My mom passed away tragically on Friday. I still haven't taken a shower, been spending time crying on her bed and my work sent me home after I collapsed seeing strawberries and started to cry because that was one of her last desserts she had. She had been in the hospital and they took fluid out of her and then the day she was leaving she was crying in pain and they said they couldn't do anything for her and just brushed her off with tylenol, well several days later she just started to throw up and there was blood in it, we rushed her to the hospital where they did everything they could for her including putting a breathing tube down and dialysis machine. And while she was semi conscious and semi with it the night before overnight her entire blood pressure plumetted and I was faced with a hard decision to make - either resusitate with everything failing, her not clotting and them possibly breaking her chest bones and her dying peacefully with no pain. I chose the latter and I just broke down. She paid the lion share of the bills and I've been in freak out mode since everything started. I know I will receive something from her pensions but I don't know how long that will take and I know I can't stay in NJ - I will have to move probably down south. We've been looking at houses down south and I'm hoping that we'll be able to find jobs since i have 14 years experience in Deli/Seafood Departments in a the Grocery store. We're hoping that once the pension stuff comes through I can outright buy a house even if its super cheap but right now I'm going to be faced with bills until the money is freed up from the pensions. If anyone has anything to give I'd really appreciate it. I feel so lost right now and scared out of my mind.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/kwmqg-de.....cp+share-sheet