I'm done here. I'll keep my account just cuz I've got a lot of faves n' shit, but I absolutely am not putting anymore energy into maintaining this gallery. There's just too much fucking BS here nowadays. So either follow me on Inkbunny or Bluesky, or say goodbye to seeing new content.
https://inkbunny.net/TesseractParadox
https://bsky.app/profile/tesseractp.....ox.bsky.social
love you

Hey everyone! Things have not been easy this last year, but they are on the up! As some of you know, my spouse had a stroke last November and it was not fun, and she unfortunately had to move back to the UK to get affordable healthcare, and it may be some years before we are able to be together again. However, things for her condition have improved dramatically, and being apart has allowed me to focus on myself and my craft and I am making a move to go full time with my creativity. To that end, I have made a Bluesky account, please give me a follow if you also use bluesky

https://bsky.app/profile/tesseractp.....ox.bsky.social

I post regularly, and have even posted some stuff I've done fairly recently. I am also going to start livestreaming both art and gaming, starting this week with a spoopy gaming stream of Amnesia the Dark Descent, which I have not played in years. I hope some of you will consider joining me for some laughs and some scares and an all around good time :)

https://picarto.tv/TesseractParadox/

I am also fully fully open for commissions as this has now become my only source of income. I work on artwork almost constantly now, and will be posting an updated price sheet sometime soon, but for now these prices are what I go by.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/kjly.....54ztl&dl=0

If you have some coin and like my art, please consider buying something so I can keep myself fed and housed <3 I also plan to restart my patreon and continue making comics, which will include Cutiepocalypse. Things have been tough, but not tougher than me. I'm only gonna get bigger from here. I love you all and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Take care!

EDIT: lol of course I forgot something... my livestream will be this friday Oct 25th at 7pm cst

Have had one too many entitled shit heads comment on my work during the most difficult time of my life. Fucking done

Hey everyone. Arty has a discharge date from the hospital and my friend has started a gofundme to help her get more help after getting home. Please consider donating and sharing https://gofund.me/d4acdd10

So a lot of you have already been made aware of this, and I'm tired of telling the story but here we go...

Tuesday morning at about 4 or 4:30 am I woke up and didn't get a reply from Arty who I assumed was still awake over discord. I sensed something was wrong and found her unconscious on the floor of her office, moving and breathing but unable to be roused. I immediately called 911 and she was promptly taken to the hospital. After a grueling couple of hours waiting, I was brought in and told she had had a very serious bleeding stroke due to an unknown period of untreated high blood pressure. She has not been to the doctor since we've been married in 2009, having had no known health problems the entire time.

I went through my blame throwing phase and I'm well past it.

So she has been on a breathing tube since Tuesday, and the prognosis was... quite grim at first. They have placed a tube into her head that has been draining off her spinal fluid in an effort to reduce the pressure caused by the bleed. I was told it was quite possible she would not wake up. However, she has had an incredible outpouring of support and love from her friends and family. Her mom and dad were due to visit from the UK for Thanksgiving this week anyway, and I had to deal the blow of telling them she was on her way to the hospital for as-then unknown reasons as they boarded a 10 hour flight across the atlantic, unable to receive further updates until they landed Tuesday evening. Her sister also almost immediately booked a flight to come over once I let her family know. She is also here now.

I have done my best not to go to pieces over this. My entire world has been upheaved. I believe I have succeeded in keeping it together, despite a great many very intense, but also very brief breakdowns over her condition. I have been told I have done an amazing job learning about what's going on with her and keeping so many people up to date on things.

And her condition has indeed improved since she arrived. Her swelling has started to go down, and the hospital staff here have been nothing short of absolutely amazing. Today she actually woke up and despite being in an enormous amount of pain from the tube in her throat and her head being a trainwreck, she expressed excitement and happiness to see me and her friends and her family. I one hundred percent believe she will make it through this, and even as I start to cry again now, I know how strong she is, and how much she cares for all of us. She is trying her damnedest to come back to me, I know it.

This is just our latest adventure as a couple. We will see each other through it, and be stronger from it.

I love you all. And I don't care what you pray to, I would appreciate it if you pray for us.

