically, namely hypoglycemia for a reason my doctor can't give me. I gave her valid concerns of PCOS but all my testing came back negative for everything. My only abnormal test was that my circulating insulin was double the max range it should ne in humans. Which explains my random blood sugar crashes where I pass out when I get dangerously low. In relevance to medical concerns my mother was diagnosed a week and a half ago with a skin cancer. Shes tough as nails hut I know this scares her a lot. It scares me a lot, not only for my mother but also for myself in the future eith genetics now that three women in my immediate family have had 3 differenr types of cancer (leukemia, breast, and now skin). On top of all this I've been having some hard times with school, we're going into the final stretch where this is the hardest two terms. This is literally the make or break of the school and I feel the weight of it crushing me down now that we're getting to the hard stuff. (If you guys don't know I'm currently enrolled in a full time accelerated Veterinary Technician school where I'm taking nothing but 4-8 week classes, and we get our associates in 18 months)

In addition to this my old faithful computer has finally fully died on me. We had her for about 7 years and while she had some issues as you'd figure with any PC she was still very reliable due to future proofing done during her building and also with some new parts just to keep up to date. She was sorta my only escape and only real way to bond with Ziah and friends due to the distance, so this has hit me very hard. The school took every dime I had just to come down here, so I currently can't afford a new computer.

I'm not looking for advice. Shes already dead and ripped apart shes completely done for at this point, but I'll let you guys k ow what happened.

Over the past two months Penelope (her name) had little to no issues, she randomly crashed twice out of the blue for the first time in years about two months ago about a week and a half apart. Then nothing for a while. Yesterday I was attempting to load into a game with my husband and a friend and when I did the whole computer just crashed. Everything was black, no signal, horrible buzzing sound. I force restarted her, she loaded up like everything was fine. I loaded in again, same thing happened. Rinse repeat once more. I gave up for the night, figured she was just overheating since my dorm has been a little hotter than normal and some of my shorts are stored on hangers above her (with a clearance it's just a dorm, not much I can do about space). I let her sit, went to school. Logged on and tried again because I worry too much. Loaded into a game and within seconds the same thing happened. She wasnt hot so I was worried. Tried again, and again, amd again. I did some tips I had gotten online. Went out and even bought new stuff to clean the case out inside even thought I did it a few weeks back already. She was pretty much still spotless inside but I cleaned her anyway. I reorganized my room so she had full clearance all the way around. I pit her all back together, tried again and she died again. I plugged her in and went to run a diagnostic on her and thats when she just died. Flat out just died. No power, wouldnt turn back on. Nothing. So I popped her open, looked inside and restarted from a button inside which shocked me because there were suddenly sparks, some left over dust caught on fire (cos I'm not perfect), and smoke poured out. So I turned off all power, pulled out the cable and fanned her out. I spent a while with my amazing husband who puts up with way more from me than he should; taking her completely apart and seeing just what happened. Part way through I had a breakdown from everything in life just piling up on me. I just started sobbing quietly and trying to mush it all down so Ziah wouldn't hear it but my voice cracked mid sentence and when he asked me if I was okay I just lost it. I finished taking her apsrt a sobbing mess and then laid down in bed. We talked for a little bit but I wanted him to go to bed because he has work in the morning. I dont want him tired. I'm sure some aspects of her are salvagable but I'm not sure what is vs isnt and instead of just playing/paying a guessing game it would be more beneficial for me to save up for a new pc. I pulled my harddrive out, it should be compleyely fine I hope. The fire was on the opposite end of the pc and didnt get anywhere near the actual drive. I don't believe it's damaged but time will tell. Commissioners will be recieving notes about plans to move foreward since this was out of my control.


Tl;dr: As an update: School is getting very very hard, Mom was diagnosed with skin cancer in the past 2 weeks, my hypoglycemia is not being treated because we dont know whats causing it, my computer completely died, I sobbed like a bitch while trying to maintain bad bitch hours.

Want to help?
-I'll be reluctantly accepting donations to my paypal Rather_Be_Raving[at]yahoo.com in hopes to replace Penelope as fast as reasonably possible so I can do my schoolwork from home, stay connected with my husband, and friends, and be able to unwind when needed as well as obviously work on art. Anything helps and a little goes a long way
-Spread the word if you can't donate. It would help me greatly.