wow. this is hard for me to read. even in the 10 years that i've been congoing, it's changed drastically. i really miss the older days.

hugs*

I'll miss you, you amazing fursuit maker. Just know that to me, you were one of the best in the fandom and I was honored to get a picture with Dakota the wolf and his lion boyfriend at Anthrocon 2015.

Been in this thing for over 25 years now and I have to say I feel less welcome than ever.
I agree with you 100% and am about where you are my old friend.
How anyone could hate on you is beyond me, you were one of the nicest/sweetest people I have ever met!

It don't matter these days in the fandom, with the young, entitled, spoiled, child-minded, new hate-filled flakes that make up the call out culture, hide behind their phones & monitors in their safe-spaces & the disease that it is to society & the fandom. I hope to be around for awhile yet, its just i know after watching some great friends in the fandom fall, we all will too.

To be honest you where always one of my favorite suit makers and always hoped to get one some day, though I know life changes and we get older while the fandom gets younger. I love the fandom myself and can never imagine not being a part of it, you just have to find the right group of friends to hang out with that like you for you and not because they expect something from you. I avoid the drama and all the high school mentality that’s been filtering in over time. You just have to do what makes you happy and forget what everyone else thinks, because that’s just there opinion and the only person that controls your happiness in the end is yourself, no one else. I’ve always enjoyed hanging out with you the few times we got to, you’re a really awesome guy :)

hugs tight*

*holds you close*

Dude, you have a long way to go yet. Besides, I have old flashlights to send, fursuit heads to order and a photograph with you to be taken yet.

Also, don't sell yourself short. Your fursuits are the only ones that I (and others) can spot across a con ballroom. Nothing else comes close. You are the best ! =^.^=

hugs* i hopes so too.. just keep watching fellow fur friends fall, its hard.

I love you too. Let us enjoy the last few years of this insanity with a few cold ones

*hug tight* Just know you still have friends out there who care bout you. I really enjoyed my times with you, hanging out taken pictures in suit. You have to take care of you, just wish I got to hang out with you more. Keep your chin up no matter what.

hugs lots*

You know what the best part about you I loved and cared, you showing your best and giving your all to make others happy during these troubling times. I remember the days when I first meet you at cons and getting to know you was the best part of my life. It's sad to see the fandom change when it was less stressful back then....well....somewhat stressful, but at least you made some awesome friends over the years that will always stay by your side hun. Never forget that. *holds*

miss all you guys! *hugs*

You're one of the first I encountered, wish we had met during one of my trips to Canada.

Maybe someday we could? I dunno. You take care of yourself. OK?

hugs* :)

*Hugs* It has been a long and enjoyable ride, and I still find niches and opportunities to share myself with those who are open and care to join me. In an atmosphere of 20-somethings, folks like you and I who helped build this fandom are being swept aside or barely noticed. I've come to terms with that and make my own path. We have all made an indelible mark on this fandom and some will still notice it when we've gone. But the fandom has grown beyond the tight "family" that it once was. Such is the way of all things...ebb and flow. Find your own fun and surround yourself with good people...that's what we enjoyed most about the fandom back when anyway. *Hugs*
Hope your little vent helped you a little. We're not dead yet. :-D

I agree. ^.^

Hey my friend don't give up and count yourself out just yet. I too wish for day past in the fandom, if you give up the jurks and hemorrhoids win.

You are very talented with all you do, if it make you smile and gives you joy don't give up on it.

Theses last eighteen months have drug us all down spiritually mentally and physically... what would you say if I said it was by design?

Do things that uplift your mood and help you feel good. I had a health scare last month, it took me a bit to put things together. I don't want to get into my belief structure but I do know what you think is what you are. Peculiarly with your health. Do what you can to be upbeat and find enjoyment in simple things.

Hugggz my friend know you are loved by many... I'm 64 and I'm not giving up anytime soon. If you want we can talk drop me a note.

