So, I’ve not been around much recently.

Lots going on, long story short is

my parents are losing their home: guy they have been renting from for 10 years is selling the house. My parents have no jobs and just get social security. Not enough to rent anywhere else because at this point the requirements for renting are so fucking insane you need to make 3 times the monthly rent with ONE pay check. So... that’s not going to happen. So I need to buy them a house. Which means all the hard work I’ve done to save up money so that I could buy a house for MYSELF... down the drain so my parents don’t end up being homeless. It’s insanely stressful as our grandparents want to help, but my mother refuses to talk to them over something my grandfather said months ago and apologized for.

My Health: since the car crash, I’ve had high blood pressure. Between whatever happened and the stress I’ve been under constantly... it’s dangerously high. Medication I’ve been taking WAS working.... but not anymore. Which I found out when I had a T.I.A. (Mini stroke) and ended up in the hospital about 3 weeks ago.
I’ve been out of work ever since as my pressure has been hovering between hypertension stage 2 and hypertensive crisis (heart failure) and it’s unsafe for me to drive or be in the high stress environment that my job is.... because I could have a stroke or TIA at any second and if that happens while I’m driving... well, you can guess how that can go.

My doctor is a fucking joke and has prescribed an additional blood pressure medicine that so far has only increased my blood pressure and his brilliant idea is: keep upping the dosage and see how it goes for a few days and try again.
So... my pressure has just been going up, and up, and up and up.... and I feel like my heart is red-lining and could give out at any moment. Feels like someone is sitting on my chest.

And the icing on the shit cake that has been thrown in my face is: I broke a toe on my right foot today.
Which is great considering I badly sprained the big toe on my left foot when I collapsed and was hospitalized 3 weeks ago... which I mentioned to at least 6 people at the hospital AND my doctor and not a SINGLE fucking person looked at it to see if it was broken or dislocated or what.. just. “Oh... ok”. And NOTHING.

I fucking hate doctors. They have all been utter and absolute cunts and I’ve told them what was wrong with me and what should be done to fix it and they all ignore me and then 99% of the time, after so much time is wasted and money spent.... they end up doing what I said they should do from the start... and surprise surprise...it works

So, in case my heart gives out or the damage that’s been done to it over this time is irreversible and I fucking die.... it’s been fun everyone.
I’ve had some good times.
I’ve done some pretty cool shit.
I’m glad to have met a lot of the people that I have met.

But I really think my asshole doctor is going to kill me because he’s not listening to a fucking word I say, which is basically the story of my life, and I really think he’s just going to keep upping the dosage on this medicine that clearly isn’t fucking working until my heart explodes in the middle of the night and I goddamn die.