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I turn 30 next week (my 2010-2020 recap)
6 years ago
You know what, I've been adulting for a while now. I don't feel old and I don't feel like I wasted my time. 🤷♀️ *stands on annual soap box*
... and it's not like anyone really reads this, but it's nice to have this writing down somewhere visible in case an old acquaintance decides to chance upon this journal.
1) (Past) What was I up to a decade ago?
From 2010-2013, looking back, I only really see and remember the negatives. I created an astounding number of connections, most of whom I don't feel comfortable interacting with anymore. There were plenty of bridges that burned down due to my behavior. I lied constantly, I mooched off of others, and the drugs didn't make things any better. These patterns continued well into my mid 20s before hitting a rock bottom late 2013. My dad called me a failure since I was unable to get any sort of work and unable to support myself. I stopped taking care of myself and people began avoiding me like the plague.
It took a while to climb out of that. I was fortunate enough to have caring individuals support me emotionally, encouraging me to do better. Someone took me under their wing and let me stay at their house with highly reduced rent, allowing me to subsist on a minimum wage job in the Bay Area. 2014 is when things really took off. I started school again. I had intense, humiliating experiences that year that forced me onto the straight and narrow. The connections I began to make were much more meaningful. I started hosting events. People started to look up to me. Doors started opening as I began to take my career path seriously. I attended events that could bolster my resume and began leveraging connections. I failed many, many, many, many interviews. With the help of countless others, began to iron out the negative qualities that held me back for so long.
My life has been dramatically improving since then, which leads me to the present...
2) (Present) Where am I now?
Currently living with my partners in San Leandro. I'm very far into my career and can see myself doing front-end tech work until retirement. It's fun, I'm excellent at it and I get more than enough compensation + benefits. I have backup plans for most things that could go wrong, retirement and a healthy savings, two houses and a rock solid poly relationship. I would suppose the only thing I'm missing is a degree.
These days I am desperately trying to find a hobby that will stick. I've picked up and dropped things so quickly over short periods of time - unlike my passing interests in the past, however, I put real research, practice, and networking into each hobby, making each experience valuable and less flailing in the dark.
3D modeling
2D drawing
Guitar/Music
Electronics / FPGA / Arduino / Microcontrollers
Building (wood, basic architecture)
Cooking
My most recent partner-inspired hobby involves heavy analog and electronics. My current project involves using a 6502 microprocessor and creating a display wall calendar from scratch with VGA output (baby steps!). Luckily it seems like all the things I bought to support this are good investments, unlike dropping a grand on a cintiq 22 I barely use, a couple hundred on guitar equipment, etc. Our next big investments will be a table saw, router and a belt sander, and a 3D printer.
One thing I continually enjoy doing is traveling. Can't really call that a hobby. I am not tied to any one location for work, so I take the liberty to leave home when it's convenient and affordable. I am spending one month in San Diego in an AirBnB and 3 months jumping hostel to hostel in Europe this year.
Burning Man has become a staple - despite the stress and effort to get things prepared, the experience is always worth it in the end.
This probably should be mentioned - I have strayed well into asexual territory enough to start identifying as such, albeit a subset of asexuality called "Autochorissexual" (https://asexuals.fandom.com/wiki/Autochorissexual).
3) (Future) What are my plans for this decade?
San Diego is our next destination at the end of this year, where it will slightly be more affordable, and from there we will decide where we eventually want to buy our house together as gay poly men. This is in addition to the properties I already co-own with my mother, so I will always have a connection back to the Bay Area. 🙄
Honestly, after another years worth of savings, I think I'm ready to responsibly have a kid, which is a lot earlier than I expected. There's a matter of checking certain bucket list items first, I think???? I find it hard to find good role models for this sort of thing, all of the gay men in my life don't seem to have interest in starting a family like that. I don't think this is a decision I would make before I'm 35, but it's nice to know I have the means now.
I would eventually like to take a sabbatical one of these years. A couple of months in Southeast Asia is appealing - the only thing preventing me from doing that now is non-100% internet coverage, preventing me from working abroad. Hotspot in other countries is pretty slow, and hopping cafe to hostel to libraries can only get you so far.
Furry cons are not a priority anymore. I will still try to always attend FC (this year is my 12th year streak). This year I'll be missing out on almost every furry con I usually go to since I will be out of country. Furry cons are nice, but I don't drink or do drugs anymore, I already know too many people and the idea of partying for an entire weekend is no longer appealing.
***
... and that's all, folks! It's been a crazy 10 years and and the next decade will be crazier still. Next time I write another one of these things I will be 40.