EDIT: Just to be clear, "Arty" is indeed my spouse, also known as  kittybird
EDIT: if you want to ask me anything, or just talk, my discord is tesseractparadox

Hello, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Been a lot of ups and downs lately.

As some of you know, I recently invited  david_the_ultimate and his partner to move in with us. They needed somewhere to live and we needed help with the bills. It's been going well so far, and David has a new job here in BR

Well, the day before he was slated to start he began having car trouble. The car managed to limp its way through his first two shifts but then it died completely yesterday. Won't start. We're fairly sure it's an alternator issue but that's the fun with cars, you're never really sure what's going on until the auto shop tells you.

If it's not obvious, this has put a huge strain on us financially, so I wanted to let everyone know that I am open for commissions, as is my spouse  kittybird. You can find my commission info here. My turnaround has improved dramatically since I got my video tablet, so you won't be waiting very long for your piece.

I really appreciate you guys. If you can't get a commission or don't want one, maybe consider sharing my journal? I love you!

Since a couple of people have asked me, if you want to read Cutiepocalypse issue 1 you can find it on my gumroad here https://tesseractparadox.gumroad.com/
and can also find it at this public post on my patreon https://www.patreon.com/posts/cutie.....pse-1-71430768
you can also purchase the uncensored issue 2 at my gumroad page if you aren't interested in joining my patreon. Love you all

Hey guys, a while back I got suspended for posting a story I published on another website. Since then I haven't felt like posting anything here on FA. I have been drawing stuff, still, and been posting on inkbunny https://inkbunny.net/TesseractParadox

and I actually launched a patreon today, too. You can give it a look here https://www.patreon.com/derpasqueak
please consider joining, Im gonna be jobless soon ^^;

things have improved for me and KB now that I'm working full time (and hopefully very soon working from home, too) and I appreciate anyone who has pitched in to keep us afloat. However, a friend of mine is in a bit of a bind and needs some help. If anyone can spare a bit (I plan to) take a look at their situation and think about helping out https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9687384/

I've been wanting to make a speed paint for years.... so I finally did!

https://youtu.be/Er772LL_jec

like, comment, subscribe, you know the drill.

I have uploaded the first part of my book, Rise of the Chimera, to amazon kindle. you can purchase it here https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08F3ZF5T.....023&sr=8-1
I'm so excited and scared. Part 2 in september

Hey guys. Right now things are really difficult. What else is new, right? Don't want to info dump but my phone service was turned off the other day and that makes everything else even more difficult. I've been trying to get unemployment and I THINK I've finally figured out, but I'm still waiting to actually receive a payment, so at this point 100% that is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of my income is commissions. They have been trickling in but we really need more. I don't know what else to say. I work on commissions full time now, so my turnaround has improved dramatically. If you like what you've been seeing in my gallery lately, please throw me some money to get some art. There's nothing I cant draw and very little that I wont draw. Hit me up on discord if you have questions

It's time, guys! The stream has begun! Come join in on the madness and help us out!
http://picarto.tv/TesseractParadox

(I had a nice pic to upload as my stream post but it doesn't seem to want to upload :< come to the stream though and you'll get to see it!)

Yo, furs and non-furs! Tomorrow will be my epic gaming marathon stream! As discussed in a previous journal (or journals if you include those posted by Kittybird), I will be playing the ENTIRE HALF LIFE UNIVERSE. This includes Black Mesa (the remake of Half Life 1), Half LIfe 2, Half Life 2 Episode 1, Half Life 2 Episode 2, and Half Life: Alyx

Our goal is to make $750 in donations. This will allow us to catch up completely on our rent as well as get a headstart on next month's rent. If we reach or surpass our goal, not only will I play all the games listed, but I will also play DOOM ETERNAL. Again, I don't think I will be able to play it completely, but we will see how donations go.

So the schedule will be as follows:
12pm (noon) central time I will begin the stream and start with Black Mesa, and play it through to completion, maybe taking a bathroom break here or there.
After finishing Black Mesa, KB will take over and likely play Portal for a couple of hours while I rest
After two hours of KB gaming time, I will return and play ALL of Half Life 2
After I finish playing HL2, another two hours of KB while I take another break
Then, I will play both Half Life 2 Episode 1 and Episode 2 in one block
then one more 2 hour break with KB
and finish the stream by playing through Half Life: Alyx

And again, if we hit our goal, I will take one more break and then start on Doom Eternal, and go as long as I can or as long as donations keep coming in.

