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Painful to Read.
18 years ago
I recently joined writing.com and I was reading some of the stories on there. This one made me laugh at how horrible it was, left me confused, and made me want to shoot myself at the same time. You have been warned: http://www.writing.com/main/view_it....._id/1228145#sw
For those of you who who can't stand spelling/grammer mistakes I revised it to be gramically correct. See:
Natalie Leles climbed onto the boat. There was no sign of struggle or murder. But somehow Natalie knew that her uncle's body was somewhere. She searched the boat for any evidence, but all she found was a black mark on the floor boards. It looked like the mark was made by fire, but Natalie couldn't be sure. She climbed onto the small motor boat that she had brought with her and her assistant Jack asked "Found anything?”
“No not yet,” she replied, “but we'll find some thing soon,” she added. With that they went back home... well Jack went home, but Natalie had to ask a few questions first.
Even she knew very well that her Aunty Sue didn't commit the crime she went to ask her a question. Driving very carefully, because it was a snowy night, she finally got to Aunty Sue's house. Aunty Sue was already outside, waiting for her, her arms stretched out for a hug. Aunty Sue was a big women who wore big pink woolly jumpers, long purple and big baggy under-ware. When she and Aunty Sue were comfy, Natalie decided to ask the question.
She started, “Um Aunty Sue, you know how I've been hired to investigate about uncle's death? Well I thought that maybe I could ask you a question to help me. The thing is: what did uncle say just before he left?”
“ Well just before left he said ‘I hope we see each other again.’” Aunty Sue replied,
“Thanks Sue” Natalie said and left. She had one more place to go: the old pub that uncle used to go to.
There was old Fredd, just the person she wanted. Natalie walked up to him and said “Hey old Fredd, you know my uncle, did he visit the pub before he left?”
After a moment of thinking old Fredd said “Actually yes. He gave me five hundred dollars and then set out to sea, left with out a word he did, left with out a word.”
The next day Natalie went down to the ship in which her uncle was murdered in. This time she searched over to the side of the ship were the equipment was kept. As she stepped on the floor board with the black mark the floor gave way and she fell down, down, down in to a dark hallway, the walls were stained with blood and black marks like the one on the floor board. She followed the hallway and found two skeletons. One had a match in his hand and the other was partly burnt.
It still makes no sense.
For those of you who who can't stand spelling/grammer mistakes I revised it to be gramically correct. See:
Natalie Leles climbed onto the boat. There was no sign of struggle or murder. But somehow Natalie knew that her uncle's body was somewhere. She searched the boat for any evidence, but all she found was a black mark on the floor boards. It looked like the mark was made by fire, but Natalie couldn't be sure. She climbed onto the small motor boat that she had brought with her and her assistant Jack asked "Found anything?”
“No not yet,” she replied, “but we'll find some thing soon,” she added. With that they went back home... well Jack went home, but Natalie had to ask a few questions first.
Even she knew very well that her Aunty Sue didn't commit the crime she went to ask her a question. Driving very carefully, because it was a snowy night, she finally got to Aunty Sue's house. Aunty Sue was already outside, waiting for her, her arms stretched out for a hug. Aunty Sue was a big women who wore big pink woolly jumpers, long purple and big baggy under-ware. When she and Aunty Sue were comfy, Natalie decided to ask the question.
She started, “Um Aunty Sue, you know how I've been hired to investigate about uncle's death? Well I thought that maybe I could ask you a question to help me. The thing is: what did uncle say just before he left?”
“ Well just before left he said ‘I hope we see each other again.’” Aunty Sue replied,
“Thanks Sue” Natalie said and left. She had one more place to go: the old pub that uncle used to go to.
There was old Fredd, just the person she wanted. Natalie walked up to him and said “Hey old Fredd, you know my uncle, did he visit the pub before he left?”
After a moment of thinking old Fredd said “Actually yes. He gave me five hundred dollars and then set out to sea, left with out a word he did, left with out a word.”
The next day Natalie went down to the ship in which her uncle was murdered in. This time she searched over to the side of the ship were the equipment was kept. As she stepped on the floor board with the black mark the floor gave way and she fell down, down, down in to a dark hallway, the walls were stained with blood and black marks like the one on the floor board. She followed the hallway and found two skeletons. One had a match in his hand and the other was partly burnt.
It still makes no sense.
