Hey everyone. I don't really do the journal thing so often but...

I wanted to take a second to apologize to everyone that ever tried to connect to me or make friends ... and over the years its been alot of you. I wish I could have .... every DM and message chain that I couldn't maintain has been a tiny fragment of pain to me and sadly it been has almost been of all them, ... but the truth is connecting to others and keeping that connection has always been my greatest struggle as a person. Sometimes I find myself wrestling with the thoughts of everything I could have missed by being so afraid to let others get close... I guess I'm still working on it and trying ... even though I know I can't be friends with everyone or find some sort of connection to everyone who kindly says hi, I hope I can learn to be better at it.

In the meantime I hope everyone has a happier 2021.... has to get better soon right? And to everyone still looking for their happiness... keep looking. I'm going to.