I'm done talking to people about their problems, I'm not doing it anymore. It's not like anyone does anyway unless I come to them about it. I'm tired of feeling like I waste my breath for telling people to come talk to me if they're upset and it never happens but I still see them posting things of them being upset. I'm tired of getting ignored when I'm upset and want to chat or to even just chat and if someone does talk to me it's just to tell me to stop being emo.

So why is it that when I get upset and want to talk it's being emo but if someone else does that they get talked to and made to feel better? I'm also tired of people complaining they have no one to talk to, no one to hang out with, no one to play games with or anything, or that no one responds to them when I'm always here for people to talk with or respond and regardless of how little something there is we could do it's still something so you have no right to say there is nothing.

I'm tired of feeling like I only exist to people when it suits their fancy but then get ignored almost any other time. Not saying it's everyone, there are a couple that aren't like that, but don't expect me to come to you or even talk about a problem anymore. You say you have no one? Well fine I'll act like no one then, I'm over it and it's honestly bullshit

How's that for emo?

Well for my first con I will say this, "That was freakin *higherpitch* awesooome"

I had the time of my life and everyday was a blast. Left Wed. night and had to sleep in my van cause I derped.

Thursday: I made it there early morning so nothing was really going on. Started setting up camp, wondered around and surveyed the area, got my net set up for volley ball, bad mitten, and all that. Also helped set up the kitchen a little bit and started getting to know some furs from the surrounding areas and played some games.

Friday: It really started getting awesome here, did a little volunteering here and there, ate breakfast, played some Uno, a twisted version of Bad Mitten, Croquet, went to the river with a group where we played 10,000, a warped game of monkey in the middle which was awesome, water gun and splash fight, played some more Uno. Later that night was the Awkward Dance Party which was really awesome as well as me getting drunk, did a little star gazing with a group but couldn't give the full focus I wanted so I turned in for the night.

Saturday: There was Twister which was all funny cause  kelaii was being aggressive most of the time and knocking people over with his flexible Twister skills >.< The epic water fight which was epically awesome. I totally soaked everyone with my V8 bottle *superman pose* and ended up hiding under a trash bin that had been used to hold a mass of water balloons that were being tossed in every direction. Went all recon in Lazar Tag where I dominated EVERYONE *Mandark laugh* no I'm kidding but I did do really good most of the rounds and it was really awesome. Then There was more dancing to be had where I danced my tail off (almost), I didn't know I could dance that much or even at all >.<

Sunday: There was the Best Butt contest that I actually participated in >//> lots of water time spent under the waterfall where I almost lost my glasses, waterfall felt great. Made an arctic fox mask during the Mask Making event which was pretty neat, Had another Crazy Croquet Course, there was also a thunder storm that passed around us which made it all the better, a Kite was flown during said storm. Wasn't me but was still cool and worth mentioning, Battle of the Brightest which was really awesome and I got to dress up in glow sticks which I will be posting a picture of.

Monday: Felt like a lazy day, was fairly sore by this day and my ankle was bothering me from different activities but I didn't let it get me down. Had closing ceremonies, some clean up, took down my camp, said good byes and got contact info, wondered a little bit, and after I said my last goodbyes I headed home.

Miscellaneous:  x_panther made fantastic food which kept me fed and going like the energizer bunny, lots of Uno was played, jokes were made constantly so I laughed a lot, got to follow some Glow Birds around camp which was really cool, a bunch of people got me wet through out the con, I got even more people wet through out the con ;D, got to keep some really cool souvenirs which are cool, got really dirty but was able to shower thanks to Crazy Joe, it was hot and I was mostly in shorts, met some really awesome people and had tons of fun.

All in all I had the time of my life (I said that already) and I really needed a break from things which this event gave me and I'm very glad I was able to attend. To those of you who couldn't come or didn't know about it, YOU MUST COME NEXT YEAR. Here's a link for those of you who didn't know about it so you can keep your eye out for next year http://campfiretails.org/2012/ In closing my only regret from going is having to go on a year long "errand" before I can come back, can't wait to see everyone who attended and hopefully some new faces next year ^^

Just something I thought was neat so I filled it out :3

Bear
[ ]-you're the guy/gal nobody wants to mess with
[ ]-you're quite lazy, and don't like the cold
[ ]-you're the biggest in your group of friends
[X]-you are easy to get angry, especially when protecting those that are close
[X]-you are a big eater, and will eat more than everyone else at the table
[ ]-you frighten others easily, but get frightened easily yourself
[ ]-you let your muscles do the talking
[X]-you like to eat berries and fish
[ ]-you can sleep for days on end
[ ]-you're the "warrior" of the group

Total Points = 3

Wolf
[X]-you look out for those that are close to you, and are fiercely loyal
[X]-you prefer to stay in small groups of friends
[X]-you are protective of what you have, and can sometimes be greedy
[X]-you are tough, and can handle smaller injuries
[ ]-most people adore you
[X]-you like to run in wide open spaces
[X]-you're favourite game is tag
[X]-you snarl over things that annoy you
[X]-you enjoy to play fight
[ ]-you're the "knight" of the group

