Oh gosh. I have never used Reddit and have always found forum websites confusing and difficult to use (for me personally I mean, I know most people are fine lol) but I will give it a shot!

Thank you!!!

Ouuuu Thank you for the link to R/ NonBinary! as a fellow NonBinary person I didn't even think to check reddit. Wow.

While I haven't had my top surgery yet, I did get the ball rolling before the pandemic started as far as looking into insurance coverage and requirements. I'm a Trans NB person, also fat and disabled!

I have Medicaid (United Healthcare is my provider) and apparently they are very good about Trans Health and paying for surgeries. I've had a hysterectomy that was covered in full, so that much I can attest to being true on their part.

For me, it was rec'd by my primary care physician that before I get top surgery that there were some qualifiers. I needed to be talking to a gender specialized therapist (the therapist IS Trans too!) for at least six months to get a letter of recommendation. Some insurances require a couple of letters that "prove" this isn't just cosmetic and that it's for health and gender affirming.

I was told I would need to lose a "small" amount of weight just as a precaution for surgery complications but otherwise they would give me more information at the consultation for surgery. I was also told that depending on how much breast tissue I have, that they may not be able to do the full mastectomy and instead do 1 to 2 reductions and THEN do the mastectomy and contouring. It could be a lengthy process, but having all your ducks in a row could help speed things up a bit. I definitely think if you're able to, that you should call your insurance provider and ask a few questions about gender affirming surgeries, coverage, and what is required. Sometimes the people are super good about answering that stuff!

Hope its helpful!

Very helpful! Oh gosh I want a hysterectomy too, health reasons as well as gender. I have an ultrasound soon so they can actually look at that crap and SEE what is wrong with it lol.

Anyway yeaaaaah I'm hoping no one asks weight loss of me because lol I literally already exercise as much as I can which is basically just, living life is exercise, and I struggle to eat enough food and have anorexia soooooo thats not gonna happennnnn.

But, idk, I have found providers here to be more understanding of my situation. I live in MN now. Which is where I grew up but not where I became disabled and first started dealing with a LOT of doctors.

May I ask how the hysterectomy was? Did you leave ovaries or take everything and what was the healing like?

When they do your ultrasound be sure to ask questions about how things are looking! I found that during an emergency trip when I had one done that they were seeing a lot more than what my shitty doctors had. They can/will complain about not being able to see through the fat but if things are abnormal, it shows.

Oh my god, that sounds like A LOT! Can relate immensely with the struggling to eat enough and the weight loss, oi. *sends hugs* I would also suggest finding a fat friendly eating therapist or nutritionist to talk to, it might be good to get a letter from them stating that you have a diagnosed eating disorder and weight loss is complicated because of this. That way you can put the kabash down before they even try to breathe the "you should lose weight" sentence.

To be honest, moving has definitely made a HUGE difference in my healthcare (and getting insured haha)! I'm not familiar with MN providers, but if they've been understanding thus far, it sounds like you'll have some good luck. If they need medical records from other doctors across state lines, you or the provider can request it.

Absolutely! Its been two years since I've had mine and still haven't had any major issues. I ended up getting it done after bleeding for six months straight, going to the ER multiple times, and being in constant pain. Dr. Anita Somani was both my surgeon and doctor, and she was extremely understanding. Zero Judgement.

They took my uterus and tubes, but left the ovaries because the doctor was concerned about messing up my heart and bones because of my age. She said once I hit the good old menopause she will gladly come back and yank them out lol. I had endo/fibroids/PCOS so not only did I have the hysterectomy but I had ovarian drilling done. So it was pretty much a black friday blowout on my junk.

It was all done laparoscopic and took about two hours max. The scars are minimal (if you're worried about scarring) since they go through your navel and make two small incisions on your lower stomach. The WORST part was the pre-surgery prep because you have to take a whole bunch of laxatives and go on a liquid diet for two days.

Your anus will be in flames.

Post-op was surprisingly not too bad? I've had several surgeries and this was the least painful one to me! You stay in the hospital overnight and get discharged the next afternoon barring any complications. I was up and walking around like four hours after, but it was the "I just had surgery and a catheter taken out" walk lol. One thing that was really awesome was the pain management robot that you get to wear in a fanny pack and take home with you! Its called the On-Q - https://www.myon-q.com/on-q-pump/ and basically its your best buddy for like four days.

