So Wolfe and I were hanging out at the mall and some dipshit punk teenagers who thought they were tough badasses because there were 4 of them, started talkin' shit and fuckin' with other mall patrons. The ringleader started eyeballin' Wolfe and I. Wolfe couldn't give a shit one way or the other. I was ready to bust the little fuck nuts skull clean open and play hackey sack with his brain. As I'm sure it was probably of sufficient size (or smaller).

Wolfe tells me to ignore them and keeps walkin', totally unphased by their dipshittery (yeah, that's a new word I invented). The ringleader, let's call him Captain Asshat, starts shoutin' at us.

"Hey, fagboys!"

This just goes to show the level of their intelligence, more specifically, the lack there-of. Anyway, Wolfe ignores them and keeps walking. Never once swaying, staggering, hesitating, or showing even the slightest hint of acknowledgement. At this point, I'm beggin' Wolfe to let me knock them around a bit. He just smiles and says, "you think they're worth it?"

That kinda pissed me off because I knew (and obviously, so did he) that they weren't. I'd be lucky to get in a hit on any of them. They'd all run while laughing and still talkin' shit. And even if I did manage to catch up and beat the hell out of them, it wouldn't be as satisfying. For some reason, having to chase after them, through a mall with all those witnesses only catching me beating some punk kids and not seeing the instigation part...

Yeah, it really wasn't worth it.

However, Asshat decided he wanted to show just how much of a badass he really was. So he hops up off his little seat on the planter and almost comes bounding toward us. Wolfe keeps walking. Now, I really wanna know why Asshat thought this was a good idea. But he asks Wolfe, loud and clear, which managed to get a few heads to turn, "hey, you gay!?"

Before I finish, I have to ask again, why did he think that asking that was a good idea? Or was he hoping to start something? Anyway, "hey, you gay!?"

And without missing a beat, Wolfe looked at him up and down real quick and replied just as loud as he did, "nope, but even if I was you'd be one of the safest mutha-fuckers here!" And kept right on walking.

I was in so much shock at his reply that I followed in step and didn't start to laugh until we were a few paces away. I guess it was a shock for Asshat too because it took him a minute before he shouted "fuck you!"

The best part was the old lady that shouted "Jeffery!" Looks like Asshat's mom caught him being naughty. I turned around to catch mom yelling at little Jeffy, and Wolfe just kept right on walking. I think this was the second funniest thing I have ever heard come from Wolfe.