Total Points = 8

Cat
[X]-you prefer to be alone but don't mind having close friends
[X]-you are lean and agile
[ ]-you prefer to be up high/on top of something
[ ]-you think of yourself as the leader of the group
[X]-your mood can change dramatically in a second
[ ]-you purr when you're enjoying something
[ ]-most people think you're cute and cuddly
[ ]-when your angry people tend to avoid you
[X]-you are clever and quick-witted
[X]-you're the "stealthy one" of the group

Total Points = 5

Owl
[X]-you are very perceptive, and have great vision
[X]-you stay up most of the night, and sleep in longer than most
[ ]-you don't eat much, but what you do eat sates your hunger
[X]-you are very fast and stealthy
[X]-you prefer to pick your foes off one at a time
[ ]-you are double jointed
[X]-you can move almost silently when the need arises
[X]-you have long sharp finger nails
[ ]-you are known as very beautiful
[ ]-you're the "archer" of the group

Total Points = 6

Fox
[X]-you are clever, and let your wits settle your problems
[X]-you are fast, and able to escape danger easily
[X]-you are the weakest in your group, but not necessarily the easiest prey
[X]-you are stealthy, and prefer to avoid conflict when possible
[X]-you would rather get into you enemy's head rather than their face
[X]-you are agile but clumsy sometimes
[X]-you have red hair
[X]-you don't like others being where they're not suppose to be
[X]-you enjoy sneaking up on people
[ ]-you're the "thief" of the group

Total Points = 9

Deer
[ ]-you like to be around a lot of people, and stick with crowds
[X]-you can escape danger with pure speed and endurance
[X]-most consider you the easiest prey
[X]-you aren't very strong, but when you're angry you can pack a punch
[ ]-most consider you very graceful
[x]-you have very acute senses, especially hearing and smelling
[ ]-you are a vegetarian
[ ]-you love the ballet
[ ]-gymnastics are your specialty
[ ]-you're the "cleric" of the group

Total Points = 4

Bat
[X]-nighttime is your time to shine
[X]-the daylight blinds you a lot
[ ]-you don't see very well or at all
[ ]-you'd rather fly than walk
[X]-you are known as different
[ ]-you have big ears and/or long fingers
[ ]-you like hanging upside down
[X]-you like sleeping during the day
[X]-you're "One of a Kind"
[X]-you're the "spy" of the group

Total Points = 6

Rat
[ ]-you're considered evil and dark and sometimes emo
[ ]-you like areas that are damp and dark
[ ]-you practice or want to practice magic or the dark arts
[X]-you prefer candle light over regular light
[ ]-your favorite color is black
[ ]-you love things that have to do with skulls or death
[ ]-you have a demon inside of you struggling to get out
[X]-you enjoy being alone
[ ]-you hate your parents/siblings
[ ]-you're the "death" of the group

Total Points = 2

Mouse
[ ]-you're very timid and skittish around almost anything
[ ]-you're the one most bullies can stuff into a locker
[ ]-cats scare you
[ ]-you have nightmares almost every night
[x]-you still sleep with a stuffed animal
[ ]-night lights are your best friends
[ ]-your meals are quite small
[ ]-you have friends that you can hide behind
[ ]-you are known as being quiet and baby cute
[ ]-you're the "coward" of the group

Total Points = 1

Pig
[ ]-you're known as being smelly and uncleaned
[ ]-you sleep in trash
[X]-eating is your favorite sport
[ ]-chocolate and pizza are considered healthier snacks than apples to you
[ ]-you sometimes wear the same clothes for two weeks in a row
[ ]-showers and soap are your worst enemy/nightmares
[ ]-you tend to break wind a lot
[ ]-mud is your best friend
[ ]-your house is a mess but you don't care
[ ]-you're the "slob" of the group


Total Points = 1

Monkey
[X]-you're happy-go-lucky and random
[X]-you love eating bananas
[ ]-you are known as cute but dangerous
[X]-you love swinging and heights
[X]-you are awesome at climbing trees
[X]-you know how to say things in sign language
[X]-playing is your specialty
[X]-you enjoy joking around
[X]-you can stay awake forever if you wanted to
[X]-you're the "fun one" of the group

Total Points = 9

Snake
[ ]-you love being evil and mean
[ ]-you're the type to smash people into a wall
[X]-you carry a knife with you at all costs
[ ]-you've had over 10 girlfriends/boyfriends
[X]-you're no longer a virgin
[ ]-you've been arrested before
[X]-you love partying
[ ]-you usually eat your meals whole or chew only twice or so
[ ]-leather is epic to you
[ ]-you're the "criminal" of the group

Total Points = 3

Final Result: Looks like Fox and Monkey got the highest with wolf coming in a close second. Maybe I should be an Arctic Folfkey :P

By the way, Fox would have gotten the highest but I'm not a thief *stern nod*

*sigh* so I lost my van. I ran out of gas cause I thought I could have made it home with what I had so I had to push it into the nearest parking lot. Well the lady that owns the lot absolutely "NEEDS" all her parking spaces for her oh so tiny and busy coffee shop, which out of all the times I've gone by there for work I've only seen two people there to get coffee, and she has a horrible attitude so I don't know how she runs a business anyway.