I took two weeks off work and was back to work on restrictions after! No lifting, squatting (you never realize how much you squat), no penetrative sex for like three months (or until the stitches dissolve). Honestly, it did kinda scare me when the stitches came out because there was blood and I thought something ripped, but after a little piece came out on the toilet paper I was like OH OKAY GOOD. Your doctor will usually check at your post-op appointment two weeks after to make sure everything is healed up nicely. If there's any little stitch bits in there, they might take it out just because it can be uncomfortable.

Things I've experienced after healing that have been an adjustment are refinding my g-spot (weird as that sounds), vaginal dryness, and the occasional phantom cramping because the ovaries are still in there. Also, because the cervix gets taken, you have a second "bellybutton" but in your vag! Its a little weird at first but I've gotten used to it lololol~

Hope this wasn't too gross!

wasn't too gross at all! VERY HELPFUL!!!

And my eating disorder is WELL documented as well as the digestive issues that make it hard for me to eat enough. Which has usually been enough to shut down that weight loss crap because like, I LITERALLY can't do anything about it X_X;;;

and it sounds like where they go in at least would be similar to when I got my tubes ligated. (cut and burned instead of tied basically) which was. god so long ago now X_X;;

I will be really interested to see what they find with my ultrasound next week...

Anyway!

Thank you so so much for sharing all this with me! Its been SO helpful and I SO appreciate.

also trans nonbinary fat and disabled fist bump

YAY HELPFUL!!!

That's good that you've got a lot of documentation! That should be more than enough to not even broach the topic and it'll probably be noted at your pre-op appointment. Its just a general blood test, pregnancy test, and screening like a week before.

I did not know that was a thing they could do. I feel LIED to but, LOL JUST PROVES THOSE DOCTORS WERE SHIT. But yeah, the only time the incision for the laparoscope where more prominent and bigger was when I had the LAP band put in/taken out. Ugh. Nightmarish.

I hope everything goes well for you and you can get answers! One step closer to the goal!

And you're so welcome! Feel free to shoot me a message if you want to know more about anything, I'm happy to answer as best as I can.

FISTBUMP

Again thank you so so much again. You really did help a lot and I absolutely will contact you if I have more questions. <3<3<3

Just gonna pop in here as well as a trans nonbinary person with pcos wanting to get a hysto - THANK YOU for sharing this! Also the stuff about the reduction and then removal makes me feel so much better. I had a reduction about 6 years ago because of health reasons but I really wanted them gone but insurance wouldn't cover that. But it sounds like they might have needed to do a few surgeries anyway because of how massive I was.

ANYWAY good luck to you, SH, and thank you SP for sharing <3

SOLIDARITY THREAD! <3

I'm glad that my experience is helpful to others! Honestly, if you have any questions too just hit me up on IG.

I'm still a little bit unfamiliar with what it means to be nonbinary/nongender so maybe you can help me learn a bit. I was under the impression that a nonbinary/nongender person would have a sort of "it is what it is" view about one's bodily sex characteristics and be kind of indifferent to what's physically there. But in your desire to get top surgery, that seems to not be the case. Does it just vary from one person to the next about what physical traits they're comfortable having?

I would suggest checking out the suggested resources above, I don't have the energy to educate you. I will say as a general answer to your question that nonbinary is an umbrella term for a lot of different experiences of not being a binary gender. Some people don't care about their bodies, some like their bodies as is, and some people desire transition in the form of hormones or surgery. And all those experiences are nonbinary, its a broad term like queer is a broad term.

Seconding what SH said about using resources linked above as well as doing some cursory googling. I am also nonbinary and experience dysphoria. There are also both binary and nonbinary trans people who do not experience dysphoria or feel a need to change their bodies to fit society's definition of male/female/other. I would say, however, that it is more uncommon for nonbinary people to feel that 'it is what it is'. You're far more likely to run into someone who is looking to alter their outward or internal appearance either through non-permanent or permanent procedures.

Thank you for the info. The reason I ask questions directly to people rather than googling is because their own answers from firsthand experience and perception is often more helpful, plus they are much more likely to understand specifically what I'm asking as compared to a search engine. Whenever it comes to something specific on any topic, search engines never seem to quite *get* what I'm asking for.

