Good morrow to you, you sultry sexpot clad in today's most sensually dumpster-chic rubbish-bin fashion!

So... at this moment I am staring upward in abashed confusion, looking at the ceiling of my kitchen, standing next to an angry. fire-engine red bucket which is slowly, teasingly, filling with water. This water is dripping into my kitchen through the ceiling by way of the light fixture. Yes. You read that correctly. Water... is coming down... from the fluorescent (spelled it right on the third try!) light fixture... on the ceiling.

I am currently living in a modernized re-make of the 3 Stooges short "A-Plumbing We Will Go"...

If you got that reference, you are at least a little bit more awesome than you think you are. High fives. *fist bumps*

Sorry to disappoint if you thought this was going to be about Talk Like A Pirate Day™. Nope. Ave.