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5 years ago
General
So I finished some owed arts, gonna do a little more on commissions, then u-turn to my trade. It's been on my mind as I'd been conceptualizing the point of the drawing for a while. I think I have a good idea for it. I may find time to sketch it later today, not sure. My hand is really pissed off at me from all the progress I've made over the last 3 days. But I'm trying to get everything done while I'm high on hypomania and while I have the time. If only I was ambidextrous, xD.
I still could use more commishes, but things are a lot better now. So I'm really not upset about Rocktober being rocked out. And I'm promised more once these are complete, which is part of the motivation. It's not so much that the slots are full, I don't really close off slots yet, not that popular xD, just that my client didn't want to pay that much at once. Which I totes get. Plus, I might have felt a little overwhelmed with 7 commissions owed to one person.
If not for Flickie's car wreck, this would be more than enough. but it certainly put us even. Flickie needs new brakes, a new tire and I need stuff too. I owe some money to my granny. She helped me out with some bills a few months back when we were down on our luck due to a second Covid quarantine. I didn't get my unemployment straight away so by the time I got it, we needed it for his wreck and other expenses. I'm about half paid up with her, and I think I can put another dent in my debt this month, gotta pay some bills first and see. She's being incredibly flexible with me.
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Working on some new OCs and Locke and f-Flickie's story. Kinda distracting from more important stories, but I'm intrigued by them, lol. Their story is a comedy, more of a comedy than a romcom, but hey, they're in love so... Y'know.
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My emotional status is all over the place. Some days I'm ready to end it all, some days I'm bouncy and happy. All days I've at least thought about ending it one way or another. I need a major change in my life. Looking at my employment. I'm not sure how just yet. I've applied at a few weed dispensaries, and asked HR at work about switching departments, and which one might be a better fit for someone like me, but no response from either. Work is slow with these kinds of things, and I -just- applied to the dispensaries, so I'm not too worried about that yet. I'm also keeping my eyes out on other places I think I could handle.
I also had my hearing 2 weeks ago for Disability. Obviously I hope for t he best, but this is my 3rd try at this. I hope in seeing that I try to work pt, they might be more willing to give me SOMETHING. Then, I could widen my search to lower paying jobs, and heighten my chances of leaving the pharmacy. Simply put, between my coworkers taking my call-offs personally and the pace of the job, and my hallucinations, bipolar, ptsd and adhd getting in the way, causing said call-offs, I can't do this anymore. It was easier before my old boss stepped down, but my new boss is kinda orchestrating hatred toward me because I have mental illnesses. So naturally it makes it all the more stressful. I'm terrified of having a nervous breakdown on the clock. Worried I'll either get hospitalized, fired, or both. Granted, sometimes I think I need to be hospitalized, but without Disability, that's not possible financially. I have to hope I don't do anything too crazy and just wear my dumbass out.
I still could use more commishes, but things are a lot better now. So I'm really not upset about Rocktober being rocked out. And I'm promised more once these are complete, which is part of the motivation. It's not so much that the slots are full, I don't really close off slots yet, not that popular xD, just that my client didn't want to pay that much at once. Which I totes get. Plus, I might have felt a little overwhelmed with 7 commissions owed to one person.
If not for Flickie's car wreck, this would be more than enough. but it certainly put us even. Flickie needs new brakes, a new tire and I need stuff too. I owe some money to my granny. She helped me out with some bills a few months back when we were down on our luck due to a second Covid quarantine. I didn't get my unemployment straight away so by the time I got it, we needed it for his wreck and other expenses. I'm about half paid up with her, and I think I can put another dent in my debt this month, gotta pay some bills first and see. She's being incredibly flexible with me.
-
Working on some new OCs and Locke and f-Flickie's story. Kinda distracting from more important stories, but I'm intrigued by them, lol. Their story is a comedy, more of a comedy than a romcom, but hey, they're in love so... Y'know.
-
My emotional status is all over the place. Some days I'm ready to end it all, some days I'm bouncy and happy. All days I've at least thought about ending it one way or another. I need a major change in my life. Looking at my employment. I'm not sure how just yet. I've applied at a few weed dispensaries, and asked HR at work about switching departments, and which one might be a better fit for someone like me, but no response from either. Work is slow with these kinds of things, and I -just- applied to the dispensaries, so I'm not too worried about that yet. I'm also keeping my eyes out on other places I think I could handle.
I also had my hearing 2 weeks ago for Disability. Obviously I hope for t he best, but this is my 3rd try at this. I hope in seeing that I try to work pt, they might be more willing to give me SOMETHING. Then, I could widen my search to lower paying jobs, and heighten my chances of leaving the pharmacy. Simply put, between my coworkers taking my call-offs personally and the pace of the job, and my hallucinations, bipolar, ptsd and adhd getting in the way, causing said call-offs, I can't do this anymore. It was easier before my old boss stepped down, but my new boss is kinda orchestrating hatred toward me because I have mental illnesses. So naturally it makes it all the more stressful. I'm terrified of having a nervous breakdown on the clock. Worried I'll either get hospitalized, fired, or both. Granted, sometimes I think I need to be hospitalized, but without Disability, that's not possible financially. I have to hope I don't do anything too crazy and just wear my dumbass out.
