ive come to realize over the last month how much harder the the days and nights have gotten. all i keep seeing replayed in my head is me walking into the bathroom seeing you slumped over with the pistol i got you the minutes felt like hours trying to get you heart to beat again but i failed i couldnt save you matter how much i yelled to you to come back when i was doing cpr , its keeps playing over and over again in my head where just te smells from that day puts me back there.everyday its like im lose you again over and over. Babs im lost without you ,you were my vixen, my wife , and forever mate but now i wake up every day rolling over to kiss you good morning like usual only to have reality hit again like a semi that it happened even though it feels like a nightmare i just cant wake up from.
Holly Fox Balcar i'l miss you and love you even after my days are up. when you died all the good in my heart and soul died with you the only reason i can fool with kiddos is because i know i have to be strong infront of and for them.but when im here in our home alone i still see your blood on the floor and walls in that room even though i cleaned it i still see it all there. i dont know what to do anymore other than work work work work to keep the mind busy and me outa our house.id give anyrhing to be able to hold you and hear your voice.