It's the eve of surgery, and even though I've been through this before - a few times now - for once I'm actually uncertain. I have all these things that I never had before, and the older you are, the more complications you have, the riskier surgery becomes. I'm no longer the robust person I used to be, and it's going to be a long night.

Right. Jumped the gun a little there. So let's get caught up.

About three weeks ago I saw my oncologist. Because the chemo had been hitting my blood counts so hard, I'd basically not had a complete treatment since I started, because they wouldn't treat if my WBC counts were too low. So long story short, the chemo never got a chance to really work. She recommended contacting UCSF for a second opinion and new plan. I had a video conference with the doctors there, and basically was told that this really isn't something I can beat. I'll be dealing with it the rest of my life. Even if we club it down into remission, I'll have to have scans and monitor things anywhere from every three months to yearly if I'm really lucky. Anyhow, the doctors at UCSF want to try other treatments - since my cancer is hormone sensitive, they recommended my ovaries be removed (Really wish they'd taken the damn things like I wanted when they took my uterus back in 2017) and then start on targeted treatments which we haven't yet gone over. Since my insurance ends 6/1, I had to get everyone to rush to get the ovariectomy scheduled and done before that deadline, which I have to say, they did a great job of arranging. Next step after healing from the surgery is another PET scan, and once they have those results the doctors at UCSF will talk about what treatment is looking best. These treatments are supposed to be easier on my body. (It would be nice not to be nauseous all the time, but everything has side effects.) Even though the chemo was stopped, I'm still feeling fatigued, nauseous, and have intermittent vomiting because of it. This is also going to put me in medical menopause, so who knows how fun THAT will be?

So then. I think that's it. Surgery to take those pesky ovaries out will be noon on the 21st. I get to get there early for more blood tests first, but I should come home that evening.

Also, thank you to those who gave me writing prompts. I'm currently plugging away at Zen and the art of Minotaur Maintenance, and will try my hand at the setting a minotaur in a gated community after that. It's just... y'all know I've never been a humorous writer, right? I dearly want to read that story, but I'm not so sure I can write it. We'll see what happens.