SO HERES SOME LINKS:
my stream: https://picarto.tv/TesseractParadox
our Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/kittybird
our paypal: paypal.me/kittybirdinks

Any questions you guys have feel free to post here, and there will be a starting post tomorrow when the stream starts! I love you all!!

Hey guys, so a big update. Thanks to some very generous friends, we have actually made our goal already XD

HOWEVER

I am still going ahead with the marathon, and as promised, I WILL play through ALL the standard Half Life games, AND all the way through Half-Life Alyx as well! We are still looking for donations, and the goal is still $750 BECAUSE as mentioned in my previous journal, this was to help us get caught up and not to actually cover the rent for next month. Since we are now caught up, the goal now is to cover next month's rent before it is due/late. If we reach our goal, we have a massive headstart covering May's rent and getting Kittybird a new phone. If we make more, that's great, we may not even have to worry about May's rent at all. And if we make less than our goal, we will still have fun gaming together :3

Since we've already reached our original stretch goal, I'm setting a new one. If we hit an additional $750 before I finish playing through Alyx, I will play Doom Eternal after I finish Alyx. That's right, Doom Eternal. It's not a half life game, of course, but it is a new installment to a very classic franchise that I have the ability to play for you all. And it should be hilarious because by then I'll be really tired XD

SO the plan is to start on Friday April 24th at 12pm CST. I will start with Black Mesa and continue until I finish the game (with the occasional bathroom break, or whatever). After this I will take a two hour break, during which  kittybird will take over and play one of her games. The games she plays will be determined by those present in the stream with her, probably based on donations.

Then I will play through Half Life 2, take another break, then I will play BOTH episode 1 and 2, then another break, and finally Alyx. IF we hit $750 before I finish, then I will take one more break before I start Doom Eternal. Depending on where we are with donations, I may or may not actually finish Doom Eternal. If things are still popping and we're still getting donations and I do not feel like I'm physically going to die if I keep gaming, I will keep playing. But we will have to see.

We're looking at probably a couple of days straight of me playing these games for you guys, so lets get those donations rolling in! Can't donate? Spread the word! Retweet, repost, tell your friends! We're gonna have fun, and I want you all to be there! <3<3<3<3

‘Sup, nerds? So things have been crazy, as I'm sure all of you are aware of at this point. Many of you know me and Kittybird had been struggling even before all this started due to me losing a well-paying job and essentially being unemployed for several months. I actually ended up losing my car, too, which hasn't helped anything. And now I'm unemployed again, But we have still managed to catch up on our bills and other than our rent, we are actually doing okay.

Speaking of the rent, we are still about a month behind, and thats if we can pay before the end of this month, which would make it two months behind. My stimulus check came in today, so we've got everything else sorted other than this. So to raise some extra funds to keep us housed, here's my idea:

THE ENTIRE HALF LIFE UNIVERSE

That's right, I am going to marthon the entirety of the half-life universe. We will start with the recently fully-released Black Mesa, the remake of the original Half-Life. I will play through the whole thing. Then ALL of Half Life 2, including episodes 1 and 2
and then...
IF we make our goal in time...
I will stream a playthrough of Half-Life: Alyx, the newest chapter of the Half-Life universe that is fully VR
I will attempt to play through each game completely before stopping (grouping episode 1 and 2 together), at which point I will take a 2 hour break where Kittybird will take over and play a game to be determined by donators!

We will begin on Friday April 24th in the afternoon (more specific times in a followup journal), and continue until all games are complete. Since  kittybird has announced this on her page, we have already received some donations, but we still have a long way to go. I am setting a goal of $750, even though that is less than what we actually need, I feel it's the most realistic. You guys are great and I know you'll help us out. Don't forget how much signal boosting can help!

And if you prefer to get something for your money more than just seeing me derp my way through some games, commissions are ALL the way open! Note or message me on discord for more info! Love you all!