The fandom has changed a lot over the twenty-two years I've been a part of it, but something still keeps us here right? You are an amazing artist that creates incredibly high quality, beautiful suits and amazing art. Every person brings a uniqueness to the fandom that nobody else ever can. As for you and I, remember the words of Spock in Star Trek 2, the Wrath of Khan: "I have been and always shall be your friend." *Hugs*

like you, i discovered the furry fandom 23 years ago, when it was in its true glory of being a welcome to all place where we all felt at home.

It's amazing people like you who have made the furry fandom brighter just by being you, and you have made my life brighter just by being a friend. Hang in there and don't give up hope. Love you too, wolfy! *huggles*

hugs back* :)

We’ll sit down and toast our years. You’re further along in the fandom than I. But I married a Canadian so there’s that shining gem.

When did you discover the fandom? i discovered it in 1999.

2004

Youre an inspiration to us all, always have been. You changed the world for many of us.

Just letting you know that indeed, you have made a great impact on the fandom with your works for sure. Your suits are to me the perfect blend of realistic and cartoon looks, to make them look adorable and huggable all the way! And don't give yourself up yet, I am sure you will have stil many many many years ahead of you to enjoy the good times of the fandom, Sir.

Thank you

I love your suit work! I still hope someday I can comission you. But I also feel the whole burning out thing. I've been in the fandom since 2005 and seen the fandom, when I felt was at its best. Maybe I'm just getting old and thr fandoms just getting younger. I cant deal with the call out culture and drama. It's difficult for me to decide weather ill stay or go. I fully empathize with this post.

I don't know what is going on and I'm not going to pry, you can tell me in your own time.

hugs*

*hugs back tenderly and rubs your back* whatever happens we'll be here for you hun

hugs tight...

Thanks, much appreciatated.

I love your suits, I'm still interested in getting my wolf Alfred made by you one day *hugs tight* You're also very friendly too and I've never met you in person yet and could easily see that you were friendly ^_^

hugs lots*

yeah, I feel the same about that. That's why I am trying to do the most impression for furry fandom - teaching ASL ^^

hugs you lots*

*hugs back tightly* I am still interested to commission you for fursuit. <3

There's nothing wrong with understanding mortality buddy. We all get old. I'm right there with you. However, I've learned throughout the days that it's not the number of people you have in ones life, but those few that you hold close. Even they from time to time just fade off into obscurity. Change is always hard and difficult. Appreciate those that are close to you buddy, and consider anything outside the circle, just icing on the cake that is life, cherish and enjoy that shit. Let go knowing that there will be others that fill such voids as time and circumstance change.

Take care buddy. I'll try and do the same here.

hugs* thanks bud..

I'm surprised, I always thought you were one of the top makers in the field. You describe yourself like a wannabe who never made it big.

I remember zoophiles on alt.fan.furry trying to get the whole fandom into their kink. You remember the Burned Furs and the golden age of the trolls, don't you? Drama is part of humanity, inside Furry or out. You can't really get away from it. The best you can do is not be part of it yourself.

I post my own Birfday and my age when it seems appropriate and every so often someone asks if I'm really in my sixties. Or someone I knew from long ago will show up and say hi. It's one of the fun things about having been around since nearly the beginning. But I try to steer clear of drama and let it play itself out.

Sorry I never made it to any of your parties. I was never in your circle though, (which was cool, you can't be in every circle), so not really surprising.

Hugs* thank you.
I strived to provide my customers the best i had to offer, because the biggest reward to me was making people happy in bringing their fursona to life, even to this day and when i re-open after the big move, i will still do the best i can, and even still offer my lifetime/limited warranty on workmanship, (no other builder does that yet as far as i know) .. also even after getting slapped in the face by a mistake "word" i said once i Twitter in a post, that offended one of the fursuit builders i looked up to and idolized dearly, (she knows who she is) hurt me dearly, but i fought to keep going to do what made people happy, even while some builders faced backlash for being exposed for some bad deeds, ( and them being hit by the call-out culture sickness, I focus on the why the furry fandoms was formed from the beginning, acceptance, common-interests, open to all who had a rough childhood, all who discovered a common ground to be who they are. After 22 years in the fandom, 103 conventions, 179 fursuit builds, 5 GOH cons, 1 special guest con, I still value the furry fandom for the "original" values of its original warn acceptance, not the new call-out, hate-filled, offended-by-everything sickness infecting the fandom now like a cancer.. While my days on earth are winding down, i hope i made some difference.., and made some people happy. I know a few people hate me, and some love me, i just want to admit I'm only human, i make mistakes, and I'm not perfect, I just want to say i tried to fit in the best i could, and make others happy. As long as i know i made some happy when i leave this life like everyone does, i will go in peace. *hugs you all*

May as well add my voice...

