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I’m done with this
6 years ago
I’m not sure if people remember what happened between me and another artist in the past. This was posted on twitter originally.
I don’t know where to start. For so long as I can remember I’ve been having a trust issue for years. What happened 10 years ago with a certain individual has had an affect on me and I want answers. Curiosity can kill someone to a point they will do something drastic. It all started when I was friends with this individual who I knew for a wile. We may of not had a lot in common but we were friendly to each other for me to like her. Acted friendly to me as to say your a good friend. We even got to meet in person.
After a wile we kind of stoped talking as I was going through college. At some point about 10 years ago I saw her on Furaffinity and thought I haven’t seen her in a wile so I should say hi. I did. All I said was hello haven’t seen you in a long time. What’s up? I don’t know what the response was 100% but it was in the line of I don’t need you anymore. I was using you. You are nothing. I responded asking so I was just a stick in the sand. She said yes. This didn’t go well with me and I responded with a word I rather not say. She laughed it off. That’s not the end. She posted the private conversation we had on her front page to embarrass me more for all to see. This was the final nail in the coffin. I didn’t know what to do anymore. Ever since that day I lost my trust with everyone I knew.
she even left a comment on one of my pictures I drew if I remembered was “no one will live you. Your going to be alone forever.” Rage fueled through my blood stream. I was furious to a point where I made a second account to talk with her as she just said lol mad. Yes. Yes I was mad. Fortunately I had friends to calm me down which helped a lot. After a wile I tried to talk to her which she immediately blocked me. After that I didn’t feel ok. Luckily I had friends to help me forget but after many years I was getting paranoid. I was afraid of people betraying me to a point where I wouldn’t talk to anyone. Then at the beginning of this year I ran into her on twitter. I didn’t know What to do so I tried to be friendly as a way to see maybe things have changed. I wish I was more clearer to her.
But this came off as just random gibberish to me saying I wanted to see if we can try to be friends again. I don’t know what I was thinking. So much going through my mind like running into her triggered all the rage and depression I felt years ago. She says she’s a changed person and thinks I’m trying to be friends with her because she’s a good artist and now looks at me like I’m an immature maniac and proceeded to block me from all 3 of her accounts. Now we’re here. No answered for the questions I’ve given her. Unable to remove and destroy a past mistake I’ve made. My mental state is almost at its peak of doing something drastic. I don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s not easy forgetting something that affected you.
I know what your thinking ( if anyone even reads this) why are you bothering with something that happens years ago and what does this one little event has to do with her? Through out my life I’ve been the target of bullies as long as I can remember. When I met her she was kind. I looked at her as a good friend but when she said she doesn’t need me anymore or was using me that broke me and was the final nail in the coffin. She destroyed my trust with everyone and made me think everyone is agents me. So just move on? I’ve been trying but the memories are like etched in my head. I’m a very emotional guy when it comes to friendships. I’m at my low point in it as many of my friends moved away or too busy with real life situation.There real life business is non of mine.
Mental Illness is a serious condition to have and it seems she doesn’t get it. Like I don’t care what she does now and it’s none of my business but all I want from her are answers to why. So what does this have to do with us? Nothing. You are not part of it. Don’t be a part of it. This should be between only her and me. So why are you telling us this? It’s been almost more then 10 years and nothing has changed. I want this to end and I wanted to get this off my chest. I want it to end in a way that makes us both satisfied.
An end to this long pain I had. She may not have the same pain as I have. I don’t know what pain she feels or if she has any. I do not know. All I know is was no answers. Are you gaslighting? No I’m not but since I deleted the evidence long time ago it made me wish I didn’t. Now people with think I’m gaslighting her for attention. I’m not looking for attention. I rather have people recognize that I exist in this world as a human then a punching bag for you to take your anger on. Like I said I don’t want to rope people into this.
So in the end I don’t know where to go anymore. This is t a cry for attention. This isn’t a cry for help. This is a depressed man expressing a problem he wanted to get off his chest. I apologize if this is going on for too long but that’s what’s happening to me. I don’t want to say who this person is as I don’t want to draw more attention to her even though she blocked me. But if you know who I’m talking about, then congrats. This is not about art or fame and popularity, This is about actions.
