Sometimes I forget to write things but sometimes I feel they are not too interested to be read on, but oh well. I've been doing quite better, just living out life. And deciding what would be good for myself. There are days I don't really want to do anything but stay in bed, but I hate feeling like that so I push myself up to do things, but I've been doing them in automatic. I wish I was more constant with drawing things. In other words, I am my worst enemy in this moment... And no one is going to help me with that if I don't do it myself. But at the same time I feel is so pointless...Keep up despite everything...keep up despite I feel like shit...

I don't even know anymore if I actually do it for myself or because I have to. I feel trapped. I feel bad all the time. Is getting harder pretend everyhing is O K. I just don't want to worry anyone. This is so pathetic, Im sorry.