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Lets talk about it~
4 years ago
Its been a wile, but i got to experience something quite odd. Something that i thought is gone in the world, as i never really saw it much or delt with on a day to day basis. But thanks to the magic of World of Warcraft and some random guild, it became something i was damn near confronted with. And that thing is: Toxic masculinity.
Almost everyone i have talked with, chatted with, or even befriended for an extended period of time was never even close to it. Even being in the fandom itself! Being the nomad i am, i have got to live in quite a number of states, and houses, and towns. Work at many many different jobs and types of jobs. Even those that i would have thought would of been prime candidate. His name was Grant, he worked at the double tree with me. Was 6'2" and around 220 and was an armature wrestler. He was kind, gentle, and very respectful to everyone around him. He was my favorite of all the coworkers i had there. So from my life views and even my life bubble, i had never even got a whiff of it. Sure i would see it in Vines/TicToks and Youtube and stuff. So i knew it was a mind set that was out in the world, but i thought it was rare! Untill i joined this guild~
Being in the discord with these "Chads" was down right painful at times at just how bad hearing them "just mess around" was. The word Bro was unironically used no less then 5 times a min. Telling someone that they are trash, or garbage, or a shithead, over and over. So even when i got "cool" with everyone, i started to really poke and prod with some deep questions. When i called the guild "a guild full of Chads" they would giggle and almost enjoy that fact. It made me really wonder if they just have zero self awareness or being a Chad is what they aspired to be! I was just at a loss with them. There was 1 or 2 ppl in this guild that mostly played a long just to keep the peace, but that to me showed how bad things had gotten.
I even asked a few of them, if we got together at a bar in Vegas for like a guild meet up. Would you hug anyone. I got a big "naaaaa~" from most ppl. I asked this question because of how my life is with the fandom and others i meet in the fandom. A hug is normal! Its like our handshake, but it shows a level of trust and intimacy that i would never get with anyone in that guild, save for maybe 1 or 2 others. But there was 1 thing that i was shocked at! My icon in discord is my furry self. And i can remember in the middle of the raid when we where setting up for a boss, one of them ask "hey Kai (my in game name is Kaimetsu) are you a furry?" Now im an odd person, and i love questions that might start a topic of debate, or even deep personal questions. I am awesome at dealing with them. So i said with zero hesitation "yes i am". And there was a few seconds of silence that followed, but the guy who asked the question had one of the best replys ive head in a long time "ahh ok cool. I like it when others dont hide who they are". I got asked a few other random questions about furries and stuff, as i was cool with them and i was more then happy to answer questions. But thankfully, i am no longer in that guild because they server transferred no joke, yesterday. So it was a nice way to leave all that behind. I did end up sending personal msgs to those few in that guild that was good to be around.
But now that i am free from that bro soup, i really hope that anyone doesnt have to live anywhere near that social sub set. It was awful. Is there anyone that does? How do you deal with that? Do you try and fit in and shit talk others and bro your way out of stuff?
Almost everyone i have talked with, chatted with, or even befriended for an extended period of time was never even close to it. Even being in the fandom itself! Being the nomad i am, i have got to live in quite a number of states, and houses, and towns. Work at many many different jobs and types of jobs. Even those that i would have thought would of been prime candidate. His name was Grant, he worked at the double tree with me. Was 6'2" and around 220 and was an armature wrestler. He was kind, gentle, and very respectful to everyone around him. He was my favorite of all the coworkers i had there. So from my life views and even my life bubble, i had never even got a whiff of it. Sure i would see it in Vines/TicToks and Youtube and stuff. So i knew it was a mind set that was out in the world, but i thought it was rare! Untill i joined this guild~
Being in the discord with these "Chads" was down right painful at times at just how bad hearing them "just mess around" was. The word Bro was unironically used no less then 5 times a min. Telling someone that they are trash, or garbage, or a shithead, over and over. So even when i got "cool" with everyone, i started to really poke and prod with some deep questions. When i called the guild "a guild full of Chads" they would giggle and almost enjoy that fact. It made me really wonder if they just have zero self awareness or being a Chad is what they aspired to be! I was just at a loss with them. There was 1 or 2 ppl in this guild that mostly played a long just to keep the peace, but that to me showed how bad things had gotten.
