Not about anything particular or that I feel I've particularly been taking a lot recently. I just feel the last few years I've largely just been looking after myself and nothing beyond that. Not selfishly exactly but everything I've done the past three or four years has been for my benefit. Or for the benefit of my future maybe. All the work I've done on my commissions and Patreon page and a few other things I've got going on the side have benefitted me and me alone. Then there has been the stress of Covid as well, where I have been looking out for my family and keeping them safe. Recent events though have made me see a bigger picture, looking outwards rather than inwards. Pushed me back out to seeing a world beyond myself.

Sometimes it takes something extreme to make you step back and observe the way you have been seeing the world. And I've kinda gone through something pretty extreme these past few weeks..a month? I've lost track. Not something I've talked about openly here but I have suffered a few times in my life with severe periods of anxiety. Not just a few days but an episode lasting a week or more. And I've recently been hit by another, this time being the worst I've ever felt. I've been experiencing almost constant panic attacks from when I wake to when I go to sleep. I've bounced back now thanks to a change in my meds.

Anyway, I could run on about this for a long while but that's not why I'm writing this. I've spent enough time dwelling on these anxieties and constant dread. I'm holding onto that bigger picture. And in the spirit of the upcoming Olympics and my recent visits to the Red Cross website I'm planning to do a sponsored challenge to raise money for the Red Cross. I haven't quite worked out all the details but I'm planning something around my Kung Fu practice, maybe a sponsored form/taolu challenge. I'll follow up here when I've decided.

White.