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Recovery
6 years ago
Hello everyone,
I've been meaning to write something here for some time, but this past year has been absolutely full of stress and I kept waiting to stabilise before I talked about what has been going on.
It's felt like there have been several disasters during the past year. My mum passing away so suddenly has completely changed my life. It is almost a year since she died and I still feel so confused, lost and some days the pain is so raw. Time is a healer, but I think the grief changes over time and takes different forms; the stress on me emotionally and physically has shown in different ways. I miss her so much and it is very hard to carry the grief of my dad and siblings too. There have been a couple of serious family dramas as well, which have the potential to really change my life.
I am naturally very empathetic and I tend to put everyone else before myself a lot of the time, so I think at some point recently I broke. I was signed off work a couple of weeks ago due to stress and worsening depression. It is unlike me to let my mental health get in the way of my job, but it got to a point where I was really struggling and couldn't face going a lot of the time. My job is extremely stressful and it takes a lot of passion and diligence, being that patient care is ultimately affected by what I do. My company is currently going through being acquired by a huge American company and there have been a lot of disruptions, big promises forced on us to at short notice where we are expected to deliver against ridiculous targets... and all in all, I think it pushed me too far, considering what has been going on in my personal life.
During my time off work, my beloved rabbit suddenly passed away with no warning signs which has really affected me. She was only 3 years old and we had a very, very close bond. I am devastated and really had to think about whether I wanted to have another rabbit, especially since winter is fast approaching, but after time alone I realised I missed the company and felt incomplete. I took my time making the decision and looking at different options. Ideally I would have liked to adopt a rabbit from a rescue as I believe in doing that, but it would be very hard for me to fit the criteria that the rescues set out for re-homing as I rent a house. Unfortunately it wasn't going to work out for me to take on a rescue bunny, so I ended up finding a young bunny from a pet store which uses ethical breeders. She has been handled and cared for very well by the staff and as a result is a very well adjusted and gentle rabbit.
So, here I am with a young rabbit settling into her new home. She doesn't have a name yet (I always spend a while deciding). She is extremely friendly and very laid back, already very confident and wanting to explore everything. I am very pleased, but I do miss my previous rabbit very much. I hope that I just need time to process losing her and things will settle down. The love of another bunny will probably help me to get over the loss.
On top of the things above, I developed a very worrying health issue about a month and a half ago. I suddenly developed diplopia (double vision). I went to an optician and got checked out, everything was very healthy with my eyes and surrounding tissues. I did a sight test to update my prescription, as it had changed a little, and they sent me on my way. The diplopia worsened and I immediately went to a doctor who referred me to a hospital. I have had several appointments over the past few weeks, a few blood tests that came back clear and MRI scans of my brain and eyes/nerves that showed no tumours or abnormalities. I was initially diagnosed with Sixth Nerve Palsy on the right side of my face, so my right eye was not moving normally which was preventing it form focusing with my left eye. However, a follow up yesterday highlighted that both eyes are now affected and the issue has worsened in both eyes. This is happening over a short period of time and I am worried that the longer we are not treating it the more damage may be done.
The hospital has exhausted all testing and have run out of ideas. I am now being referred to another hospital where apparently they specialise even more in double vision and similar problems. I hope that someone can get to the bottom of this as it is actually concerning me a lot. The strain on my eyes is causing constant migraines (I have spent the last 2 weeks with the same migraine now...) and the fatigue has been unreal.
Soooo. All in all, life has been pretty difficult recently and I feel like I am due some good luck by now!
I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for taking time to read this.
~ Lily
I've been meaning to write something here for some time, but this past year has been absolutely full of stress and I kept waiting to stabilise before I talked about what has been going on.
It's felt like there have been several disasters during the past year. My mum passing away so suddenly has completely changed my life. It is almost a year since she died and I still feel so confused, lost and some days the pain is so raw. Time is a healer, but I think the grief changes over time and takes different forms; the stress on me emotionally and physically has shown in different ways. I miss her so much and it is very hard to carry the grief of my dad and siblings too. There have been a couple of serious family dramas as well, which have the potential to really change my life.