I found furrydom some time in 2011, but I know a lot about its history (from firsthand accounts on LJ and forums before they all went offline, plus wikifur) because I couldn't stop reading. I suppose you could say I'm one of the ones that are "intrinsically" furry... when I found it, it needed no explanation other than getting used to how things work. For instance, after learning that fursuits exist, I immediately knew that people gave out lots of hugs with them because that's the kind of thing I always wanted. Never thought of costumes before, but I've always (always) wanted furry hugs. It... I can't describe how overjoyed I felt to know that something like this *exists* at all, to see people using cutesy langauge like 'scritch' and writing lots of "*hugs*" in their posts.

So, with all the history I read, I know the way it feels. Sometimes I kind of feel like I found it, read everything I could on what happened up to this point (pre-internet stuff was harder to find), got completely emotionally invested in it during my formative years, and then got to watch it smolder away after someone lit a slow burn.

But for the last 10 years I've spent lurking, I think I finally figured it out: social media is definitely the cause - specifically, it's a LARGE amplifier of bad interactions. Okay, that's obvious... but the problem also, is that some feel attacked if you point this out because they know all their friends through social media. The gist of the problem is that people want to socialize, but the most obvious places to do so are companies that are holding their personal friendships hostage, and pursing their business model means they've got good at getting people addicted. They used to be called "social networking sites", remember? Now it's "social media", which is a creepy term when you think about it. But, aside from the truly nasty people, I think people's anger is not all their fault. It's important to try and be understanding of what they're seeing, try not to get mad back... sometimes it's a drive-by flaming mob, other times it's someone who maybe just needs a friend or to get away from the algorithms.

So what have I learned? Well, I'm a lot more numb to drama after reading so much of it... But within the last 5-ish years, I think I've started to find what I'm looking for. And there are a lot of people out there (a small percent, but a small %percent is still a large #number) who aren't on twit-ter, don't have social media, or if they do use it they only post rarely. They don't like the way it's going, and they're *not* the ones squawking about it on social media because they're not on it in the first place. They're just there, hidden in corners in some places, doing what they've always done.

Yea, furry and the internet is not so quiet and nice today... but after lurking so long I'm just glad I found a few places that it exists, to know that it still exists just like when I found it existed at all in the first place.

For example, your post is proof it still exists. You care about acceptance, know what it means, and you post about it. Which means lurkers like myself can feel a bit less lonely, I've been reading your journal here for most of my 10 years of furry (I should lurk less some time, I think that's long enough - I probably said more during one con than I have online in 10 years).

I'unno, I write a bit too much (and didn't have time to re-read and revise this, hopefully it makes sense) (I always try to make short posts and they never are), but it's true when I say that reading what you have to say makes me happier, and I hope you stay around as long as possible and keep doing what you do. I don't know what the best solution is other than to not get involved in drama, it's not possible to just "not think about it" like some suggest if you're enough of an empath. But continuing to do the right thing makes the percent of stuff that's good go up instead of down, so it's worth doing. Do what we want to see more of - basically, we all need to be a good example.

Well said bud.. I understand your words well.. *hugs*

I remember Furnation, Yerf and VCL. It is strange seeing more and more of them go that you meet back then and there. I know all the artists you meantion.

On the hard topic I had made my decision long ago. Someone once told me my little comics with Bara made his days better. And if my art is helping someone somewhere who I may never meet. Then it was worth it. Maybe we all will be forgotten some day, but for a glimpse of time we made a little impact. And if this impact is positive, then it was worth it ^^