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Life Update
4 years ago
✧⋆,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°✧ ♡ ✧°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸⋆✧ So, as all can see I haven't been active lately...
Well, lots of rl stuff has happened.
I started therapy after not having it for 2+ years due to my anxiety getting worse.
It has been helping but its been a rollercoaster.
While doing this therapy, I met with a psychiatrist and got a medication to assist with my anxiety and my depression.
That medicine ended up reacting poorly with me, causing me to have violent outbursts, actions, and thoughts which had me going to the ER.
Thankfully my doctor at the ER was understanding and wonderfully, talking to me and telling me it wasn't my fault, to not feel guilty, etc... while assuring me I was doing the right thing.
So I got off of the medicine but still dealing with lingering effects. Fun times!
Then, if that wasn't enough, we learned my grandpa took a sudden turn for the worse and was put on end care. We made a sudden unplanned trip to go up and say goodbye as he rested at my aunt's. Halfway up there, my aunt called and told me he had passed. And this was the day after the ER, so not in the greatest headapace.
This has sent me spiraling in a dark mental and emotional pit. I didn't get to say goodbye to him or my grandmother and he was my last grandparent. I haven't been able to get over the guilt even though I am well aware he would never blame me for it.
And then I have been feeling guilty for how I acted on the medication and then my lack of productivity in completing owed work.
I am going to try and do some art later today. But not sure how much I can do.
Trying to find positives right now but struggling.
mortemluget
~mortemluget
I'm just an internet rando, but I can relate. Mental health is a long struggle figuring out what works and keeping it up. Feeling out of control is terrifying. And it's hard not to shame ourselves sometimes, even when we know it doesn't make any sense. We do the best we can with where we're at at any given time; that varies, but there are good pieces. Keep doing yours <3
