FA+
Shop
Just a life update.
5 years ago
Thought to throw a little update, since I am at home after studying one year of intensive animation course in Canada.
First half of the year was absolutely great. I can definitely say, that it filled a lot of gaps in my knowledge, that were left behind by the previous school, especially working with such wonderful instructors. I've also tried to be brave and to fight my social phobia, socializing more with the people after four years break. I could definitely say, that for the first time in last years I was happy to do what I like and to study about that subject too. Since animation has been my passion for the last 8 years and I definitely wanted to work in that industry in the future.
It worth to mention, that in the beginning of previous summer I was stated with a diagnose of spinal disease (osteochondrosis), which under last 9 years was affecting my neck, spine, hands, throat and jaws, headaches, joints, you name it. My state was so bad and uncommon for 20yo individuum (probably bad genes and such..), that I was suggested to stay for a month long rehabillitation in my homeland and I also was strongly suggested to decrease any working in front of the computer (unless I have a proper work station, which costs money). But my family made a decision to switch rehabillitation to a medical treatment with pills, since I was already signed in for the animation course for the next student year and got approved for student loan too. I didn't fight back, since I was asure, that I will handle everything, I mean, how bad could it be, right?
This was a mistake, since half year into studies, once quarantine fell upon the Earth - everything I worked on started to fall apart. Multiple life events including isolation and aggravation of my disease have set in motion all those inner waters, that have been asleep for the half year, giving me full episodes of depression, which I didn't have for a long time. Being my whole life in low mood and carrying nickname of a pessimistic piece of shit, which definitely became a part of my personality (and I hate it), isolation and degradation of personal health hit me hard, considering me being away from my family for the first time, especially on another half of the planet. I've failed to get a diploma. I've failed to communicate and get to know people, both my classmates and instructors, and also ruined friendships, that I already had. I've failed to become something greater and I don't think I will ever have another chance for that, considering a huge loan on my back, that I will have to pay out god knows how, not being able to work in the field of my speciality, neither physically. I am just eternally sorry for taking place of someone else, who could use this year of study on its full potential.
I am very unsure of my future, for now my goal is to complete my To Do list until New Year, and maybe to take a break in drawing after that, since I no longer feel pleasure with anything I do. Maybe I shoulda try myself in a different media, or else. I wanted to visit therapists regarding my psychological state too, but I am no longer sure, that that will do anything, not mentioning, that I simple don't have that previledge to spend money on anything like that, because everything around my family is metaphorically fucking burning to the ground.
Thanks for reading, onward to creation!
First half of the year was absolutely great. I can definitely say, that it filled a lot of gaps in my knowledge, that were left behind by the previous school, especially working with such wonderful instructors. I've also tried to be brave and to fight my social phobia, socializing more with the people after four years break. I could definitely say, that for the first time in last years I was happy to do what I like and to study about that subject too. Since animation has been my passion for the last 8 years and I definitely wanted to work in that industry in the future.
It worth to mention, that in the beginning of previous summer I was stated with a diagnose of spinal disease (osteochondrosis), which under last 9 years was affecting my neck, spine, hands, throat and jaws, headaches, joints, you name it. My state was so bad and uncommon for 20yo individuum (probably bad genes and such..), that I was suggested to stay for a month long rehabillitation in my homeland and I also was strongly suggested to decrease any working in front of the computer (unless I have a proper work station, which costs money). But my family made a decision to switch rehabillitation to a medical treatment with pills, since I was already signed in for the animation course for the next student year and got approved for student loan too. I didn't fight back, since I was asure, that I will handle everything, I mean, how bad could it be, right?
This was a mistake, since half year into studies, once quarantine fell upon the Earth - everything I worked on started to fall apart. Multiple life events including isolation and aggravation of my disease have set in motion all those inner waters, that have been asleep for the half year, giving me full episodes of depression, which I didn't have for a long time. Being my whole life in low mood and carrying nickname of a pessimistic piece of shit, which definitely became a part of my personality (and I hate it), isolation and degradation of personal health hit me hard, considering me being away from my family for the first time, especially on another half of the planet. I've failed to get a diploma. I've failed to communicate and get to know people, both my classmates and instructors, and also ruined friendships, that I already had. I've failed to become something greater and I don't think I will ever have another chance for that, considering a huge loan on my back, that I will have to pay out god knows how, not being able to work in the field of my speciality, neither physically. I am just eternally sorry for taking place of someone else, who could use this year of study on its full potential.
I am very unsure of my future, for now my goal is to complete my To Do list until New Year, and maybe to take a break in drawing after that, since I no longer feel pleasure with anything I do. Maybe I shoulda try myself in a different media, or else. I wanted to visit therapists regarding my psychological state too, but I am no longer sure, that that will do anything, not mentioning, that I simple don't have that previledge to spend money on anything like that, because everything around my family is metaphorically fucking burning to the ground.
Thanks for reading, onward to creation!
I'm pretty sure that if you are able to take proper care of your health, you can get back to animation after all.
I'm currently back to studying at 24, and will be done with 25. (I did things in a weird order and worked at a studio before starting to go to school)
So it's definitely not an age/time problem.
Also, if the animation industry is your goal and not specifically being a 2D Artist in the Industry, there are jobs that are easier to learn and that are less taxing - it's how I got to work at that studio, by teaching myself 3D. There are tons of good quality free resources for that. Infact, a lot of my former co-workers were entirely self-taught and have never been to art school. There is also positions like Compositing, Editing, or if you can't do creative work at all, pipeliners and scripters, that are also directly involved with the production.
You've technically got your entire 20s to find a place in the industry, and there are a lot more options than is visible from the outside~
(Also as someone who used to suffer from a debilitating panic disorder, getting proper treatment is 100% worth it, after three years of therapy and medication I was able to fully recover.)
My main concern mostly is that in animation industry it's very common for animators (especially young ones) to highly overwork. It's something we've been told to be prepared for, and we felt a slice of that during studies too. Since my condition was ignored for half of my life, there are some aspects of it, that is impossible to heal for 100%, meaning, that I will have to adapt to consequences. What I am trying to say, that working as animator - is just the worst thing to do in my condition, which is ironic as hell. With that I am not a reliable worker either, and it's a trait, that every studio is craving.
I was studying 2D, I am mostly interested in classic frame by frame animation. which is the most time consuming and rare nowadays (but such movies as "Klaus" giving a hope for the bright future for this type of media). Not many studies are working in this stye anymore, mostly switching to rigged models in Harmony and similar programs, meaning, that in order to work in 2D frame by frame media will crave a lot of enthusiasm and energy, which is fare, but just not something I am able to give right now. I will keep seeking for solutions regardless.
Oh yeah, fixing psychological health is really important. I am not sure how much time might take mine, since it went sideways from early ages, but it's a nightmare to communicate and have consistent working schedule with this frame of mind I am happy to hear, that you was able to fully recover! Panic disorder is a nasty stuff
In my personal experience, when working on feature films I generally got to work a 9-5 job without overtime just because the deadline was so far away. I've work on three animated feature films so far, on the last one I was 3D Camera lead, I developed the workflow to make the 3D Cameras for the project and coded the tools the other artists would use and then coordinated those artists - The people who were simultaneously working on Advertisements were the ones who worked overtime every single day, when the feature film people left on time basically the whole year.
I bet when you work at the big studios there is a lot more pressure, but I don't have to work on the coolest projects to have fun in the job~
And don't get me started on Klaus, that movie is revolutionary!! I have to bite my tongue or this comment will be a 20 page analysis of what the future of animation could be due to that movie.
Best of luck!
But I am slowly trying to fix this mess, thank you so much!