FA+
Shop
Peace at last. <3
16 years ago
So my ex boyfriend (who broke up with me about a month or two into last school year and then told me never to talk to him again and that he hated my guts a couple weeks before the end of the school year) just sent me this email..... and it reminded me of the way he was when I met him. Sweet, a little hesitant, and completely unsure of where he stood but still without a care in the world if whoever he was talking to hated him or not. He had done some pretty messed up shit while we were hanging out, made me think I was special, that he actually genuinely liked me, ( granted he was the first boy to ever show any sort of interest in me at ALL.) played with my heart, used me, and then just tossed me aside like a piece of garbage without so much as HALF a warning..... and just now he said he was sorry for it.
Now coming from HIM, this is the kind of thing that people react to with, O.o " HOLY SHIT THE FUCKING WORLD'S GONNA END!!!!! HE APOLOGIZED!?!?!?!!?" He said in the message that I'd probably either get mad at him and yell, or start crying, but the funny thing is, I don't feel like doing either. To be honest, if he was within ten feet of me right now I would hug him. Whether he wanted me to or not. ( and considering my insanely shy and timid nature when it comes to face-to-face things, that's saying a lot.) I'm not angry at him..... honestly I never really was. I was only hurt..... And I did my best to NOT turn that hurt into anger, or act on that hurt and lash out at him. I think I failed a little, but I managed to keep most of it inside where I could hide it away and pretend it wasn't there. lol and now that I've got this message..... I feel peaceful. The one unsolved thing in my life, the one thing I know I screwed up on too, is..... less gnawing. I read that message, and suddenly I felt more at peace than I have since my dad and I were hanging out at my grandma's house. When I'm with my dad, everything else just melts away and I can focus on all the happy things in life. :) and this message... it did the same thing. On a smaller scale that I know will be shattered sometime tomorrow, but at least I can sleep in peace for tonight. :)
( I only ever really get to see my dad once a year, what with him living in Idaho and me living in colorado and all.)
So.... yeah. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now... <3 lol :3
Now coming from HIM, this is the kind of thing that people react to with, O.o " HOLY SHIT THE FUCKING WORLD'S GONNA END!!!!! HE APOLOGIZED!?!?!?!!?" He said in the message that I'd probably either get mad at him and yell, or start crying, but the funny thing is, I don't feel like doing either. To be honest, if he was within ten feet of me right now I would hug him. Whether he wanted me to or not. ( and considering my insanely shy and timid nature when it comes to face-to-face things, that's saying a lot.) I'm not angry at him..... honestly I never really was. I was only hurt..... And I did my best to NOT turn that hurt into anger, or act on that hurt and lash out at him. I think I failed a little, but I managed to keep most of it inside where I could hide it away and pretend it wasn't there. lol and now that I've got this message..... I feel peaceful. The one unsolved thing in my life, the one thing I know I screwed up on too, is..... less gnawing. I read that message, and suddenly I felt more at peace than I have since my dad and I were hanging out at my grandma's house. When I'm with my dad, everything else just melts away and I can focus on all the happy things in life. :) and this message... it did the same thing. On a smaller scale that I know will be shattered sometime tomorrow, but at least I can sleep in peace for tonight. :)
( I only ever really get to see my dad once a year, what with him living in Idaho and me living in colorado and all.)
So.... yeah. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now... <3 lol :3
KittyWolfie122
~kittywolfie122
yay... *puke* lol. jk
BlackWolfKitten
~blackwolfkitten
OP
XP * fake glares at you* grrr. just Grrrrr. X3
KittyWolfie122
~kittywolfie122
I WASN'T READING YOU'RE STUPID EMAIL! I JUST DOn'T WANT YOU GETTIG HURT AGIAN!!!.... natty... this looks like the same game .... Markell Scott played with me... i love you i don't know you i love you again....
KittyWolfie122
~kittywolfie122
i love u too much to let... THAT happen... if i can stop it... understand where i'm coming from??
BlackWolfKitten
~blackwolfkitten
OP
PUH-LEEZE! he's in Denver, I'm here, me cell is broken, plus he's not one for long distance relationships, and neither one of us is gong to be driving up to see the other at any point in time. And he never really liked me in the first place. not gunna happen the was HE did. trust me. :)
KittyWolfie122
~kittywolfie122
chibi please. shiz happens... things change... people change... or at least they act like they do cuz they're bored/ alone.
BlackWolfKitten
~blackwolfkitten
OP
lol. X3 that's cute... you really think Mike'd change like that? over one short summer? lol nah... plus you know me, I'm not good with the whole long-distance thing. Even if he offered, due to the distance I'd decline..... however sadly...... It's just nice to know that his heart isn't completely fabricated, that's all. <3 It's nice to know that the Mike I MET ( when he first asked me out) might actually be real in there somewhere, not just a little mask to get girls close. :)
KittyWolfie122
~kittywolfie122
Distance? GEORGE. -.- ... Masks are real. You know that better than anyone i know. Only cuz you know me. You know a person can create WHO they are around a mask. You've seen me do it. but you also know those masks break, or you make new ones. Mean ones, nice ones. cold ones. That's what this society has taught us to do. those of us who can't fit in right. who just can't be normal. who think different. That's how we survive. you've told me countless times mike and i are alike. well.. red and i have been talking... and well.. mike and i are REALLY alike... only difference... my gma= his dad. His mom = my dad, and his brother = my dad. WE are both a little fucked up. i just was raised different s i've get a better handle on it and i understand what the fuck is going on in my mind.... probably helps that at 10 i could tell you ALL about endorphins and all that shit and holy shit i just spelled endorphins right and i can't spell those right....
BlackWolfKitten
~blackwolfkitten
OP
correction, Masks can BECOME real, if the person wearing the masks desires that to be the case. not everyone becomes their mask, some people just put them on as a show now and then, or when they have to deal with people they don't like.
