The advice that I live by is just being honest with yourself an don't be afraid of "No" cause you will hear it but that just means that particular person isn't for you 😉

And don't be afraid to shoot for anyone you feel might be too beautiful/handsome for ya cause you never know what they like.😁

Lastly (hugs) just remember that if ya feel alone don't be afraid to rely on friends too 😊

Just gotta meet people I suppose.

I usually meet people I like through RP, but everyone has their method that works for them.
:3

Everyone's luck is different when it comes to dating. Some people have all the luck in the world and can find someone no problem. Others through online gaming and roleplay.

Don't be afraid to take that chance when you feel someone could potentially be that special someone and don't be discouraged if they turn you down. You'll find the one for you it's only a matter of when

~ Sighs at first. and then takes a deep breath, putting on a serious face. ~

Finding someone who you will be comfortable with, in misery and in good times is not easy.

Finding someone who will respect you, and that you can respect, is not easy.

Finding someone who will have similar interests, be they small or big, is not incredibly hard, but finding a balance of the things that draw you together, can feel unsurmountable at times. But it is good to find a mixture of hobbies, enjoyable stuff, sexual stuff, that you have in common.

It is a lifelong goal of many to find the perfect partner, but perfection doesn't truly exist. Everything in life is shades of grey.

Be honest with yourself, be true to yourself, and just flat out say the things you want, need, and cherish in a relationship. Don't pick people because of their looks only, when you're old, it won't matter as much as their personality, their joie de vivre, and the hobbies and experiences you share.

You really just have to look around you, look online, and find places where those that congregate there have similar hobbies, or attract those you think you might enjoy spending time with.

Just don't forget, that a long time partner, and someone you just date( and fuck often.), don't necessarily always have the chops to be a long time partner.

Some people can't even cook for themselves, or clean up after themselves, or can't even keep a dollar in their bank account. They might be great fucks, or fun people to party with, or fun to hang out with, but make poor partners. Especially those who don't want to do the a fucking thing in the house.

Just keep all that in mind, and go out there, and don't fear rejection, because if you don't take the first step, you'll just never know.

That's all I gotta say about it.

Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely not looking for perfection. I'm no perfect person. I dont expect my partner to be... and I'm not really interested in casual meaningless relationships or sex either. It just seems like a waste of time now, and it has never meant much without being close to that person. Really thats what I want; closeness, someone to enjoy life with even in the mundane, good and bad. Sex and kink would just be an icing on the cake.

I think my main issue is that I had this naive fairy tale esque outlook on finding love until very recently ... that it would be a natural "at first sight" sort of thing ... something that wouldn't require much effort and "just happen". Now I realize how flawed that line of thinking may be... and I'm angry at myself for wasting years ... time I could have been more actively searching. I mean I know I can't force something like this either, but I think that's why I feel so upset now ... I feel like a fool.

I... never got the luxury (I know I'm calling it a luxury.) of believing in something like that, as I said, life is all shades of grey, and depending on how your life has unfolded, some things might feel wasted or foolish. There is little we can do about the past, and we shouldn't linger too much on it. It's good to reflect and learn from it, but bad to hold regrets or live in the past. Just move past it, and go forward, and see what life brings your way. Might sound silly, but you sometimes just have to take it one day at a time.

Just have to take that first step in this new direction, y'know?

You're right of course... I cant rush it. But I just want to make up for lost time... ya know? Still I know I take sooo long to get close to people ... that that's not realistic anyway.
But I shouldn't let it bother me so much.... like I need to keep an eye out. I can't be as passive as I was before.. that never worked, but I shouldn't obsess over being alone either...

anyway
Thanks ^^

You're welcome and stuff.

Stay away from the internet/ online relationships etc..

I'd say try meeting or getting friends first, someone would understand and support you as they will last longer in your life and will be there on your side, hang out have fun, meet new people etc.. Build your relationship life from there after, you never know when or where you would meet someone you like.
Like everyone said, be honest with yourself and to them, if things didn't work out, they're not the right ones for you.

It's tough, especially with this pandemic, but after all of this is over, try going to places you like and might meet someone who shares similarities, eg, comic cons, hobby stores, things you like, maybe stay away from sensitive places with closed mind people.

For now, join a Discord with nice friendly community, chat and have some activities, I know how hard can it be to be lonely. But being in social group helps easing that feeling. And you get to discover, try or do new things with them.
Hope this helps, best luck.

Thanks for the advice!

I am wary of online relationships and being honest I'm not sure I could make long distance work either.... I'm just worried that the person for me is so specific that I might only be able to find them online you know...
I am lucky to have some supportive friends .. atleast I can say that... though you're right as soon as this pandemic is over, I should really try to get out there.

Damn, that sounds like me. I'm not very outgoing, except online, and that usually ends up with me hurting for one reason or another. If you get any good advice that helps, I'd be interested in knowing.