I am naturally very empathetic and I tend to put everyone else before myself a lot of the time, so I think at some point recently I broke. I was signed off work a couple of weeks ago due to stress and worsening depression. It is unlike me to let my mental health get in the way of my job, but it got to a point where I was really struggling and couldn't face going a lot of the time. My job is extremely stressful and it takes a lot of passion and diligence, being that patient care is ultimately affected by what I do. My company is currently going through being acquired by a huge American company and there have been a lot of disruptions, big promises forced on us to at short notice where we are expected to deliver against ridiculous targets... and all in all, I think it pushed me too far, considering what has been going on in my personal life.
During my time off work, my beloved rabbit suddenly passed away with no warning signs which has really affected me. She was only 3 years old and we had a very, very close bond. I am devastated and really had to think about whether I wanted to have another rabbit, especially since winter is fast approaching, but after time alone I realised I missed the company and felt incomplete. I took my time making the decision and looking at different options. Ideally I would have liked to adopt a rabbit from a rescue as I believe in doing that, but it would be very hard for me to fit the criteria that the rescues set out for re-homing as I rent a house. Unfortunately it wasn't going to work out for me to take on a rescue bunny, so I ended up finding a young bunny from a pet store which uses ethical breeders. She has been handled and cared for very well by the staff and as a result is a very well adjusted and gentle rabbit.
So, here I am with a young rabbit settling into her new home. She doesn't have a name yet (I always spend a while deciding). She is extremely friendly and very laid back, already very confident and wanting to explore everything. I am very pleased, but I do miss my previous rabbit very much. I hope that I just need time to process losing her and things will settle down. The love of another bunny will probably help me to get over the loss.
On top of the things above, I developed a very worrying health issue about a month and a half ago. I suddenly developed diplopia (double vision). I went to an optician and got checked out, everything was very healthy with my eyes and surrounding tissues. I did a sight test to update my prescription, as it had changed a little, and they sent me on my way. The diplopia worsened and I immediately went to a doctor who referred me to a hospital. I have had several appointments over the past few weeks, a few blood tests that came back clear and MRI scans of my brain and eyes/nerves that showed no tumours or abnormalities. I was initially diagnosed with Sixth Nerve Palsy on the right side of my face, so my right eye was not moving normally which was preventing it form focusing with my left eye. However, a follow up yesterday highlighted that both eyes are now affected and the issue has worsened in both eyes. This is happening over a short period of time and I am worried that the longer we are not treating it the more damage may be done.
The hospital has exhausted all testing and have run out of ideas. I am now being referred to another hospital where apparently they specialise even more in double vision and similar problems. I hope that someone can get to the bottom of this as it is actually concerning me a lot. The strain on my eyes is causing constant migraines (I have spent the last 2 weeks with the same migraine now...) and the fatigue has been unreal.
Soooo. All in all, life has been pretty difficult recently and I feel like I am due some good luck by now!
I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for taking time to read this.
~ Lily
I hope you get the treatment you need soon and start feeling better
Fingers crossed for them finding a solution for the vision issue. All the hopes that things do improve for you.
Several times recently I've thought about you and wondered how you're doing, since you've been so absent for so long. Thank you for the update. Always remember you have friends who love you
Just please be well and fight on.
I know that your migraines are different from mine, but maybe a tinted lens can help alleviate some of the strain? I usually wear the dark lenses, but have found that amber-ish works as well. It might take some of the strain away, and hopefully lessen some of the burden your eyes are dealing with.
Stay strong hun, we're all here for you. *hugs*
A new bunny is always <3
Gotta enjoy the cute little fluffy things in life. =v=
I'm really sorry to hear about your Mom, rabbit, and just the universe being a shit >< I understand how bad eye issues can be. Are there any patterns? Or things that set it off? Like going from looking at a screen to something else? Little details can sometimes help the doctors. Miss you and wishing you well.