So, if you commissioned me, you may wonder when the art will be ready. I promised many of you to finish your piece in February. Yeah my promises never work as they should
Don't worry though, I could be anyone but not a scammer. Here's why though

Thing is, I go through many layers of self-reflection and analysis last few months. And here's the explanation of why it's taking me that long. No excuses, just facts
Procrastination -> Commission list not moving anywhere -> Huge guilt -> Escapism -> Procrastination
Money pressure -> Perfectionism -> Trying hard to meet the "standarts" I put in my work before -> Anxiety -> Procrastination
Escapism -> Shopping Addiction (I don't drink, so I'm not an alchoholic yet) -> Money Loss -> Have to pay rent and survive also -> Debts -> Guilt/Commissions stacking -> Escapism
Perfectionism -> Trying to make every piece "original" -> Haha bad idea with porn drawings -> Anxiety and guilt -> Perfectionism

So those are the mechanisms I discovered going through my head each and every day. I already working on solving those problems and breaking the harmful loops
As far as I could say, first - I'm not a best person to work as a freelance artist. But I have no choice. I have no other source of income while have to provide for myself and my family
Second - I should probably switch my efforts into Patreon or something. Stop taking commissions, with a few YCHs time at a time. Sounds like a plan, but I should think about that
Third - I'm pretty close to solve those problems and harmful loops. If only I could ask for a little bit more patience (which I probably don't deserve at this point)

My list is about 30+ commissions right now. That number is quite huge and that creates anxiety itself. Not only that, I also owe some money amounts and it's pretty huge too
But right now I'm not capable of even buy some food. Yeah I know it's my fault. But I need just a little bit more time, I feel that I'm close to a conclusion and becoming a better person and better artist
And yes I understand, it's pretty annoying. Like, even if you choose not to wait anymore, what can you do? Especially if you paid for the art 6+ months ago (PayPal refund time)
This is a bummer because you're kinda forced to wait and see when I could actually do something. I understand. And I'm sorry that you were put in such position
All I ask for right now is a support and, yes, a little bit more patience. I'll do my best to provide art and money to all people I owe. Sooner or later

My plan is to take is slowly-ish, establishing good habits, try to be more loose, work with timer. Quality might get damaged a little bit though. But I finally can start to be consistent and work every day, so my list will start to melt. That's what I'm hoping for
And I'll do some more YCHs soon, collabs and solo too, enlarging my list of commissions more, but I have no choice at this moment. I'll make sure that bidders acknowledge that (not a thing with collabs though, since almost all the work is on my collab partners)

Thank you for reading and I hope you'll have a good day