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The Long-Awaited Update
4 years ago
Heya guys, how are you doing? I know it's been some time since my last few submissions, but as promised, I wanted to fill you guys in with what's been happening with me, these past few months.
Back in October, it was revealed to me that my father was facing... health problems that would eventually result in his death in the coming months. While I was completely unaware, I was a big bogged down with real-life events that were happening for me.
On 24th of December, my father was admitted to the Petoskey hospital about 90 minutes away from me, needing to have some serious amputation work that was to be done on his feet... He was going to be losing all of his toes... The doctors also confirmed that due to his kidneys, my father was needing a blood transfusion, and inevitably due to the state of his kidneys, an entirely new kidney altogether at the least.
The news was a shock to me, and I messaged my dad to let him know that he was loved, and that I looked forward to his return. I can't count the number of days that I waited for any news of my dad... until one day, New Year's Day, that the news was announced...
"Dad collapsed this morning... He is unconcscious, and waiting for the paramedics to arrive..."
My dad was returned back home previously on January 31st, and was instructed to keep his foot elevated... He'd had all his toes amputated due to his diabetes that had been progressively worsening in the years prior, and had eventually resulted in him losing all his toest altogether. The doctors and nurses had insisted, and insisted, but dad wanted to come home... He wanted to be home for Christmas, to spend it with us kids...
That day was the last time we ever heard any message from dad...
"Hey... I just wanted to let you know, I need to pick up a prescription from Arfstrom's Pharmacy. Maybe later today we can grab lunch while we're out? Love you." It was the last voicemail my dad ever left me...
My father died on the 2nd of January, 2021. The paramedics had a hard time trying to revive him... He was rushed to the War Memorial Hospital, where he was eventually given a type of hypothermia, which was intended to focus solely on the heart and the brain. The procedure took 24 hours altogether, as they chilled his body to 32 degrees before steadily warming him back up. The procedure was intended to resuscitate him, but unfortunately he was pronounced brain dead...
I was losing my dad...
My family needed to make a big decision... We could either keep him going on life support, which he was brain-dead and wouldn't return from his state of unconsciousness (He was pronounced dead for over an hour before he was brought to the hospital), or... make our good-bye's to our father, who had been with us for the entirety of our lives...
I had no intentions of leaving my father... I went to his side, and spent well over an hour with him, knowing it would be the last time I would ever see my dad... I talked to him... I reminded him of the many things we did together... whether searching for treasure with his metal-detector, having lunch together, or even spending time together as we did growing up. He was the one who encouraged me to play a musical instrument... The clarinet and the tenor saxophone... He was the one who even built a Go-Kart from spare parts, and splatter-painted it with his own inspiration from a mistake he'd made. He was the one who bought us paint-ball guns, and who'd even paid for my sister and I to learn how to legally hunt with a rifle, even putting us through training. He always put us kids first... Even if during the first 18 years of my life my dad was always working two jobs, he always put the well-being of us kids before himself... He was a hard-working man, and I'd feel wrong to say that I didn't appreciate him for the things he had done for us... He had done so much more for us... more than I can even put into words... My dad was everything for me... I wasn't prepared to lose him so shortly, even after the news came from my sister on the 4th of December...: "I was there to hold hands with dad... He's in a better place now... May we see him again someday, with his new body, where he is no longer in any pain... He passed away at 7 p.m. today... I was there to see him home..."
I cried...
I cried and cried... I missed my dad, for all the things he'd done for me... For me, it was more than just losing a father... it was losing my best friend. I told everything to my dad... I told him about all my online friends, about the games I played, even showed him the drawings that I drew I was too afraid to show other family members... I talked to him, I spent time with him, even after my Grandpa Maurice Coullard passed away in 2018, when our family needed each other the most...
My dad was my everything...
From that day forward, I spent many months in healing... I am not sure if I'm really truly 100% ready to return back to artwork... I have spent the past few months with close friends, family, and to myself to regather my thoughts. It is a lot to take in at this moment in time, and I am in no way quick or ready to return back to what I had been doing prior.