Thank you.
If you were able to read all this congrats. Life is shit.
I don’t know where to start. For so long as I can remember I’ve been having a trust issue for years. What happened 10 years ago with a certain individual has had an affect on me and I want answers. Curiosity can kill someone to a point they will do something drastic. It all started when I was friends with this individual who I knew for a wile. We may of not had a lot in common but we were friendly to each other for me to like her. Acted friendly to me as to say your a good friend. We even got to meet in person.
After a wile we kind of stoped talking as I was going through college. At some point about 10 years ago I saw her on Furaffinity and thought I haven’t seen her in a wile so I should say hi. I did. All I said was hello haven’t seen you in a long time. What’s up? I don’t know what the response was 100% but it was in the line of I don’t need you anymore. I was using you. You are nothing. I responded asking so I was just a stick in the sand. She said yes. This didn’t go well with me and I responded with a word I rather not say. She laughed it off. That’s not the end. She posted the private conversation we had on her front page to embarrass me more for all to see. This was the final nail in the coffin. I didn’t know what to do anymore. Ever since that day I lost my trust with everyone I knew.
she even left a comment on one of my pictures I drew if I remembered was “no one will live you. Your going to be alone forever.” Rage fueled through my blood stream. I was furious to a point where I made a second account to talk with her as she just said lol mad. Yes. Yes I was mad. Fortunately I had friends to calm me down which helped a lot. After a wile I tried to talk to her which she immediately blocked me. After that I didn’t feel ok. Luckily I had friends to help me forget but after many years I was getting paranoid. I was afraid of people betraying me to a point where I wouldn’t talk to anyone. Then at the beginning of this year I ran into her on twitter. I didn’t know What to do so I tried to be friendly as a way to see maybe things have changed. I wish I was more clearer to her.
But this came off as just random gibberish to me saying I wanted to see if we can try to be friends again. I don’t know what I was thinking. So much going through my mind like running into her triggered all the rage and depression I felt years ago. She says she’s a changed person and thinks I’m trying to be friends with her because she’s a good artist and now looks at me like I’m an immature maniac and proceeded to block me from all 3 of her accounts. Now we’re here. No answered for the questions I’ve given her. Unable to remove and destroy a past mistake I’ve made. My mental state is almost at its peak of doing something drastic. I don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s not easy forgetting something that affected you.
I know what your thinking ( if anyone even reads this) why are you bothering with something that happens years ago and what does this one little event has to do with her? Through out my life I’ve been the target of bullies as long as I can remember. When I met her she was kind. I looked at her as a good friend but when she said she doesn’t need me anymore or was using me that broke me and was the final nail in the coffin. She destroyed my trust with everyone and made me think everyone is agents me. So just move on? I’ve been trying but the memories are like etched in my head. I’m a very emotional guy when it comes to friendships. I’m at my low point in it as many of my friends moved away or too busy with real life situation.There real life business is non of mine.
Mental Illness is a serious condition to have and it seems she doesn’t get it. Like I don’t care what she does now and it’s none of my business but all I want from her are answers to why. So what does this have to do with us? Nothing. You are not part of it. Don’t be a part of it. This should be between only her and me. So why are you telling us this? It’s been almost more then 10 years and nothing has changed. I want this to end and I wanted to get this off my chest. I want it to end in a way that makes us both satisfied.
An end to this long pain I had. She may not have the same pain as I have. I don’t know what pain she feels or if she has any. I do not know. All I know is was no answers. Are you gaslighting? No I’m not but since I deleted the evidence long time ago it made me wish I didn’t. Now people with think I’m gaslighting her for attention. I’m not looking for attention. I rather have people recognize that I exist in this world as a human then a punching bag for you to take your anger on. Like I said I don’t want to rope people into this.
So in the end I don’t know where to go anymore. This is t a cry for attention. This isn’t a cry for help. This is a depressed man expressing a problem he wanted to get off his chest. I apologize if this is going on for too long but that’s what’s happening to me. I don’t want to say who this person is as I don’t want to draw more attention to her even though she blocked me. But if you know who I’m talking about, then congrats. This is not about art or fame and popularity, This is about actions.
Thank you.
If you were able to read all this congrats. Life is shit.
