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Another Year, Another Reflection
4 years ago
FIDUS ET AUDAX
I suppose COVID-19 can be thanked for further reflections on my own social inadequacies. Fortunately, some things have changed, though not necessarily for the better as I will explain later. For now though, I can rest easy knowing that there are other furries in my general vicinity back home who feel much the same way regarding their relationship with the Fandom as a whole.
The knee-jerk reaction to Strype's transgender reveal has long subsided since my last post on the matter. Again, I'm fairly certain that it came down to me having never actually interacted with her outside of an online business transaction. Whether of not I will resume pursuing commission requests from her is a question of availability at this point. Alas, since she is now only accepting commissions via Twitter - a social media platform I have no interest in joining for reasons unrelated - and has been rather inactive here on FA, I'm left with little choice but to stick to my principles and simply say "Farewell, and thanks for the art!" for now.
As a bit of a side note, my previous journal on the matter earned me accusations of dogwhistling, gaslighting, and being transphobic over on FLO a few months back. I don't take such accusations lightly, especially as one of my own worst critics, but I'm left wondering where on Earth these people were when that journal was posted in early January of last year.
Probably too focused on whatever shenanigans that NegativeTheory was stirring at the time, I'd wager, given the one or two scathing comments regarding how much of a thorn he was in Strype's side over it.
That was a major factor as to why I didn't bring this issue up with Strype at the time - why I still haven't - and one that I regret not communicating in the journal and in the subsequent commentary. As a result, I got raked over the coals for it. Similarly, poor communication on my part also led to one other detail unspoken for too long: the issue wasn't inherently that Strype came out as a trans woman - that much I've been able to take in stride with others before and after without much thought - but rather that I didn't take her for the kind of person that would need to specify which pronouns she preferred as someone who is transitioning into a woman.
Was it a petty reason to get riled up in the end? Yes. Was my reaction without precedent? Perhaps, having only been soured on too many anecdotal horror stories of self-important assholes making a big deal out of it themselves (I personally wouldn't characterize Strype as being that kind of a person, though then again I don't really know her).
To sum it up, if there's any 'sins' here that need reflection, as more than a few other responses demanded, it's that communication can't be implicitly trusted to the interpretation of others, not least of all on a sensitive subject matter you're trying your best to explain delicately. A failure to communicate on the Internet is visibly indistinguishable from being an arrogant ass if you're not careful, and I've already been bitten in the ass over it while doing my best to be diplomatic about it.
As for Tanner... I'm not holding out for a response from him anymore. Between being ghosted for unexplained reasons and eventually being blocked on his fursona's Facebook page in early 2020, I feel like I'm better off believing that he's a dead man walking until he either reaches out to me in earnest or turns up as a corpse with an obituary to go along with it, and with the general state of Seattle these days I have reason to believe that the latter is more likely.
Tanner, if under the most unlikely circumstance you do end up reading this, please understand that I would rather see this friendship of ours end amicably as opposed to the current state of affairs. I don't know what happened to the guy I considered to be a friend, and I would most certainly like to know, but this "smoke and mirrors" crap has to end, and you are not proving yourself easy to find closure with.
The knee-jerk reaction to Strype's transgender reveal has long subsided since my last post on the matter. Again, I'm fairly certain that it came down to me having never actually interacted with her outside of an online business transaction. Whether of not I will resume pursuing commission requests from her is a question of availability at this point. Alas, since she is now only accepting commissions via Twitter - a social media platform I have no interest in joining for reasons unrelated - and has been rather inactive here on FA, I'm left with little choice but to stick to my principles and simply say "Farewell, and thanks for the art!" for now.
As a bit of a side note, my previous journal on the matter earned me accusations of dogwhistling, gaslighting, and being transphobic over on FLO a few months back. I don't take such accusations lightly, especially as one of my own worst critics, but I'm left wondering where on Earth these people were when that journal was posted in early January of last year.
Probably too focused on whatever shenanigans that NegativeTheory was stirring at the time, I'd wager, given the one or two scathing comments regarding how much of a thorn he was in Strype's side over it.
That was a major factor as to why I didn't bring this issue up with Strype at the time - why I still haven't - and one that I regret not communicating in the journal and in the subsequent commentary. As a result, I got raked over the coals for it. Similarly, poor communication on my part also led to one other detail unspoken for too long: the issue wasn't inherently that Strype came out as a trans woman - that much I've been able to take in stride with others before and after without much thought - but rather that I didn't take her for the kind of person that would need to specify which pronouns she preferred as someone who is transitioning into a woman.
Was it a petty reason to get riled up in the end? Yes. Was my reaction without precedent? Perhaps, having only been soured on too many anecdotal horror stories of self-important assholes making a big deal out of it themselves (I personally wouldn't characterize Strype as being that kind of a person, though then again I don't really know her).
To sum it up, if there's any 'sins' here that need reflection, as more than a few other responses demanded, it's that communication can't be implicitly trusted to the interpretation of others, not least of all on a sensitive subject matter you're trying your best to explain delicately. A failure to communicate on the Internet is visibly indistinguishable from being an arrogant ass if you're not careful, and I've already been bitten in the ass over it while doing my best to be diplomatic about it.
As for Tanner... I'm not holding out for a response from him anymore. Between being ghosted for unexplained reasons and eventually being blocked on his fursona's Facebook page in early 2020, I feel like I'm better off believing that he's a dead man walking until he either reaches out to me in earnest or turns up as a corpse with an obituary to go along with it, and with the general state of Seattle these days I have reason to believe that the latter is more likely.
Tanner, if under the most unlikely circumstance you do end up reading this, please understand that I would rather see this friendship of ours end amicably as opposed to the current state of affairs. I don't know what happened to the guy I considered to be a friend, and I would most certainly like to know, but this "smoke and mirrors" crap has to end, and you are not proving yourself easy to find closure with.
