I'm definitely no the best person for this, since english is not my first language (Brazil here) and i'm not very good with writhing.
I haven't read all your stories, but i do like the ones that i've been through. i think your pace is good, and how you develop the characters. You give them meaning and don't rush, how the surrounding and their bodies affects them.
Weight gain stories are great but how it affects the characters, is specially interesting to me. The burden of the everyday life.

Everyone can improve and so can you, but i think you are doing a great job.
Love your stories, and i hope this helps a bit. ^^
Big hugs!

Thank you for reading them! I'm glad to hear that the pacing and character development is alright. I do enjoy writing stories where weight gain is a feature, but not always central to the plot.

Thanks for the feedback! Any feedback is very useful, even if English is not your first language

I'll look over and maybe add a comment here and there. They'll tend more towards the complimentary rather than the critical I suspect.

Thank you for the feedback :)

Heyo! Figured I'd offer my feedbacks since I really enjoy discussing stuff like this with other writers. First of all, anything I'll say will be subjective critique, so don't take it as gospel. Writing, and art itself, are highly subjective; the things I find worthy of criticism or reevaluation might be the favorite parts of other readers. With that disclaimer out of the way, I feel like there are two main "issues" that I've noticed when it comes to your style.

First is the pacing. I think I've left a comment pertaining to this on the first chapter of your Dragon and his reckoning story, and it feels like that hasn't changed. You clearly have a confident grasp on writing in general; your command of words clearly has the capacity to evoke emotions from your readers, and it has done so for me on many occasions. The only issue I had with it was always the fact that while the words and phrases were all excellently written and chosen to convey the type of emotion you wanted, the build-up and the preceding actions of the characters and events didn't feel substential enough to form the foundation of the emotional payout. It often feels like characters and events grow or change without the proper set-up, and thus the payoff, while excellently executed in terms of technique, lacks the emotional foundation necessary to really drive the scene home. Of course, I realize that writing stuff like this isn't easy, but in your case specifically, it really does feel like payoffs are sometimes unearned and lack that investment from your reader. It still reads great and the impact is there, but it just doesn't hit the high highs of "professional" writers that you seem to be aiming for. A good example of this would be Katal's vision of Fray. The scene is great, everything flows from one action to the other in a coherent manner, but the payoff at the end feels a bit hollow because of the quick resolution and the lack of build-up to the scene. Katal's growing regret and remorse should have been given more time to simmer and develop, especially given his arrogant and narcissistic personality. He could have fought against invasive thoughts of regret, little snippets of memories of his time with Fray that come to occupy his mind at random times, nightly scenes of gradually developing self-doubt and introspection punctuating the daily therapy sessions. Stuff like that. I understand that time constraints make this a lot harder to manage, but even just shorter parahraphs detailing such things can go a long way to help drive that emotional scene home.

The other aspect is dialogue. This might just be me, but it feels like some of the character interactions can come across as rather hollow. Almost artificial, in a way. The emotions are kinda there, and I'm not sure if it's the phrasing or the choice of words, but something feels a bit off. It could be that you seem to let a certain character speak for too long at once, and usually with almost perfect cadence and grammar, too. But if you think about it, nobody actually talks like that IRL. There are interruptions, stammers, stutters, forgetting words, using the wrong word, facial expressions, and in the case of furries and scalies, motions of ears, tails, wings etc. All of these aspects can be utilized to give more personality and a "style" to how certain characters talk, which helps with distinguishing them from one another. It might be personal bias on my part, but I'm particularly fond of utilizing descriptive interjections either between two conjuctions or even in the middle of sentences.

Just a lil example so it's more clear:
"I... really, really doubt that'd be a good idea," his brows furrowed, a hand raising to rub at his forearm uncertainly, voice wavering now, "I mean, just look at the damn thing! I-It, uh, it looks ready to collapse."

Of course, this is an exaggeration where I included a lot of the mentioned aspects just to get the point across. Going too far with these descriptions can also be difficult to read through, something I'm personally guilty of... So yeah, striking a good balance can really inject more personality and style into the voices of your characters. Not sure if I'm misremembering, but I don't recall seeing you utilize this kinda stuff in your dialogue, so that could be why you and I both feel like the characters can come across a bit "wooden".

Another example just for good measure from your own work:

‘That’s good,’ she said, and watching him eat said, ‘You mountain dragons certainly have an appetite, don’t you?’

‘Well, that we do, but I dare say that I have the biggest.’