I am taking each day one day at a time, and one challenge at a time. I took two weeks off at the start of January to recuperate, and even that didn't seem enough time. I even took an additional week in the third week of March, and that wasn't enough. Working at a petrol/gas station, it may seem low-trafficking, but I am a person who needs that low-trafficking and lesser human interaction. I have not been well, and it shows on my face, and in my work ethic. Already, I have been penalised for having taken a few days off, due to my sleeping medication not working as prescribed, and already I'm waiting to go back for another evulation to figure out what to do next. I have already been given bereavement, time off, and holiday time, and already taken a penalty for extra time due to my sleep medication. I do not need extra time. I am in the midst of recovery, and I am doing my best to remain low-functioning in the areas that stress me the most so that I can focus solely on me.
I plan to continue my artwork... For the time being, it's just a lot to take in... Losing my dad wasn't something to expect, and for me it was a lot more to take in than just a bad day at work or a fight with a friend, or losing a job or loss of inspiration... "Hell for one person isn't always Hell for another; Pain for one person is different from the pain to another," I'd always said. I do miss my dad... and I do suffer pain... I am giving myself time to recover, and not forcing myself back into things... I think anyone else would only want the same...
Thank you all for being here for me, and for being so patient. I apologise for the lack of updates, I am hoping that those who have remained around will continue to do so. I am extremely thankful for the true friends being here for me, checking on me, messaging me, and even just... BEING there for me, for all that you've done. My mother received any money that was received, and I gave gift-cards from my work to her, because god only knows she needs it the most...
Thank you all for being there for me. For those who have abandoned me, or for those who have went other ways, I still appreciate the messages. I miss many of you, I know many have either gone their separate ways or talk ill of me, but I cannot change who I am--I have always been the best version of me you'll ever receive, and I cannot ask for anything more than your own personal honesty, because god only knows that I've only ever been honest with all of you.
I look forward to drawing for all of you again in the near future, and for those who have been there for me in the past. Please forgive my delays, and I hope to bring you more promising content in the future. For the time being, I appreciate your patient, your kindness, and your willingness to follow me after all this time. Thank you everyone.
With Much Appreciation,
--Matt
Back in October, it was revealed to me that my father was facing... health problems that would eventually result in his death in the coming months. While I was completely unaware, I was a big bogged down with real-life events that were happening for me.
On 24th of December, my father was admitted to the Petoskey hospital about 90 minutes away from me, needing to have some serious amputation work that was to be done on his feet... He was going to be losing all of his toes... The doctors also confirmed that due to his kidneys, my father was needing a blood transfusion, and inevitably due to the state of his kidneys, an entirely new kidney altogether at the least.
The news was a shock to me, and I messaged my dad to let him know that he was loved, and that I looked forward to his return. I can't count the number of days that I waited for any news of my dad... until one day, New Year's Day, that the news was announced...
"Dad collapsed this morning... He is unconcscious, and waiting for the paramedics to arrive..."
My dad was returned back home previously on January 31st, and was instructed to keep his foot elevated... He'd had all his toes amputated due to his diabetes that had been progressively worsening in the years prior, and had eventually resulted in him losing all his toest altogether. The doctors and nurses had insisted, and insisted, but dad wanted to come home... He wanted to be home for Christmas, to spend it with us kids...
That day was the last time we ever heard any message from dad...
"Hey... I just wanted to let you know, I need to pick up a prescription from Arfstrom's Pharmacy. Maybe later today we can grab lunch while we're out? Love you." It was the last voicemail my dad ever left me...
My father died on the 2nd of January, 2021. The paramedics had a hard time trying to revive him... He was rushed to the War Memorial Hospital, where he was eventually given a type of hypothermia, which was intended to focus solely on the heart and the brain. The procedure took 24 hours altogether, as they chilled his body to 32 degrees before steadily warming him back up. The procedure was intended to resuscitate him, but unfortunately he was pronounced brain dead...
I was losing my dad...
My family needed to make a big decision... We could either keep him going on life support, which he was brain-dead and wouldn't return from his state of unconsciousness (He was pronounced dead for over an hour before he was brought to the hospital), or... make our good-bye's to our father, who had been with us for the entirety of our lives...
