Sorry to be captain Awkward of the good ship cringeworthy (I really don't care though) but I feel led to share this miraculous thing that's happened to me recently.

I discussed in a previous journal about me giving coffee enemas a chance. My mate had been using them for years, and she said they saved her life.

The first time I used it, I "passed" what turned out to be liver flukes or liver parasites. They were coating the insides of my intestines, blocking my ability to absorb nutrients.

In the 2 weeks plus that I have continued to use them, I have passed literal worms.

I use half coffee half water, some salt, and sometimes a few drops of tea tree and frankincense oil, and collagen peptides. I'm still experimenting. Warm water and coffee feels absolutely wonderful.

The anus is rich in nerve endings and quite honestly stuff in there feels awesome. I know a lot of people are into butt play in some way or another, why not so something that will improve your health?

So, since I embarked on this journey and i can tell you the following things have happened.

My vision is getting better. I had laser eye surgery years ago and sometimes I would blink and have perfect vision again, and it would go away the next blink. I realized using thera tears eye lubricant made my vision perfect, and I wondered why my eyes were so dry. I used to get one or two "crystal clear vision moments" a year, now i am getting that every day almost!

My joints are not hurting any more. I would take vinnegar and joint supplements and they would definitely help, but i feel like a teenager again.

My brain fog has cleared up. My memory is better. My depression is drifting away, and my worldview has changed to the positive, although a lot of that is me aligning my beliefs with my creator, still, everything is getting better. My thinking is clearing up! My anxiety is getting better! I was hospitalized for it, once!

I have more energy. I'm eating less but having more energy! I ate nothing this morning and nothing for lunch but i was able to run around shooting marshmallows at kids for hours and really didn't feel hungry. I think my body was in crisis mode for SO many years it was storing so much fat and nutrients that now that I am getting sorted out I am burning those long-stored nutrients. My mate was worried i was eating so little but I am actually fine. I had one slice of pizza later and i was actually fine, i had to stop eating.

People say that all illness starts in the gut, and they are finding out the gut actually controls more than we thought. They are actually almost curing autism with fecal transplants. Yes, you read that right. Google it you will be amazed.

I AM EATING LESS. I am literally wating 2/3 to 1/4 as much maybe even less. I went from craving sugar to the point of NEEDING it to not even caring about it AT ALL. I think my body had been living in crisis mode for SO LONG that it needed the carba to stay working. I eat 1-2 small meals and i am FINE WITH IT.

How many people are OBESE because they're feeding parasites instead of their bodies. Those parasites aren't taking the fat from your food they're taking the vitamins... And your body is left going hungry. How many people have mystery diseases that are parasite related. Most people have them and don't know it! Yeah it's gross seeing them in the toilet but it's even grosser letting them live inside of you! Eww!!!

Though my tongue is kinda sad it doesn't get to taste "consumption of mass quantities" my taste buds have actually started to come alive. I CAN TASTE MORE FLAVORS. Food is coming alive! I am eating less but the quality of the experience is improving! I was worried about how much I ate before, but I didn't want to starve, either. Not eating caused me serious pain!

I am drinking 2/3 more water! I wondered why I didn't drink that much, but now my body is demanding I drink a healthy amount. I add collagen to my water.

I am having more fun. Today I went to a birthday party for a friend of the kids and I had SO MUCH FUN just being a kid again. They had these cpvc pipe marshmallow guns that we shot each other with. I gave an 85 lb boy a piggyback ride and ran with him on my shoulders. No pain.

I have a terrible anal fissure from past abuses of my backside. It's been bleeding and painful for years. Nothing has helped, not even seeing a doctor.

Since I don't have to "push" (not nearly as much as before) to have a bowel movement I haven't had the excruciating crippling pain I've had in the past. I've lived with this life ruining pain for years. I never thought I would be free of it. Just treat the symptoms. But now it feels like it's beginning to heal.

I am sleeping so much deeper and better. My quality of sleep hasn't been this good in DECADES.