I don't have anything to offer for you questions, but I'm happy for you taking these steps to living true to yourself and wishing you all the best on your journey to getting the treatment you need

unfortunately ive had only one friend and shes had the works. she went from male to female, both below and i think on top but she was a lanky little thing. so i dont know if she would be any help. if you do want to talk to her, ill ask if its ok to give you her info in a note to contact with. :)

My boyfriend and I had top surgery a few days apart from each other, before we moved in together. He and I are both nonbinary and he is fat and disabled, and we both had really - really- large chests prior to surgery. However, since we also identify as FTM in addition to nonbinary that's the route we took to get surgery.

Anecdotally I'd say try to find a physical medical reason to argue for top surgery in addition to your desire to transition as an FTN individual -- it helped me A TON to argue, for example, that I couldn't bind safely for long periods because of my chest size, and had a history of breast cancer in one side of my family. It's fucking bullshit that we gotta go through """"More valid"""" reasons to transition in the eyes of cisnormative society but : - ) it helped me a ton.

Also -- my partner went to a trans specialist and had a much easier time, and was on medicaid...and he lived a little over an hour from NYC at the time of his surgery. I was on blue cross blue shield and had to stay local, so I went with a surgeon in a nearby city who specialized in breast cancer related surgeries but also performed FTN and FTM top surgeries. Getting a solid date nailed down with her office was TOUGH, and my insurance fought me the whole time too, but bf had a wayyyyy easier time.

Healing wise, I know many people who have had both FTM top surgery and various bottom surgery procedures (primarily hystorectomies). The general consensus I've heard is that top surgery is WAY easier than bottom surgery. It a long healing time, but the pain is manageable and the hardest part is just not being able to do certain movements. Drawing after top surgery is definitely doable but you have to use your forearm and hands more, and not draw with your shoulder involved in the motion. So....no large paintings, lol.

The other hardest part for me was having someone to help me early on when I needed help with basic hygiene. My girlfriend is disabled so I stayed with someone else who was very helpful, so that's something to plan around because you will need assistance afterwards, to some degree.

I hope that helps!!! ;w; feel free to pm me with any questions if you need specific info.

this is ENORMOUSLY helpful! I do have issues with pain in my breasts. Plus they were made larger by birth control, which was basically a body modification I was not aware would happen and did not ask for, and I am SO gonna talk about that. Even if I can't get it covered by insurance, I have enough support from the people who help me that I should be able to still get it, but hopefully we can go through insurance X_X

I'm used to being limited in what I can do. It'll be annoyed to be MORE limited again, but we are already well set up to take care of me if I'm incapacitated. I need a lot of help as is!

as for the hysterectomies - the people you know, what was their healing like with that? That hopefully will be a thing for me too, I'm getting an ultrasound next week to see exactly wtf is wrong in there, if they can see anything at all, but its something I'm considering. I'm running out of options to manage my issues with it.

Anyway thank you so so so much for sharing all of this! It absolutely helpsss!!! <3<3<3!!!!!!

A lot depends, hysto wise, on if you have any health issues already going on with your reproductive organs and if you are planning future modification such as hormonal therapy or other bottom surgeries. You will need to take some hormones of some sort, probably, to maintain bone density and regulate other functions that hormones produced in that part of the body help to take care of. I've had friends have it and be very happy they did, but I will say that while I know no one that has regrets about their top surgery, I do know people that have had regrets following hystorectomies since it can really impact so much of your body's functions in ways that you might not expect.

This is going to sound REALLY WEIRD and bad but doctors are less likely to be honest about potential complications of hystorectomies if you are trans, so make sure to have a list of questions ready about what the effects of the procedure will be on your body in the long term and if you will need to take any supplements, hormones, or medications afterwards. For what it's worth everyone I know that has had any regrets just wished they had more information to make a decision about what to do with their bodies.

I hope that helps!!! And I'm so glad you have a support system to help you with your medical transition!!!

Oh gosh I know its serious - and thank you for sharing about it! It's been a big part of the conversation that hysterectomy comes with complications.

The hysterectomy is actually related to health problems at this point. If my shit worked right, I wouldn't really care - I've had my tubes tied so I can't get pregnant.

But I have a lot of problems related to hormones and my shit doesn't function right and I have pcos and possibly worse going on we are getting an ultrasound for me this week...

And I'm gonna be asking as many questions as I can about my options.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share so much information!!

no problem <3 ;w; if you have any further questions or want to ask about info you hear at a later time, hit me up!! ;w;

Went through something similar. I ended up having a hysterectomy and double oophorectomy because nothing was working right (endometriosis, fibroids, PCOS, uncontrollable bleeding, anemia, constant pain), and I had to fight my doctor for years to have everything removed (kept saying I was "too young"). Generally, if your ovaries are healthy, they'll want to leave them in. Mine were emphatically not, so they're gone.