I had no intentions of leaving my father... I went to his side, and spent well over an hour with him, knowing it would be the last time I would ever see my dad... I talked to him... I reminded him of the many things we did together... whether searching for treasure with his metal-detector, having lunch together, or even spending time together as we did growing up. He was the one who encouraged me to play a musical instrument... The clarinet and the tenor saxophone... He was the one who even built a Go-Kart from spare parts, and splatter-painted it with his own inspiration from a mistake he'd made. He was the one who bought us paint-ball guns, and who'd even paid for my sister and I to learn how to legally hunt with a rifle, even putting us through training. He always put us kids first... Even if during the first 18 years of my life my dad was always working two jobs, he always put the well-being of us kids before himself... He was a hard-working man, and I'd feel wrong to say that I didn't appreciate him for the things he had done for us... He had done so much more for us... more than I can even put into words... My dad was everything for me... I wasn't prepared to lose him so shortly, even after the news came from my sister on the 4th of December...: "I was there to hold hands with dad... He's in a better place now... May we see him again someday, with his new body, where he is no longer in any pain... He passed away at 7 p.m. today... I was there to see him home..."
I cried...
I cried and cried... I missed my dad, for all the things he'd done for me... For me, it was more than just losing a father... it was losing my best friend. I told everything to my dad... I told him about all my online friends, about the games I played, even showed him the drawings that I drew I was too afraid to show other family members... I talked to him, I spent time with him, even after my Grandpa Maurice Coullard passed away in 2018, when our family needed each other the most...
My dad was my everything...
From that day forward, I spent many months in healing... I am not sure if I'm really truly 100% ready to return back to artwork... I have spent the past few months with close friends, family, and to myself to regather my thoughts. It is a lot to take in at this moment in time, and I am in no way quick or ready to return back to what I had been doing prior.
I am taking each day one day at a time, and one challenge at a time. I took two weeks off at the start of January to recuperate, and even that didn't seem enough time. I even took an additional week in the third week of March, and that wasn't enough. Working at a petrol/gas station, it may seem low-trafficking, but I am a person who needs that low-trafficking and lesser human interaction. I have not been well, and it shows on my face, and in my work ethic. Already, I have been penalised for having taken a few days off, due to my sleeping medication not working as prescribed, and already I'm waiting to go back for another evulation to figure out what to do next. I have already been given bereavement, time off, and holiday time, and already taken a penalty for extra time due to my sleep medication. I do not need extra time. I am in the midst of recovery, and I am doing my best to remain low-functioning in the areas that stress me the most so that I can focus solely on me.
I plan to continue my artwork... For the time being, it's just a lot to take in... Losing my dad wasn't something to expect, and for me it was a lot more to take in than just a bad day at work or a fight with a friend, or losing a job or loss of inspiration... "Hell for one person isn't always Hell for another; Pain for one person is different from the pain to another," I'd always said. I do miss my dad... and I do suffer pain... I am giving myself time to recover, and not forcing myself back into things... I think anyone else would only want the same...
Thank you all for being here for me, and for being so patient. I apologise for the lack of updates, I am hoping that those who have remained around will continue to do so. I am extremely thankful for the true friends being here for me, checking on me, messaging me, and even just... BEING there for me, for all that you've done. My mother received any money that was received, and I gave gift-cards from my work to her, because god only knows she needs it the most...
Thank you all for being there for me. For those who have abandoned me, or for those who have went other ways, I still appreciate the messages. I miss many of you, I know many have either gone their separate ways or talk ill of me, but I cannot change who I am--I have always been the best version of me you'll ever receive, and I cannot ask for anything more than your own personal honesty, because god only knows that I've only ever been honest with all of you.
I look forward to drawing for all of you again in the near future, and for those who have been there for me in the past. Please forgive my delays, and I hope to bring you more promising content in the future. For the time being, I appreciate your patient, your kindness, and your willingness to follow me after all this time. Thank you everyone.
With Much Appreciation,
--Matt
I always wanna be here to support ya and be there to hold your hand. We're always here for ya!
I don't even know if I'm gonna be able to get through it, I have a nice relationship with my father, even though I have trouble showing how much I care about him, and the thought of all this happening scares me, since he has gotten diabetes recently, so we taking care of him, even though he is a little stubborn about taking care of himself (Can't say I'm much different on myself either heh) but we'll work it out.
It might not be much, but you have my support and my best wishes, and here hoping for the situation to heal a bit more, and soon to get better in general.
I am glad that you are slowly recovering sis in your own ways