I've probably gotten on a lot of people's bad sides lately. For some of you that I called my friends. To the one that mattered most to me. I am sorry I brought the worst in you out. A lot of it has to do with the difficult childhood I went through. From out of the gate my whole life was conflicting and it didn't help that my parents, despite their attempts to help, failed to understand what it was I am going through. Their failure to understand the anxiety I went through flowed into my daily life. First through subtle ways like mild moments of acting out to wild outbursts in some vain attempt to get someone to understand me. I have to come to terms with the past. and bury it. I am not the same person I was. And as nostalgic I am for the good days, I have to remind myself why they sucked. I have to move on. What that looks like I don't know. But I'm going to do it one day at a time. And if I should do it alone... then well. I'm going to have to come to terms with that as well.
I have to do what makes me happy, rather if people like it, accept it, or not.