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could use a little help + life updates
4 years ago
Hello all~
I wanted to update yall on how things are going and ask for a bit of help from those who are able
but first; a bit of celebration. I finished EVERY hoof-it submission to my form! No one was left unselected. They've all been posted up to my telegram channels and I'll be putting them onto FA later in spreads.
Lately I've been a bit down on myself again. I keep getting caught up on the fact that I've been doing this job for 5 years, with a degree, have a good rate, and still can't get myself to work enough. my ADHD is real bad (and I've been unmedicated for 18 months; my last medication fucked me up pretty bad) and I have a lot of negative associations with producing art. I've been dealing with this for years. it's finally starting to improve, but it just all feels still too slow. I know where to go from here but the stress of feeling like I'm weak and can't keep up with everything has been getting to me. I've been living off of 12-17k a year for the past several and that's very low in the states, especially for someone with a lot of student debt
Don't get me wrong, in the past year I've been in a position that's one of the best in my life. I feel more calm and secure than I really ever have. But depression has still been managing to creep back in and I haven't had the extra funds to go see a professional again.
I'm going to continue working on myself, I dream of a day not too soon in the future where I'm really pulling my own weight. I have a dream of producing a lot of my own content for my sci-fi and fantasy worlds (I barely touch them since college, out of fear), I'm studying again, and making enough money. some part of me knows I have what it takes. I just hope it's sooner than later. In 5 years I don't want to still feel like I'm still scraping, at my wit's end just trying to put in the absolute minimum effort. it's not great for the self confidence
If you believe in me and want to invest in that future a bit, would you consider donating some? And please include somewhere I can properly reach and thank you, if you do <3 I'm not in an emergency yet, and I don't like asking for help, but it could take some of the edge off
If anyone sends me anything the first things it'll be going to is a cheap keyboard and another monitor, so I can keep a separate art station with my pc, to maybe help with the work/life separation and so I never have to unplug my tablet anymore. I think that'll help me focus on work a lot better. I'm also going to the doctor for the first time in almost 2 years on friday and I'm worried about how much it'll cost. rent and loan payments are also coming up and things are tighter this month than they've been in a long time :x
Thank you very much for reading and for those that have been with me for a long while ;u; I love yall and you make this all worth it
https://ko-fi.com/maneframe
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/maneframe
https://checkout.square.site/mercha.....RRAZ27GVZHMH33
I wanted to update yall on how things are going and ask for a bit of help from those who are able
but first; a bit of celebration. I finished EVERY hoof-it submission to my form! No one was left unselected. They've all been posted up to my telegram channels and I'll be putting them onto FA later in spreads.
Lately I've been a bit down on myself again. I keep getting caught up on the fact that I've been doing this job for 5 years, with a degree, have a good rate, and still can't get myself to work enough. my ADHD is real bad (and I've been unmedicated for 18 months; my last medication fucked me up pretty bad) and I have a lot of negative associations with producing art. I've been dealing with this for years. it's finally starting to improve, but it just all feels still too slow. I know where to go from here but the stress of feeling like I'm weak and can't keep up with everything has been getting to me. I've been living off of 12-17k a year for the past several and that's very low in the states, especially for someone with a lot of student debt
Don't get me wrong, in the past year I've been in a position that's one of the best in my life. I feel more calm and secure than I really ever have. But depression has still been managing to creep back in and I haven't had the extra funds to go see a professional again.
I'm going to continue working on myself, I dream of a day not too soon in the future where I'm really pulling my own weight. I have a dream of producing a lot of my own content for my sci-fi and fantasy worlds (I barely touch them since college, out of fear), I'm studying again, and making enough money. some part of me knows I have what it takes. I just hope it's sooner than later. In 5 years I don't want to still feel like I'm still scraping, at my wit's end just trying to put in the absolute minimum effort. it's not great for the self confidence
If you believe in me and want to invest in that future a bit, would you consider donating some? And please include somewhere I can properly reach and thank you, if you do <3 I'm not in an emergency yet, and I don't like asking for help, but it could take some of the edge off
If anyone sends me anything the first things it'll be going to is a cheap keyboard and another monitor, so I can keep a separate art station with my pc, to maybe help with the work/life separation and so I never have to unplug my tablet anymore. I think that'll help me focus on work a lot better. I'm also going to the doctor for the first time in almost 2 years on friday and I'm worried about how much it'll cost. rent and loan payments are also coming up and things are tighter this month than they've been in a long time :x
Thank you very much for reading and for those that have been with me for a long while ;u; I love yall and you make this all worth it
https://ko-fi.com/maneframe
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/maneframe
https://checkout.square.site/mercha.....RRAZ27GVZHMH33
I wish I had better advice, but you're awesome, and I hope you get something sorted out.
I used to take my ipad out of the house and work, pre-pandemic and when I had access to a vehicle. down to the couch might work now, I just.. have definitely grown dependent on having reference monitor and keybinds and all sorts of things I dont get with the ipad. but I have thought about using it for easier sketches again
Thank you very much~ ;u;
feel better soon, and I hope the doc will be easy on you and your wallet. much success!
Feel free to poke me as well~ I am easily lost and forget to do things
hopefully new adhd meds incoming soon will help