FA+
Shop
Reflecting on my depression, 2019 and new goals
6 years ago
Hoooo boy, 2019 was a doozy! Let's start from the start.
The year started off as most years do, I felt happy was spending time with the few close friends I had, preparing for college and working on driving lessons.
Just over half way through the year everything seemed to collapse in on itself.
A lot happened in August and September and I was left battling depression. As much as it shames me to admit it, I did make an attempt at my own life.
I sought help, both through my employer and my friends/family. I saw two psychologists for 3 months straight almost every week. It was very mentally draining at first, every day felt like a chore. There were some days where I honestly thought I didn't have the strength to succeed and I wanted to give up.
However, I never expected to receive the amount of support I did. From both close friends and people I hardly knew, all of you flocked to me and became the crutch I used to keep moving forward. I was seriously blown away.
I'm in a happier space now. I've stopped seeing my psychologists, both of them agreed their services were no longer needed, but both said they were a call away incase anything happened. Now I actually go into my days with a smile on my face. So thank you, you all know who you are.
2019 wasn't all grim though. I picked up streaming again and I've had a lot of fun with it. So much in fact that I've invested a fair amount into improving my streams and I hope to reach more people and either entertain them, help them smile, or even bring them into a community where they will feel welcome.
Despite losing a fair few friends over this year, I do feel like I've connected with more people. I socialise more, even if it's on the internet and I just feel more human than I did half way through the year.
Never done this publicly, but I have goals I want to set out for 2020 which are as followed:
-Get my driver's license
-Learn to cook
-Learn to draw
-Start college
-Make a proper weekly schedule that will improve my productivity
-Reach 300 followers on twitch (This is almost tripple my current amount)
-Actually upload my backlog
-Write and upload a story a month
-Spend more time with the people I love (this may be at the bottom, but this is the most important to me)
So yeah, there we have it. Lots to do, lots to look forward to. I know that this journal has some heavy shit in it, but hiding it away would feel wrong. If I want to move on I've got to be open and honest about where I've been and where I'm headed. I'll see you all in the next decade.
Happy New Year.
Much Love,
Dusk
The year started off as most years do, I felt happy was spending time with the few close friends I had, preparing for college and working on driving lessons.
Just over half way through the year everything seemed to collapse in on itself.
A lot happened in August and September and I was left battling depression. As much as it shames me to admit it, I did make an attempt at my own life.
I sought help, both through my employer and my friends/family. I saw two psychologists for 3 months straight almost every week. It was very mentally draining at first, every day felt like a chore. There were some days where I honestly thought I didn't have the strength to succeed and I wanted to give up.
However, I never expected to receive the amount of support I did. From both close friends and people I hardly knew, all of you flocked to me and became the crutch I used to keep moving forward. I was seriously blown away.
I'm in a happier space now. I've stopped seeing my psychologists, both of them agreed their services were no longer needed, but both said they were a call away incase anything happened. Now I actually go into my days with a smile on my face. So thank you, you all know who you are.
2019 wasn't all grim though. I picked up streaming again and I've had a lot of fun with it. So much in fact that I've invested a fair amount into improving my streams and I hope to reach more people and either entertain them, help them smile, or even bring them into a community where they will feel welcome.
Despite losing a fair few friends over this year, I do feel like I've connected with more people. I socialise more, even if it's on the internet and I just feel more human than I did half way through the year.
Never done this publicly, but I have goals I want to set out for 2020 which are as followed:
-Get my driver's license
-Learn to cook
-Learn to draw
-Start college
-Make a proper weekly schedule that will improve my productivity
-Reach 300 followers on twitch (This is almost tripple my current amount)
-Actually upload my backlog
-Write and upload a story a month
-Spend more time with the people I love (this may be at the bottom, but this is the most important to me)
So yeah, there we have it. Lots to do, lots to look forward to. I know that this journal has some heavy shit in it, but hiding it away would feel wrong. If I want to move on I've got to be open and honest about where I've been and where I'm headed. I'll see you all in the next decade.
Happy New Year.
Much Love,
Dusk
Love you my bestie~