i just want to say thank you again for all the kind condolences and messages. i'm still grieving but i wanted to touch based with people. so i'm still waiting on a final price from the veterinarian place she told me i will get some money refunded but i have to wait a bit because i had to go ahead and make the call to cremate her. i will likely call them again later today to see whats up after hearing the bad news i think i might refund some people back once i get the final price. the 1400 they took was a deposit but she told me that it was going to be like.. 1070 or something like that i'm not sure. but i will let everyone know. i might just work on what commissions i have i appreciate the help so so much you guys have no idea.....anyway i'll just copy and paste what i wrote today on my twitter.

( CW if you don't like reading about medical stuff or sad things )

So now that I had time to process a bit I just want to let everyone know I’m okay just very very sad / drained. I want to say Seeing so many empathetic comments has made me realize that I’m not alone in dealing with a pets death and I’m thankful for everyone showing support on Twitter and on furaffinity. I sometimes forget that furries love animals and care a lot. So thank you. It’s hard for me because last year I lost my grandpa and 3 other family members that triggered my depression very hard. So loosing my dog sue is idk how to describe the pain but it’s just pain right now. So when I got the call from the vet they told me she had eaten something that punctured holes in her intestines that also punctured her pancreas. They told me if the where to try and fix her it would make it hard for her to recover and the best Was to just end her suffering. I really didn’t want to do this I had never put down a pet before myself so this was really really hard and I didn’t want her to suffer anymore. What sucked was I couldn’t drive over there to Seattle because I live like 30 minutes away and Didn’t want to make her suffer anymore. I feel a lot of guilt. I feel anger that the first vet misdiagnosed her. I’m just in general not happy. So now i'm waiting for a call today about her cremation stuff. I’m idk what to feel. I hate death. I Was so hopeful and confident she would make it. The doctor was really really sympathetic and actually cried too. You known I joked about not wanting her but I never ever meant it. I miss my dog.