Oof. This update is a long time coming… and my apologies, it’s not going to be a very good one.

The Cliff’s Notes version: I’m alive.

The slightly longer, but still pitifully short version: I, like so very many others, have had a shit time of the past year+.

The positive: Still have work, which has become pretty much 24-7. Still relatively healthy, despite a few illnesses. Way fewer illnesses since the kids were out of school and not bringing home every germ known to man. The kids and dogs and fish love the new place we moved to so much. It snowed yesterday ♡. Also I got a fish and I love him and he has improved my life on more levels than is reasonable for fish ownership. I learned how to drywall and I’m really good at it.

The negative: I’ve lost people. People I loved and cared about. I've developed an... allergy? to pot. Can't smoke it. Vape it. Edible it. Drops. Everything makes me violently ill. My wrist is still fucked, despite my best efforts, and will probably require surgery. I have been avoiding FA because not being able to draw has been extremely hard for me, mentally and emotionally. That probably sounds stupid, but… it just… is. I’ve put on an embarrassingly, unhealthy amount of weight. I’d already put on a bunch from pre-quarantine [thanks, depression], but quarantine just… exacerbated things. I lost a couple of years worth of files in my move, because I physically lost the drive they were on. I lost one of my dogs. Depression has been brutal. I’m broke as fuck. A delivery person accidentally shattered my glass door. Did I mention it snowed? And there’s so much more. So much worse.

Anyway. Yeah. Still alive. That’s about as much as I’ve got right now, which… considering the past year+… that’s a lot. And I should be thankful. I am. Genuinely. I just… yeah.

I really, really hope that you’re all doing well. I do miss you, and I am sorry for disappearing. I’m doing my best, really. It doesn’t feel like it. It doesn’t [look like it. But I’m trying not to beat myself up. …too much. I’ll try not to let as much time go between updates. I have about a billion notes. I haven’t read them. I probably won’t read them any time soon. Just.. I’m alive, and I miss you, and I hope you’re all doing well.