... and it's not like anyone really reads this, but it's nice to have this writing down somewhere visible in case an old acquaintance decides to chance upon this journal.
1) (Past) What was I up to a decade ago?
From 2010-2013, looking back, I only really see and remember the negatives. I created an astounding number of connections, most of whom I don't feel comfortable interacting with anymore. There were plenty of bridges that burned down due to my behavior. I lied constantly, I mooched off of others, and the drugs didn't make things any better. These patterns continued well into my mid 20s before hitting a rock bottom late 2013. My dad called me a failure since I was unable to get any sort of work and unable to support myself. I stopped taking care of myself and people began avoiding me like the plague.
It took a while to climb out of that. I was fortunate enough to have caring individuals support me emotionally, encouraging me to do better. Someone took me under their wing and let me stay at their house with highly reduced rent, allowing me to subsist on a minimum wage job in the Bay Area. 2014 is when things really took off. I started school again. I had intense, humiliating experiences that year that forced me onto the straight and narrow. The connections I began to make were much more meaningful. I started hosting events. People started to look up to me. Doors started opening as I began to take my career path seriously. I attended events that could bolster my resume and began leveraging connections. I failed many, many, many, many interviews. With the help of countless others, began to iron out the negative qualities that held me back for so long.
My life has been dramatically improving since then, which leads me to the present...
2) (Present) Where am I now?
Currently living with my partners in San Leandro. I'm very far into my career and can see myself doing front-end tech work until retirement. It's fun, I'm excellent at it and I get more than enough compensation + benefits. I have backup plans for most things that could go wrong, retirement and a healthy savings, two houses and a rock solid poly relationship. I would suppose the only thing I'm missing is a degree.
These days I am desperately trying to find a hobby that will stick. I've picked up and dropped things so quickly over short periods of time - unlike my passing interests in the past, however, I put real research, practice, and networking into each hobby, making each experience valuable and less flailing in the dark.
3D modeling
2D drawing
Guitar/Music
Electronics / FPGA / Arduino / Microcontrollers
Building (wood, basic architecture)
Cooking
My most recent partner-inspired hobby involves heavy analog and electronics. My current project involves using a 6502 microprocessor and creating a display wall calendar from scratch with VGA output (baby steps!). Luckily it seems like all the things I bought to support this are good investments, unlike dropping a grand on a cintiq 22 I barely use, a couple hundred on guitar equipment, etc. Our next big investments will be a table saw, router and a belt sander, and a 3D printer.
One thing I continually enjoy doing is traveling. Can't really call that a hobby. I am not tied to any one location for work, so I take the liberty to leave home when it's convenient and affordable. I am spending one month in San Diego in an AirBnB and 3 months jumping hostel to hostel in Europe this year.
Burning Man has become a staple - despite the stress and effort to get things prepared, the experience is always worth it in the end.
This probably should be mentioned - I have strayed well into asexual territory enough to start identifying as such, albeit a subset of asexuality called "Autochorissexual" (https://asexuals.fandom.com/wiki/Autochorissexual).
3) (Future) What are my plans for this decade?
San Diego is our next destination at the end of this year, where it will slightly be more affordable, and from there we will decide where we eventually want to buy our house together as gay poly men. This is in addition to the properties I already co-own with my mother, so I will always have a connection back to the Bay Area. 🙄
Honestly, after another years worth of savings, I think I'm ready to responsibly have a kid, which is a lot earlier than I expected. There's a matter of checking certain bucket list items first, I think???? I find it hard to find good role models for this sort of thing, all of the gay men in my life don't seem to have interest in starting a family like that. I don't think this is a decision I would make before I'm 35, but it's nice to know I have the means now.
I would eventually like to take a sabbatical one of these years. A couple of months in Southeast Asia is appealing - the only thing preventing me from doing that now is non-100% internet coverage, preventing me from working abroad. Hotspot in other countries is pretty slow, and hopping cafe to hostel to libraries can only get you so far.
Furry cons are not a priority anymore. I will still try to always attend FC (this year is my 12th year streak). This year I'll be missing out on almost every furry con I usually go to since I will be out of country. Furry cons are nice, but I don't drink or do drugs anymore, I already know too many people and the idea of partying for an entire weekend is no longer appealing.
***
... and that's all, folks! It's been a crazy 10 years and and the next decade will be crazier still. Next time I write another one of these things I will be 40.
You had a pretty solid decade! I still remember Japan adventures! Congrats on the dirty thirty!
