I never thought that I would identify so intimately with a character from a film released in 1946. *It’s a Wonderful Life*, specifically. The story of a man who comes to resent the setbacks in his life so much that he wishes he was never born, and attempts to kill himself. I’ve never discussed at length that I’ve had my own thoughts about suicide in the past, but never followed them. They’ve always smoldered in the depths of my mind, burning hot when certain things happened to make me wish I never lived. While others around me found their own successes, I, much like the film’s main character, George Bailey, looked at my own life with doubt. Suffice it to say, that the events of the film greatly resonated with my own experiences, and gave me pause.

This reached a peak during the film’s climax when George attempts suicide by jumping off a bridge, but is stopped by his guardian angel, Clarence. Fervently wishing that nothing ever came to pass, he soon witnesses how horrible things would have been if he never existed. The people he loved and cherished, whose lives he had touch in positive ways, all would be reduced to darkness. He begs to God for forgiveness.

“Let me live again. Please, God. Let me live again.”

When he returns, seeing things as they once were, he runs manic with joy through Bedford Falls, overwhelmed by his glee. He soon realizes that everyone in town was ready to help him with his debt, thereby saving his family and business. As the film closed, Clarence’s final words to George struck my heart as strongly as a hammer.

“No man is a failure who has friends.”

I cried. I cried harder than I have in a long time, because I too lost sight of my own life, and all its blessings. I will not forsake that, nor the people I love. I won’t.

To all those who struggle with doubt, and those dear to me. Life is worth living. In spite of its obstacles. The world will be lesser without you.

Walk always beneath the light of the moon, and be safe and joyous this holiday and all days to come.

JC