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The Truth (+16)
4 years ago
TL;DR Warning +16
You know what? I'm going to reveal EVERYTHING I can remember that brought me down.
When I was a child, around 9~10 y.o., someone already tried to be sexual with me and accomplished. Children are easy to be manipulated due to their innocence, and I was too
The guy never penetrated me, but teached me sexual stuff that brought me to a chain reaction of bad things in the future. One of them was with my cousin...and I know I pretty much fucked his life because of this, and I was only 16. This led to my family to know I did those, and..
...I'm completely embarassed to look and talk to them to this day. But hold on...it's not over. Thanks to 2 girls that abused me as well when I was only 12~14, I also got shit to have nightmares of till this day. The girls were also young like me, but they wanted to be sexual.
No penetrations again, but they spread the world that I DID penetrate them, and their mothers dropped on me and my mother, because they were 2 and I was only 1. So they believed them and 'til this day, me and my mother holds fears and traumas to trust after that...
...Not counting how embarassed I also was with that. There were also attempts where I live now. A person that used to live here brought me to his apartment and induced me to play a game were we had to strip our clothes if we lost in something I don't want to remember now.
I didn't tell my mother about that because she has serious problems of anxiety and panic. But enough of sexual stuff, it wasn't only that.
People took advantage of my kindness just for their interest many times. The ones I remember the most are:
During school, I was always the one alone that no one wanted to talk, then some guy came over and we started to talk. Since I always wanted a friend, I let him approach easily from me at the point of taking him to my home. Well...
AcidDragonGraugh
When he came, he brought a few friends of him with, and when we were at my house, one of them distracted me while the others robbed stuff from me. Mostly from my brother, that got EXTREMELLY MAD at me, words can't describe how sad I was.
There was also a friend I met during the last years before finishing college, she was just like me and we became great friends, though...she started a relationship with another friend I had, a long term friend I met lots of years before knowing her.
Well...everytime I called her to play games in my apartment, she would brought his BF to keep kissing and such with him, and leave me there with an empty look of "None of them are interested, what should I do?"
One day, I called her again to come with her BF but she didn't appear. I waited for 2 hours...anxious for them until I discovered that they WERE on my door...FOR 2 HOURS kissing and snuggling and fuck that, doesn't matter.
It was the last time I called her, I cried so much...
I've been bullied in school, in front of the whole class...I've been in a class where people were crazy. Throwing bags at each other, drugs, the WORST, FUCKING, CLASS, IN THE ENTIRE, WORLD, BELIEVE ME. And I was there because the school though it was good, because of my grades...
I've been humiliated where I live now as well. People hurting me in front of others because it was fun. People making fun of my trust on them just to look cool, like... "Yeah haha, he believed me lol" AND I WAS THERE TO HEAR. EVERY FUCKING TIME I TRIED TO HAD A FRIEND.
There was another fucking person who became my friend just to steal a game from my brother again, but this time I noticed. I called him a thief and he told his mother, then his mother came EXTREMELY MAD AT ME. I swear I thought she was going to hit me, saying...
"JUST BECAUSE HE GOT ONE FUCKING GAME WITHOUT YOU NOTICING, DOES THIS MAKE HIM A THIEF NOW??", I never forget this day.
And not even counting times I was humiliated BY TEACHERS in front of my own class, one of the times because of my appearance.
And I'm not even telling about deaths I have to come through all this time, but none of this matters, right? Death is common so no one cares about my losses.
There's so many things that happened to me, but this is already too big, and I'm not even telling Realtionship problems I had on the last decade, plus all the people that only approached me by interest in the internet that only opened up my scars of the past.
I hope this FUCKING proves to you, who likes to say "I'm too depressive", that my fight is FAR BEYOND YOUR FUCKING EMOTMIONAL KNOWLEDGE.
I congratulate every single one of you that judged me because I'm too depressive (There's many), because thanks to all of you, THIS IS WHAT I BECAME. I'M A MONSTER AND WHOEVER MET ME 10 YEARS AGO, KNOWS I'M A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON TODAY.
Enjoy the fucking story of my life, whoever expects me to suffer more. And I hope to die soon.