Our gaming marathon has begun! Come join me and my lovely  kittybird for some fun times! I'll be starting us off with Portal!

https://picarto.tv/KittybirdandherShineyink

Been jobless for a while. Tried a job I wasn't sure about (selling insurance) and that didn't work out. Hated the work and as a result made zero dollars once I got out of training. So I'm behind on all my bills. Most notably my car note. Received a notice in the mail that if I don't pay by the 12th they're potentially going to come take the car.

So me and  kittybird are going to be working towards getting that taken care of. We're doing a commission/donation drive to cover the car note, with a goal of $600

KB also has plans to do a gaming marathon this weekend. Details here http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9337851/

Guys... I know I haven't posted a lot of art in recent years. It seems to come in little bursts. Its way less than what I want to do. I have issues. But every time I think about being a full time artist... I get this radically giddy feeling. Staying at home? Working my own schedule? Being my own boss? Yes please.

It has literally brought me to tears, multiple times in the last month or so, when I think about that possibility and then look down at where I am. I want so very, very badly to be a full time artist. I'm starting to cry right now as I write this. It doesn't feel fair to me. I feel crushed by it. I don't know what to do. I don't know what piece is missing.

Commissions are open. I love you all.
Signal boosting helps.

I've made a gofundme to try and... well if you want to know, just read. I just... I don't know how much more I can take. https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-tes.....hings-together


MAJOR UPDATE: I've gotten back from the OMV. Not sure why it never occurred to me that they would take installments. So my license is reinstated, and I just need to pay for the impound fees. Can hopefully take care of that tomorrow and be all set again at the beginning of next week

will be drawing a character and doing a few sketches today at 6pm cst over at https://picarto.tv/TesseractParadox
will be joined by my lovely  kittybird

Lost my job. Been chilling at home a bit. Car also died. So yeah

I've started streaming again. Come over to https://picarto.tv/TesseractParadox today at 5pm cst to watch me work on 3D model stuff
Will be joined by  kittybird who will also be streaming art stuff on her own channel https://picarto.tv/KittybirdandherShineyink

We have fun. Love you.

It takes me a long time to process things a lot. I wouldn't say that I am slow, just that my brain is... crowded. I have too many ideas, overthink things into oblivion, I have trouble just like...DOING it. Executive function disorder, I believe is the term. I have the desire, I have the time and opportunity, but some part of me just.. can't make that transition from not doing it to actually doing it.

I turn 35 this year. I'm not happy with how much I've created in the last few years. I have ideas, I have motivation, but... they never seem to go anywhere. I've talked about this before, and I feel like yes I have made progress, but something always seems to be lacking

I love my life. I finally have a good job, I have a beautiful wife, a decent home, a working car, some pets, some friends, you know... all that good stuff. But my inner creativity is screaming at me. I know I CAN, I know that I WANT TO, but I just... don't.

I've read a lot about the subject. I'm coming to a point where I realize the problem is the transition. Once I START working, I generally keep going for a while, even if I stumble a great deal along the way. But it's that one point between not working and working that seems to be the problem.

My life is kind of... chaotic. Not in like a literal way, but like... Things seem to keep happening unpredictably. It's hard to make a schedule when things don't happen according to a plan. Sure, I know what shift I'm going to work this week, and for the next like... four weeks, but I have almost no idea when I get home from work on these days. With my job, I could be home right when my shift ends, be done when my shift ends but have to drive an hour or more to get home, be STILL working two hours after my shift is over, or any number of scenarios basically preventing me from making plans after work.

I've been trying to do more in the mornings, as a result. Hence this post. I have been working more, both at my job and on art, though it is still really inconsistent and sporadic. I want to change that. I want to work on creative stuff every day. And not the kind I sometimes get stuck on, what with making meaningless lists of stuff that don't take the project anywhere, just clog it up with unnecessary details.

I want to do more, I want to BE more. I want my life to be about sharing what I think are my good ideas with you guys, whether their good stories, cool characters, awesome porn, or just little snippets that I think are funny or entertaining. I want to be a content creator, not a content consumer. I like to think I'm getting there, but... time will tell, I guess.

I love you guys, thanks for sticking around.

Taken from  kittybird's journal


Okay so, here's an update. The car repairs are still going on, and unfortunately that means the price has gone back up closer to the original statement, which means over $1000, which includes labor and that might go up again too. Since Tess cannot go back to work until the car is completely repaired, and they won't release the car until the full payment is made, we still need more help.