And how I'd write it:

‘That’s good,’ she said, tilting her head and raising an eyebrow as she watched him eat, ‘You... mountain dragons certainly have an appetite, don’t you?’

‘Well, that we do," Katal swallowed a chunk of meat, glancing back to meet Ardalane's gaze with a smirk, "but I dare say that I have the biggest.’

So yeah, stuff like that. I hope that helps! :3 Again, these are all suggestions based on my subjective opinion of what I believe to be "better" writing. A lot of people might not agree, but I think being exposed to new ideas is a great way to incorporate the ones you find interesting. Which brings me to what I'd suggest you to do the most: read, read, and read. Read stuff from accomplished authors, try to focus on how they utilize their writing to bring their characters to life and make their scenes as impactful as possible, and try to incorporate those techniques into your own writing. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all~ Especially for writers who are still in the process of finding their own style and voice! :3

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this reply, it's exactly what I was looking for!

Firstly, the tips for pacing are 100% what I need. I really struggle with this, especially given (as you mention) time constraints and the length of my stories. But like, other writers manage to make really engaging stories in short format, and I think I can do better.

Regarding dialogue, there are a few things I need to say. The first is that, for the last few years, I have been pretty strictly following the advice of The Elements of Style (Strunk Jr.) and Stephen King regarding dialogue interactions. The philosophy being that, in order to give the reader credit to fill in the gaps there: the least said outside of actual dialogue the better. However, more and more I'm reading books that pretty much throw away this advice, and I often prefer the result. So, I'm definitely going to change the way that I approach this.

Regarding the use of language in dialogue. I'm from the UK and have a pretty generic, posh English accent. The characters often just speak with a VERY British voice. I often struggle to give characters voices that would flow better if, say, people from North America were to read it, and to do so feels inauthentic on my part. I'm actually unsure of how I could change the dialogue without 'writing what I know', so to speak. I hope that makes sense.

Thanks again for taking the time to write such a detailed response

No worries, I'm always happy to offer feedback and advice~

Regarding the dialogue discussion, this is exactly why I emphasized that these suggestions are merely my idea of what "good" dialogue looks like. You can go so many different ways in terms of style, and while I commend writers that manage to carry their dialogue without any descriptions, I feel like including them in the manner I demonstrated can really elevate a scene and give flair to a character's actions. I believe that with proper usage, it can substentially enhance the reading experience. After all, simply including a character's movement or motion, or even a tilt of their head or just a curl of their lips can transform a given sentence from a plain statement to one that conveys the character's emotion through something else other than their words.

Of course, when I'm referring to descriptive interjections, writing stuff like "'I'm done with you,' she said, her voice sounding sad" is a big no-no. You don't want to explain to the reader what the character is feeling, you merely want to enhance their words with subtle cues about their expressions, their body, their tone, their voice, where they're looking at... etc. This is especially relevant in the context of WG fiction, where alluding to physical characteristics is very much seen as an almost necessary component for the fanservice crowd.

I do agree that dialogue-driven narrative is the most enjoyable, but I also know that if a writer goes down the route of only using dialogue to merely imply and hint at emotions while letting the reader fill in the gaps, then that approach requires actually being able to write really engaging dialogue. Which, as I'm sure you know, is a lot easier said than done! Or... at least, it definitely is for me lmao.

Also, regarding the language of the dialogue, that's definitely a tough one. Without being regularly exposed to different types of these kinds of voices, it's almost impossible to write characters with an unfamiliar vocabulary and way of speaking without coming off as inauthentic. The only advice I could give is to consume media (let that be movies, shows, books, games) from a diverse array of sources and try to imitate them to the best of your ability. That is, if you actually want to imitate them. Many writers simply stick to what they know, which is completely fine, so don't feel pressured to change the dialect that you're most comfortable with.

Also, sorry for walls of text lmao. I hope that substantiates my earlier points~ :3

Don't worry about the wall of text, it's all very helpful. And thanks for elaborating, the nuance here helps me understand your stance on dialogue more. This is not the first time that I have heard this, especially in the context of weight gain fiction.

Do you know what, I'm currently working on a story in the Digimon universe. I think I'll experiment with more description around dialogue, and try to make the emotional payoff towards the end of the story more substantial by setting it up better. The only thing I can't really do is give the characters a different voice, but that's something I can work on later.

Thanks for the critique, it's really, really helpful, and I hope it pays off in my next story :)

I will get to this request later next week, though I tend to avoid fetish stories.