You know what? I'm going to reveal EVERYTHING I can remember that brought me down.
When I was a child, around 9~10 y.o., someone already tried to be sexual with me and accomplished. Children are easy to be manipulated due to their innocence, and I was too
The guy never penetrated me, but teached me sexual stuff that brought me to a chain reaction of bad things in the future. One of them was with my cousin...and I know I pretty much fucked his life because of this, and I was only 16. This led to my family to know I did those, and..
...I'm completely embarassed to look and talk to them to this day. But hold on...it's not over. Thanks to 2 girls that abused me as well when I was only 12~14, I also got shit to have nightmares of till this day. The girls were also young like me, but they wanted to be sexual.
No penetrations again, but they spread the world that I DID penetrate them, and their mothers dropped on me and my mother, because they were 2 and I was only 1. So they believed them and 'til this day, me and my mother holds fears and traumas to trust after that...
...Not counting how embarassed I also was with that. There were also attempts where I live now. A person that used to live here brought me to his apartment and induced me to play a game were we had to strip our clothes if we lost in something I don't want to remember now.
I didn't tell my mother about that because she has serious problems of anxiety and panic. But enough of sexual stuff, it wasn't only that.
People took advantage of my kindness just for their interest many times. The ones I remember the most are:
During school, I was always the one alone that no one wanted to talk, then some guy came over and we started to talk. Since I always wanted a friend, I let him approach easily from me at the point of taking him to my home. Well...
AcidDragonGraugh
When he came, he brought a few friends of him with, and when we were at my house, one of them distracted me while the others robbed stuff from me. Mostly from my brother, that got EXTREMELLY MAD at me, words can't describe how sad I was.
There was also a friend I met during the last years before finishing college, she was just like me and we became great friends, though...she started a relationship with another friend I had, a long term friend I met lots of years before knowing her.
Well...everytime I called her to play games in my apartment, she would brought his BF to keep kissing and such with him, and leave me there with an empty look of "None of them are interested, what should I do?"
One day, I called her again to come with her BF but she didn't appear. I waited for 2 hours...anxious for them until I discovered that they WERE on my door...FOR 2 HOURS kissing and snuggling and fuck that, doesn't matter.
It was the last time I called her, I cried so much...
I've been bullied in school, in front of the whole class...I've been in a class where people were crazy. Throwing bags at each other, drugs, the WORST, FUCKING, CLASS, IN THE ENTIRE, WORLD, BELIEVE ME. And I was there because the school though it was good, because of my grades...
I've been humiliated where I live now as well. People hurting me in front of others because it was fun. People making fun of my trust on them just to look cool, like... "Yeah haha, he believed me lol" AND I WAS THERE TO HEAR. EVERY FUCKING TIME I TRIED TO HAD A FRIEND.
There was another fucking person who became my friend just to steal a game from my brother again, but this time I noticed. I called him a thief and he told his mother, then his mother came EXTREMELY MAD AT ME. I swear I thought she was going to hit me, saying...
"JUST BECAUSE HE GOT ONE FUCKING GAME WITHOUT YOU NOTICING, DOES THIS MAKE HIM A THIEF NOW??", I never forget this day.
And not even counting times I was humiliated BY TEACHERS in front of my own class, one of the times because of my appearance.
And I'm not even telling about deaths I have to come through all this time, but none of this matters, right? Death is common so no one cares about my losses.
There's so many things that happened to me, but this is already too big, and I'm not even telling Realtionship problems I had on the last decade, plus all the people that only approached me by interest in the internet that only opened up my scars of the past.
I hope this FUCKING proves to you, who likes to say "I'm too depressive", that my fight is FAR BEYOND YOUR FUCKING EMOTMIONAL KNOWLEDGE.
I congratulate every single one of you that judged me because I'm too depressive (There's many), because thanks to all of you, THIS IS WHAT I BECAME. I'M A MONSTER AND WHOEVER MET ME 10 YEARS AGO, KNOWS I'M A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON TODAY.
Enjoy the fucking story of my life, whoever expects me to suffer more. And I hope to die soon.
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