And I hate to say it, but this is the situation we're in. So I propose that from 4 pm Saturday evening, I will be doing a gaming and art marathon. I will start with 2 hours of gaming, unless I have any commissions pending, which at this point, I do (I may finish them today). Then, after gaming, if someone has commissioned me, switch to that. Once that commission is finished I will do another 2 hours of gaming. I will continue this pattern as long as Im physically able to. However, if there is a game I have that someone would prefer me to play or continue, a $15 donation will secure an additional two hours of play. If I have to stop before I have reached the allotted donation gaming time, I will pick it up another time of the donator's choosing.

Also, be on the lookup for an update in the next few days about a growth drive me and Tess are planning to do together. Hopefully it will also generate some good funding for us.

We really need help guys. This really blindsided us and it has cost us a massive amount of money due to lost work time as well as many tons of stress. Tips and gratuities can be put through my ko-fi, commissions will go through my paypal (shineykittybird@gmail.com). We love you all and you are amazing people and we hate to come to you with cap in hand but this has the potential to be a very serious situation for us. I want to help Tess get back on her feet as much as I physically can, because I love her so very much.

Any money made over our goals will go to a good cause. Thank you guys. You rock.

STREAM: https://picarto.tv/KittybirdandherShineyink
PAYPAL: ShineyKittybird[at]gmail.com
KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/kittybird

(this is a vent journal, expect lots of caps and swearing)



so lets start with my tax refund
probably one of the biggest I've ever gotten
things have been tough for me and KB these last couple of years so I said "fuck it Im getting us a goddamn switch with that money so we can play breath of the wild, one of the coolest games Ive ever seen"
and there would still be PLENTY left after that, especially since a friend of mine said they would pay for half the switch if I got a game we could play together
so I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait
two whole months after I do my taxes
more, I think, but it finally gets deposited
and Im so excited that I jump on ebay and get a switch for a good price
this was... Thursday
no, Wednesday
I had planned this as a surprise for KB, so I hadnt mentioned a word of it to her
and good news, it says the switch will be here monday, so I even try and get off work that day
on thursday, Im scheduled 4 to close, so like 2am
two hours into my shift my car breaks down ~_~

and the place I go to for repairs is closed, so AFTER paying for the fucking tow I have to walk back to work and get told I can go home. At this point its okay, they'll open in the morning and fix the car and Im not due into work until 2:30
TURNS OUT THE PART THEY NEED IS IN FUCKING MADAGASCAR OR SOME SHIT

it takes them from 8 when they open till about 1 to figure this out
on a friday afternoon
so guess when this shit got sorted out
if your guess was IT HASNT YET YOURE RIGHT
I have been scheduled every day since this happened and missed every one of them
but hey, turns out the switch is gonna get delivered early, on Saturday, and as much as it sucks Im off right?
NOPE
It said "out for delivery" "Expect on may 12th by 8pm" UNTIL FUCKING 12:17AM ON SUNDAY
then it just changes to this vague-as-fuck "delayed" message with absolutely no way for me to get a clearer answer
I can only HOPE that it gets delivered today and I have SOMETHING good happen

oh, and guess how much the repairs on my car are going to cost?

MORE THAN THE REST OF MY REFUND
so instead of getting a goddamn leg up FOR ONCE, Im pretty much IN THE NEGATIVE
ESPECIALLY AFTER MISSING ALL THIS FUCKING WORK
not to mention I have overdue library books I could not return and now have a ton of late fees, no pet food so my pets are getting really antsy...

had I a functioning car I could just go to the fucking grocery store and buy pet food
but the car should be fixed today.
sighs
Honestly, this wouldnt be that much of a big deal if I didnt feel like this thing, this reward for me and KB that Ive been planning for literal months now didnt feel irreversably tainted by all this stress I've gone through this weekend. Like even when I've FUCKING EARNED something good, the universe has to fold its arms and be a brat about it and go "nope, no, nu uh"

oh, and the cherry on top
someone at work who I thought I was my friend either accidentally or on purpose got me in trouble over a rage tweet


this journal was formatted from a series of posts in a chatroom, sorry if its a little incoherent as a result

You were a good bunny...