I have strong suspicions I may be intersex, because I've tried both estrogen and testosterone HRT, and my body reacts to both a little bit oddly. It was also really clear after a few months on estrogen post-hysterectomy that I didn't get a full version of puberty in my teens, but estrogen HRT didn't stop me from experiencing menopause symptoms and caused me dysphoria! I like testosterone better, but I'm one of the rare people that it causes an overproduction of cerebrospinal fluid in! Which my eye doctor discovered, because it was slowly crushing my optic nerves.

I'm on a separate medication now to mitigate THAT side effect, and that's under control now. But yeah, bodies are weird. I have zero regrets about the hysterectomy. I go back and forth on top surgery, though. Sometimes my chest bothers me, and sometimes it doesn't. Finding a doctor who has consistently good results, is trans-friendly, and doesn't fat-shame is definitely something of a miracle for a lot of folks.

My girlfriend is intersex and has only been on estrogen, but she's had some good results with it. She sort of started puberty on her own, but never really finished it fully and estrogen's helped that happen.

As for the cerebospinal fluid -- I have a friend who has similar chronic troubles with that for different reasons and actually can't take testosterone in part because of that! It sounds really tough to manage. Have you been able to find a way to manage the symptoms? I hope you don't mind my asking, since I don't know you -- and feel free to not respond, that's ok! Said friend is also fat and disabled and wants top surgery but his insurance is local only and won't let you get "non-essential" surgeries unless you don't qualify as obese...his mother's on the same insurance and needs a knee replacement and they won't operate on her because she's still walking and counts as obese. It's total bullshit....

I don't mind! So my eye doctor and my neurologist both tried putting me on diuretics first, but they were awful. I ended up with peripheral neuropathy (pins and needles and tingles) in my face and extremities and horrible tinnitus, and it didn't actually reduce the swelling issues in my eyes. My neurologist switched me to a migraine drug called topomax (generic is topiramate), and that's worked fine for me. It also has some potential side effects that I've had to watch for, and you can't drink alcohol at all when you're on it (not an issue for me) but my follow up tests since then have been great. Oh, and because it suppresses appetite, I've dropped about 30lbs since I started taking it, which I'm also fine with. c.c;

They put me through a whole bunch of tests including an MRI and a spinal tap to rule out anything like a tumor or an infection. Everything came back clear, so the only thing that could be causing the over-pressure was the testosterone. But between scaling back my dosage a bit (I don't have ovaries anymore, so nothing to suppress) and the topiramate, things seem to be under control now.

My friend actually did have a tumor causing his neuropathy so idk if testosterone would be an option period, even though it's been removed.....but this is really helpful and I'll pass it along to him! Thanks for sharing your experiences and I'm glad you're doing okay now!

Depending on where you live (maybe?), if you're over 200 Ilbs, you'll be rejected for the surgery, due to "health risks". I was rejected for this reason, so I gave up. Best to check with the doctor you plan to talk to. Tbh, I was and still am downright pissed about it.

I'm so sorry! I have heard of that being a barrier with some surgeons but not all. I have had decent experiences with doctors in my state about leaving my weight alone so, hopefully I won't have too much issue. But I'm still so sorry :C

adding my two cents here -- this does seem to depend on state and insurance. Finding a medical reason beyond transition goals, again, will help you further advocate if any doctors do give you issues about weight.

It's awesome your doctor is being supportive! Hopefully insurance will be, too.

By far, the biggest risk is the anesthesia — if you have (or suspect you might have) a condition like sleep apnea, talk to your doctor about ways to mitigate or prep for it during surgery. Complications are luckily very rare, but I've had a loss in my family from anesthesia so it's best to be careful!


Also, heck yeah for looking out for your mental health. CFS is tough and I'm glad you found the energy to go to your doctor about this. :)

I’ve had top surgery as a trans male. I live in California, so it’s a bit easier here to get it done. Have you contacted your local LGBT resource center?
It’s also often a matter of insurance. You need to see if they will cover it, and if they won’t, you’ll have to find out how much it costs out of pocket. There is a non profit called Point of Pride (I’ve seen them on Facebook), they will help some trans folks with surgery costs and offer free binders. I know I’m super late seeing this. Hope it helps.