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A new journey begins
4 years ago
And now, another addition of what is in Malec's head...
A good measure of events in my life has occurred since last i have been on here. I had a boyfriend (Bemani Tiger), whom I moved to GA. for. I eventually realized that he would just refuse to claim me publicly and I'd only ever be referred to as a significant friend, or "the roommate". He ultimately broke my heart over Telegram while I was in a meeting with my director, of which went really badly and is thought to have affected my lack of promotion in that year. Lot's can be said about him, I'll just say that he is a big fake and values his appearances in the fandom rather than his own well being and health. I have pictures of what's left of my car and of the outcome of not sleeping for three days at a con. He rushed home to make it work and wrecked it. He is also a big kid, and i do not mean in the romantic sense; I mean in the bratty sense. My first job in GA. ended when I quit in 2019 (5 months) after I found a better place to be. After crying for a good measure of time I was healed and found Koa.
I found Koa on Twitter. Koa and I were casual for a bit and decided to give boyfriends a shot. We met in January. I must admit now that our signs (Him: Air, Me: water) suggested that in the end that this would have happened anyhow, if ever a relationship could exist between two warring signs. We moved together in April and were fine (at least i thought) for a while. COVID was in full swing and i was furloughed from my job. I was in disaster avoidance mode and had to drive Uber to cover my bills and keep us from starving. Koa decided to carry on as if nothing was amiss and was happy to do so as he didn't lose his job and became stingy with his money when i asked for a little help here and there. There were other warning signs of disinterest and materialism as well. He was always on his phone and was always talking to someone in the other room or was putting his air-pods in his damn ear to ignore me. He wouldn't associate me with his family even though we were together a good bit. One day in July a puppy named Zak started talking to me on Howlr. He at first was obnoxious and kept trying to get in my pants, playfully telling me that "it's going to happen dragon". He drifted in and out of my Telegram since then. One day he really needed my Virgo talents and spoke to me for three weeks straight. He needed a friend that wasn't interested (at first anyhow) in intimacy with him. I really got to know him much more and realized he wasn't this slut that I had passed on as friends and written off as not worth my time. After he had dealt with his issues (and then some), Koa and I asked him over on a date. That date ended in a night of passion, of which I mounted him instead. A fact I still remind him of weekly. Koa Zak and I formed a poly. It was actually quite stable. we were happy for 3.5 months till we noticed the disinterest in Koa. and i noticed the pattern from before Zak had came into the picture. He had the classic 25 signs of disinterest. We confronted him 4 times in 6 weeks and nothing got better. He only spent time with us out of guilt and the need to keep his status as "roommate". He contracted the strong form of Chlamydia "somehow", and still to this day would never tell us how. I searched Koa's phone to find out who it was and what I found was way worse. Koa had been cheating on me and then also Zak afterwards for at that time 8 months. There is no forgiveness for cheating in my book of books. He was kicked out of the house and when he refused violently, the cops helped me.
Zak and I were deeply in love and falling harder daily. We decided to keep intact what was left of the poly. We did however close things tightly. We got stranger and happier by the day and out lives were brighter and more serene than they had ever been before. I met his folks as the "very good friend" fact that his mother saw right through. Zak also met my folks a few weeks later. Zak and I rededicated our lives to each other recently and collared each other as domestics. In the same emotional moment, he proposed to me instead. I guess it is fitting as i am the one that proposed to him to be my domestic partner with a poem.
I am looking forward to the rest of my life with my Zakkie. I still don't know how i deserved to find him nor how we fit so well together, but i will spend the rest of my life understanding it. He is my heart and I am his light in the darkness.
I found Koa on Twitter. Koa and I were casual for a bit and decided to give boyfriends a shot. We met in January. I must admit now that our signs (Him: Air, Me: water) suggested that in the end that this would have happened anyhow, if ever a relationship could exist between two warring signs. We moved together in April and were fine (at least i thought) for a while. COVID was in full swing and i was furloughed from my job. I was in disaster avoidance mode and had to drive Uber to cover my bills and keep us from starving. Koa decided to carry on as if nothing was amiss and was happy to do so as he didn't lose his job and became stingy with his money when i asked for a little help here and there. There were other warning signs of disinterest and materialism as well. He was always on his phone and was always talking to someone in the other room or was putting his air-pods in his damn ear to ignore me. He wouldn't associate me with his family even though we were together a good bit. One day in July a puppy named Zak started talking to me on Howlr. He at first was obnoxious and kept trying to get in my pants, playfully telling me that "it's going to happen dragon". He drifted in and out of my Telegram since then. One day he really needed my Virgo talents and spoke to me for three weeks straight. He needed a friend that wasn't interested (at first anyhow) in intimacy with him. I really got to know him much more and realized he wasn't this slut that I had passed on as friends and written off as not worth my time. After he had dealt with his issues (and then some), Koa and I asked him over on a date. That date ended in a night of passion, of which I mounted him instead. A fact I still remind him of weekly. Koa Zak and I formed a poly. It was actually quite stable. we were happy for 3.5 months till we noticed the disinterest in Koa. and i noticed the pattern from before Zak had came into the picture. He had the classic 25 signs of disinterest. We confronted him 4 times in 6 weeks and nothing got better. He only spent time with us out of guilt and the need to keep his status as "roommate". He contracted the strong form of Chlamydia "somehow", and still to this day would never tell us how. I searched Koa's phone to find out who it was and what I found was way worse. Koa had been cheating on me and then also Zak afterwards for at that time 8 months. There is no forgiveness for cheating in my book of books. He was kicked out of the house and when he refused violently, the cops helped me.
Zak and I were deeply in love and falling harder daily. We decided to keep intact what was left of the poly. We did however close things tightly. We got stranger and happier by the day and out lives were brighter and more serene than they had ever been before. I met his folks as the "very good friend" fact that his mother saw right through. Zak also met my folks a few weeks later. Zak and I rededicated our lives to each other recently and collared each other as domestics. In the same emotional moment, he proposed to me instead. I guess it is fitting as i am the one that proposed to him to be my domestic partner with a poem.
I am looking forward to the rest of my life with my Zakkie. I still don't know how i deserved to find him nor how we fit so well together, but i will spend the rest of my life understanding it. He is my heart and I am his light in the darkness.
