I'm still here! Live has just been a little different the last couple years. Some fairly heavy happenstances did occur that made things change a bit, but only indirectly at me, and I've not been sure how to feel about it all. Life has been full of distractions lately, many MANY distractions and internal struggles, I guess the best way to put it. I've been unusually introspectively lately, but I'm not sure what part of myself I'm actually trying to look at here. Frankly, I'm satisfied, I have nice roommates, I have most of the things I want. I've come to terms with some of the mistakes I've made in the past. I thought I wanted a relationship, but I don't think I do now. It was nice to dream about, but I think it was all for the wrong reasons, and I ended up hurting a few people over it. I realized that I need and prefer shorter contact, and want friendship more than anything else, neither of which I think I'm entirely great at, especially right now, but anyways, I'll just... make a list here:

So in this order, found out my Mom was completely rejected by my sister as family after she was forced to kick my sister out for not paying rent and destroying her house...

Then roommate fucked his leg up and was out of work for 10 months. I had to help with many things. Wheelchair him around. Take him to appointments for a small portion of that time, in the middle of winter... and I would do it again! Love you bud! <3

Other roommate/co-worker convinced me to "smoke" which made things more... interesting to say the least... That's all totally "fair and dandy" here now though so it's okay! ;p

Our basement flooded in April, that was a bitch to help clean up, and it happened right as I was about to go to bed before a long day of work. xD

My car insurance doubled because my previous insurer canceled my contract with them without warning, and by the time I found out, every insurer was like, oh you've been without insurance for 3+ months?! Well, seeing as how you have literally no tickets or accidents on the entirety of your 14 year driving record, clearly you are a delinquent and must be charged 4x the price.... x.x;

Broke a tooth and had a total computer crash in May. I lost my shit when my computer broke, I've never been more infuriated at fucking piece of software than I ever have been and ever probably will be again, windows updates has fucked my computer on so many occasions, and I'm usually good at resetting and fixing the updates, but it just would not have it this time and I couldn't get into my computer. :C Needless to say, windows updates no longer exists on my computer. I'll be manually checking/updating my computer from now on, because I'm tired of microsoft's bullshit. I know every computer is different, but for gods sake make some kind of timeout or skip operation. Literally nothing was wrong with the computer, I checked, it just wouldn't un-hang itself from that process no matter what I tried. :/


(Edit, I remembered another thing, my car broke down too!) xD

Found out my Mom has bone cancer... still not sure what to think about that...

And, there's actually more in there too I'm sure. I've actually made this list in conversations at work a few times now, and I always forget something, but yeah, things have been exceptionally heavy lately, yet somehow oddly I feel like I'm drifting away. If you don't catch me, I might blow away forever! But nah, I'm still here, I've just fallen off the bandwagon and maybe lost a little interest in maintaining my page as of lately, but rest assured, there ARE definitely still things happening in the background. I have and am still getting things I do inevitably intend to post, it's just not been a priority at all lately, and I guess that might be the main thing I'd have to say about all this. Basically, re-prioritizing with a little bit of self discovery involved. I'm okay, but I do get worried sometimes that I'm pulling apart from others a little, but then wondering why that's necessarily a problem in the first place... that sort of thing, but I'm more or less the same, just the order is a little different now, and honestly everything is still good. I could stand to get a slightly better job and maybe be a bit better at socializing, but that's honestly all that's really on my plate currently, everything else has more or less passed, but I'm not really looking forward to winter again. ><