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An update on Wolfy
4 years ago
Those of you who follow me might have noticed an absense of any artistic updates spanning for months.
I guess I'm just not ready for all this. I'm not sure why I do the arts. The last time I did something nice was that raffle doodle, and then it kinda hit me – I'm working on a commission (a free one, but still!), and I must deliver something, and I'm not happy with what I do. I kinda curled up, the fear paralysed me.
It coincided with the end of my school term so I was free to not practise the violin either. I pretty much stopped doing any arts.
I think I still remember that they used to bring me joy. It was fun to create those little isometric scenes and even more so it was fun to sculpt the same face over and over and see if I could nail the damned cheeckbones the next time.
And yet, I find it painfully hard to get back. It's this horrible feeling where you can't produce anything because you don't believe it's of any value.
To those of my friends who offered me your support – guys, thank you all. All of your kind words really help me to stay warm inside while I'm searching for that sparkle of creativity that seem to have fluttered out. I'm privileged in not having to draw for food, and to have my time to think.
It's not an easy decision but I will need to get into this 3D stuffs. Somehow. I don't know how. I need something in my life to make sense. To know there's an odd drawing, a quirky poem, anything – that will remain after I'm gone whenever that happens.
Thursday sounds as good as any other day to start again.
I guess I'm just not ready for all this. I'm not sure why I do the arts. The last time I did something nice was that raffle doodle, and then it kinda hit me – I'm working on a commission (a free one, but still!), and I must deliver something, and I'm not happy with what I do. I kinda curled up, the fear paralysed me.
It coincided with the end of my school term so I was free to not practise the violin either. I pretty much stopped doing any arts.
I think I still remember that they used to bring me joy. It was fun to create those little isometric scenes and even more so it was fun to sculpt the same face over and over and see if I could nail the damned cheeckbones the next time.
And yet, I find it painfully hard to get back. It's this horrible feeling where you can't produce anything because you don't believe it's of any value.
To those of my friends who offered me your support – guys, thank you all. All of your kind words really help me to stay warm inside while I'm searching for that sparkle of creativity that seem to have fluttered out. I'm privileged in not having to draw for food, and to have my time to think.
It's not an easy decision but I will need to get into this 3D stuffs. Somehow. I don't know how. I need something in my life to make sense. To know there's an odd drawing, a quirky poem, anything – that will remain after I'm gone whenever that happens.
Thursday sounds as good as any other day to start again.
Ezmer2Dragon
~ezmer2dragon
Wishing you the best I have that feeling too for writing. I’ve been so busy that to do what I love feels more like work lately. It takes a bit more to get back to something that you’ve been away from for too long.
/hugs 🎈
