Life has been so hard and so cruel this last year. We've lost so much, given up so much, and now all of our goals and dreams are unachievable.

Our fiance left us, our boyfriend told us he didn't love us after we moved in with him, and now just... so aimless. Have no goals, no plans, no backup solutions.

We've strained friendships, lashed out at our friends, pushed people away and burned bridges.

We're so sincerely trying to fix our life, but every avenue leads to the same ends. The people we love stop loving us, our living situation goes to shit, and our mental health degrades further and further.

It feels as if we've genuinely been abandoned by our god, that his plan for us now is to make us suffer as much as humanly possible for as long as possible, give us a false hope, then dash it away.

If the US Government hadn't failed us so hard, if we had been approved for Disability in a timely manner, if we had found housing back where we were, things would be so different than they are now. But that's not how this world works. It strings you along for just long enough to start regaining hope, then cuts the rope, leaving you at a dead end and nowhere to turn to.

You try to better yourself, to improve on your weaknesses, to reach out for the professional help you need, but life doesn't let you do those things. It continually forces you into situations where it exploits your weaknesses, to have to focus so much on baseline survival that you can't better yourself, and takes away any help you were trying to get.

We genuinely did everything we could to make this work, but in reality we are not a functioning person. We barely function, cobbled together from the shattered remains of our psyche, doing our best but that best isn't good enough. We keep making mistakes, and even if we learn from them, life will find new ways to trip us up, so we're in a perpetual motion of stumbling and falling down.

Life has beaten us to a bloody pulp, over and over, and doesn't give us time to heal from those wounds. Most people tell us that our life isn't that bad, but when we explain the cycle of what happens, they don't believe us. Some people just have bad lives, or unnaturally bad luck.

We want our life to be better. We strive for improvement in every aspect. We try to put on a happy face and tackle most days like it'll be the day things finally, FINALLY start to improve. Those improvements never last.

We're in constant agonizing pain, both physically and mentally. We can't hide our grief anymore. We're falling apart, and don't know how many more times we can try to fix ourselves.

To the friends that still stand with us, to the ones who don't give up on us, the ones encouraging us to get up; We can't express the amount of gratitude we have for you. Even if it doesn't seem like it, you help us so much. You have the power to turn an abysmal day into an okay one. You are all so amazing, and we truly wish that one day, we can show you all the hard work we've put into bettering ourselves, and that you'll SEE how far we've come from where we started. Maybe someday, our luck will turn around.