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End of Year Update
6 years ago
Alright then. Seems while I have been on here a lot, I didn't post much of anything. Not been able to draw anything, just can't seem to find heart for it other than a few sketches. I'll come back to those as for those who watch me might have noticed something with them.
This has not been the best year for me, but a few things do shine through!
First off, I got my own wheels again! Not a car, as in this city and this state they tax the hell out of you which I cannot afford, but a moped! A 2019 49cc Bentelli Scorch! I couldn't take the bus/metro anymore. Long story short, I was assaulted on ride into work. Guy was crazy and possibly drunk. He wanted me to go with him for... things. I refused and he grabbed me hard. Still have a mark where his nail cut me. After than I knew the less I took the bus the better. I was able to get a loan and finally be free to go where I want again. It takes a little longer with only a max speed of 35mph, but still I am no longer bound by someone else driving for most places- and someone has only tried to steal it once in the 3 months I've owned it! I'm always careful to lock the steering column and point it towards a wall or lock it up at work near a highly monitored area.
And... recently, like in the past week. I am out of debt. I was able to pay off something to the tune of $2800 after years of struggle. This leaves me flat broke for the holidays but at least that is no longer over my head. It feels good, for what feels like after the longest time I have something that resembles hope again, to the point I am looking forward to what the new year may bring. 2020 might be a little brighter.
This is where things may get a little ramble-y, if you the reader wish you can skip this whole bit. This is more or less personal thoughts and I think writing it all out might help me.
For those who don't know, or might not have guessed. I've been considering going back to being a synthetic lifeform again. Not my old synthoid wolf form, I am still a lucario and that is not changing any time soon! Just... gonna be a robot lucario. After talking with a number of friends, even reconnecting with a couple from my old machine life I've come to realize I've never left my robot outlook on life, not really at least. It feel strange now, as I'm not a machine trying to be like a biological being, but a pokemon that just happens to be a machine. In a way it kind feels like completely over writing my past form, but is that really so bad? Yes it hurt a bit losing touch with my wolf form, but we grow and move on. I'm not the same person I was. Somehow I seem to associate this with my moving on to becoming someone else again. Is it growing or going back? Maybe because of my transgender nature, making ANY choices that involve making changes to my body RL or Sona (which is really an extension of myself, NOT a character) requires me to really think about it. Overall, I'm still debating, but I am seriously leaning to the 'bot life again. Once a bot always a bot? I've given myself until Jan 25th (my birthday) to make the final decision. So. We'll see won't we?
This has not been the best year for me, but a few things do shine through!
First off, I got my own wheels again! Not a car, as in this city and this state they tax the hell out of you which I cannot afford, but a moped! A 2019 49cc Bentelli Scorch! I couldn't take the bus/metro anymore. Long story short, I was assaulted on ride into work. Guy was crazy and possibly drunk. He wanted me to go with him for... things. I refused and he grabbed me hard. Still have a mark where his nail cut me. After than I knew the less I took the bus the better. I was able to get a loan and finally be free to go where I want again. It takes a little longer with only a max speed of 35mph, but still I am no longer bound by someone else driving for most places- and someone has only tried to steal it once in the 3 months I've owned it! I'm always careful to lock the steering column and point it towards a wall or lock it up at work near a highly monitored area.
And... recently, like in the past week. I am out of debt. I was able to pay off something to the tune of $2800 after years of struggle. This leaves me flat broke for the holidays but at least that is no longer over my head. It feels good, for what feels like after the longest time I have something that resembles hope again, to the point I am looking forward to what the new year may bring. 2020 might be a little brighter.
This is where things may get a little ramble-y, if you the reader wish you can skip this whole bit. This is more or less personal thoughts and I think writing it all out might help me.
For those who don't know, or might not have guessed. I've been considering going back to being a synthetic lifeform again. Not my old synthoid wolf form, I am still a lucario and that is not changing any time soon! Just... gonna be a robot lucario. After talking with a number of friends, even reconnecting with a couple from my old machine life I've come to realize I've never left my robot outlook on life, not really at least. It feel strange now, as I'm not a machine trying to be like a biological being, but a pokemon that just happens to be a machine. In a way it kind feels like completely over writing my past form, but is that really so bad? Yes it hurt a bit losing touch with my wolf form, but we grow and move on. I'm not the same person I was. Somehow I seem to associate this with my moving on to becoming someone else again. Is it growing or going back? Maybe because of my transgender nature, making ANY choices that involve making changes to my body RL or Sona (which is really an extension of myself, NOT a character) requires me to really think about it. Overall, I'm still debating, but I am seriously leaning to the 'bot life again. Once a bot always a bot? I've given myself until Jan 25th (my birthday) to make the final decision. So. We'll see won't we?
We hope 2020 will be a good year