I even asked a few of them, if we got together at a bar in Vegas for like a guild meet up. Would you hug anyone. I got a big "naaaaa~" from most ppl. I asked this question because of how my life is with the fandom and others i meet in the fandom. A hug is normal! Its like our handshake, but it shows a level of trust and intimacy that i would never get with anyone in that guild, save for maybe 1 or 2 others. But there was 1 thing that i was shocked at! My icon in discord is my furry self. And i can remember in the middle of the raid when we where setting up for a boss, one of them ask "hey Kai (my in game name is Kaimetsu) are you a furry?" Now im an odd person, and i love questions that might start a topic of debate, or even deep personal questions. I am awesome at dealing with them. So i said with zero hesitation "yes i am". And there was a few seconds of silence that followed, but the guy who asked the question had one of the best replys ive head in a long time "ahh ok cool. I like it when others dont hide who they are". I got asked a few other random questions about furries and stuff, as i was cool with them and i was more then happy to answer questions. But thankfully, i am no longer in that guild because they server transferred no joke, yesterday. So it was a nice way to leave all that behind. I did end up sending personal msgs to those few in that guild that was good to be around.
But now that i am free from that bro soup, i really hope that anyone doesnt have to live anywhere near that social sub set. It was awful. Is there anyone that does? How do you deal with that? Do you try and fit in and shit talk others and bro your way out of stuff?
I'm a fluffy fox fur, I'm gonna remain that. Sure, in public I act differently just so I don't draw attention, but privately, I'm who I am. Fluffy, huggable, and overall, just gonna be my derpy shy self. It just sucks that there's many out there who would rather be disingenuous to themselves rather than lead their own life...
I presonally am an officer in a guild i have been with at the start of classic. And at the moment i will soon be join gm when TBC hits and our community is strong.
Yeah there is a good chance we will do a guild meetup either this year or next and trust me i know what you mean with hugs, im very shy irl and out of my comfort zone but i went to meet one of my guild mates before lockdown and as i walked up to him (we have players before 15 years ago) he put his arms out in a hug gesture and i gratefully accepted.
Sometimes it works, some of you just hit it off. I know for a fact that if i met two of my friends in sweden that i will offer a hug, they will probably just got for a handshake but who knows.
Wow communitys can be very special and the guild i am in i am thankful to say has exactly that and tbh i would not change it.
I know my methods won't work for everyone, but it works for me. Hopefully you don't have to deal with those types of people much anymore.
That said, I can't stand to be around bro-types or toxic masculinity in any capacity. I think I see it more online than anything, but I'm glad I don't live on a campus with fraternities, *yuck.*
^ i dont know, this was made in 2011 and it seems correct to this day. *shrugs*
But ya, its just crazy gross that ppl act like that.
But this isn't a hill I'll die on lol, some memes have also turned that "bro-type" image into a positive thing too, but specifically to subvert expectations of toxic masculinity and what a bro-type is.
And @ the reply below me...lord people love to turn things into conspiracies.
So I’ll remove my previous comment and let it be. And yes, I am very much as accountable to that quote as everyone else. I just wish FA would be less political than it is today so people like myself can just enjoy the artz without running into preachy journals...present company excepted, of course.
Really hope you find better communities that you'd want to play & interact with, the effort it would take for em to untoxify part of their masculinity doesn't sound like it's worth it.
I was strong enough to be able to move past it, but so many others try to mold into that group and become just as toxic. Its almost sad.
And the reason this hazing happens in that gaming guild you were in, is because none of the guys in it like each other, so they either want to abuse or ditch each other.