Now the negatives.

I have had a tremor that may be related to my alcohol use (no I'm not ready to stop yet i am working on cutting down here or there) and it's gotten worse with the enemas however it feels like it's a lot leaa scary. Like one day I will be healthy and not have them any more.

Headaches. I don't have them often but 2 or 3 times I had a pretty bad headache I felt was from the enemas. The headaches were uncomfortable but not terrible. I didn't need aspirin or anything.

I have read it depletes electrolytes so that's why I add salt. I also take vitamin supplements to replace any vitamins that may have been leached or washed away. I take acidophilus which helps a lot. I also take a fiber supplement.

As my stomach naturally shrinks, the acid has to go somewhere. So it decides to release itself WHILE I AM STUCK IN TRAFFIC!!!

It was NOT a fun experience! And it took a few trips to the loo to get the bile fully out.

It can be uncomfortable allowing a lot of liquid into your colon. When warm it's less of an issue, even wonderfully pleasant. Regulating the water influx is key. Click type regulators are awful. Get a roll type. Endure the discomfort, it will go away as it progresses. I am up to a full regular bag and keeping it in for a half hour or more. The pangs come and I just endure them. What i endured before the health benefits was far worse!!!

I consider the negatives to be a drop in the bucket when I compare the massive health benefits.

I recommend finding a confortable, safe place, use a towel for any leaks, get a good book or watch YouTube videos. I lay on my back. Right now my mate is laying next to me. I'm in my underwear and just socks, watching a video on solar power while writing this. I hope I don't need to spell out what i am doing right now haha.

Remember to shut the valve all the way off before removing the applicator or there can be a little leak. For people who are hard core about it they even make inflatable bulbs with tubes in them. One reviewer said he can get an entire gallon inside! They make inflatable ones they say are for enemas, even ones that vibrate (maybe to shake the stuff loose? Lol sounds like fun!) But they don't have a tube for the water.

If you're handy you may be able to put non collapsable tubing in after making a hole on the tip and a hole at the base (make sure the tube is recessed or it would really hurt going in) and sealing it up with red silicone (make sure the silicone says food safe!)

Have fun, relax. They say it can take years for constipation to "come out"... Some of the things I've seen... And smelled... Were black, and hard!

It's curious to know that while I have not eaten any solid food for 3 days there's hard stuff coming out! My mate says she's passing some very scary looking stuff. We're such nerds we show each other the stuff that comes out haha.

I know it's gross and taboo and weird, but sometimes ya just gotta get over it =) life is weird and strange and kinda gross at times. It does nobody any good to pretend otherwise. Embracing truth does good for ones soul.

As a final note, I recommend silicone non bpa enemy bags and tubes. You cam get them on ebay for 20 bucks. Boil your coffee to get rid of the acidity.

I am caffeine hyper sensitive but I don't get any anxiety in spite of the fact like 5 cups of coffee and a ton of water are going up in me. So don't worry about that too much. And when i drink coffee by mouth, it doesn't hit me as hard but it's still very enjoyable. I can do a coffee enema before bed and sleep great. If i drink even a sip of coffee even hours before sleeping i will not sleep all night. But somehow the enemas don't do that.

Sorry for the cringe but I'm carin less and less. I'm embracing my inner child more and more and not caring what people think about it. I'm not wearing a diaper or acting crazy or anything I am just letting go and caring less about what other people think. It is very freeing =)

Anyway i hope whoever reads this decides to give it a try. Most of us are in lockdown anyway. Why not give it a try? Be kind to your backside, let everything you do be done with caring, nurturing love for your body. It's working so hard to keep you safe. Practice positive self- talk. Stand in front of a mirror and say out loud the things you say to yourself. You may be shocked at how hard you are on yourself. Learn to treat yourself kindly. You are precious and unique and you're doing the best you can. You are doing just fine, you are not your depression! You are not your insecurities. You are just fine. Relax =)