She was rude to me almost from the beginning and wouldn't try to work something out and she acted like a fat snob. Needless to say my van is gone, I would need 350$ today to get it back and it goes up 50$ every 24 hours it's in the impound, I'm broke.

Yay for people, I hate money grubbing people...

Also I won't be able to go to CFT now unless I can get a ride and I already paid for that too =\

UPDATE: Well my grand parents helped me get my van back in an odd turn of events. Still have to pay the 350$ but the guy made an error so it was only 300$ to get it back. But I'm glad to have my van back and a way to get to CFT.

I'm not going to be nice and try to help people anymore, all it gets me is shit on and treated badly so I'm done. No I'm not going to go out of my way to be an ass or be rude but there will be no nice, it's not worth the crap I put up with for people who don't deserve help

So as the title states my life is going to take a change. I'm tired of the crap I get from people, or lack there of, and I don't want to just sit and work part time barely making it by month to month and only saving little money.

Part of the reason I moved was to go to school, I had heard lots of good things about living here and the schools and what not plus I had friends and a job I could transfer with. The only thing holding me back was the financial aspect of going to school, but that has mostly changed. I have applied for student aid so that I may go to school and for now things with that are looking good. With what I was told there shouldn't be any problem and if things go as planned I should be able to start school for winter term this year.

As of now I'm going for general education and will go from there, provided things go good of course. So for anyone who reads this, wish me luck and support cause I'm a little nervous and scared. But happy and giddy, looking forward to the things that come.

Do you think this describes me? If so how much or what do you think is different?

Virgo-Libra cusp
Those born on the Virgo-Libra cusp enjoy beauty and all things sensual. They may find themselves drawn to the arts, attractive people, and precious objects or wish to make themselves and their surroundings more pleasing to the eye. They have a great mind for details, and do a terrific job running a business or planning a large gathering because of this talent.

Virgo-Libra may be conflicted in some areas. While both signs Virgo and Libra are concerned with taste and aesthetics, they can lack in emotional or intuitive areas. They may find that what is pretty on the outside isn't so nice on the inside. Ultimately to be happy, they need to make the inside beautiful, too.

If they want to succeed, they should stop being so concerned with appearances. They should keep their search for beauty alive, and try to keep from becoming compulsive or cynical. They should not neglect their spirituality or get too caught up in materialism.

Virgo-Libra is responsible and they attempt to be as fair as possible. They are good team workers, but they can lack self-confidence. They are polite and open-minded, but they love a good debate. Kind and considerate, they rarely show their anger in public. Instead, they may use some subtle way to get even.

Virgo-Libra is health-conscious, which helps them take good care of themselves and their children. They like to exercise, though they do have a definite lazy streak. Think of the cat, stretched out in the sunny patch on the sofa: that is Virgo-Libra. Exercise is more appealing when they can socialize at the same time.

In love, those born on the Virgo-Libra cusp are romantic, devoted and playful. They pick up the important little details that delight their partner. They want a peaceful, harmonious relationship. They can see all sides of a situation which can make them very just, but can prove maddening to those around them at times.

They may have issues with being satisfied. No matter how good something is, they can still see flaws. If something is imperfect, they are inclined to get rid of it. Tiny flaws will eat at them until they can get them fixed.

Persons born on the cusp of Virgo-Libra are practical, hard working, diligent, meticulous, attractive, logical, charming, shy, modest, efficient, romantic, devoted and polite. They can also be unfair, aloof, easily influenced, self-indulgent, fussy, insecure, have hypochondriac tendencies and indecisive. The Cusp of Beauty sounds pleasant, but it can be a harsh taskmaster.

They love nature and their feet are firmly grounded. Their heads are still way up in the air, though. They may be artistic, or be able to design their home in the most aesthetic styles. They like science.

NOTE: I did not make any of this up, This was copy and pasted from this link ---> http://www.alwaysastrology.com/sun-signs.html#cusp <---

This is how I feel about people as well as how I am as a friend

So for those of you who really know me and about my accident about a year and half ago I have an update. For those who don't know, around said time ago, Feb 14th, I fell 60-70 feet off a flat top mountain called Tablerock. I'm completely fine in regards to health but the thing that weighed heavily on my mind was the huge medical bill that loomed over me, which here in lays the update.

After many months of worry, nagging (family), and trying to get it taken care of, the hospital has completely written off my debt to them! The 200k+ bill no longer exist and when I heard those words I felt a huge relief and burden lifted off me which brought me to tears.

I'm so happy right now ^_^~

What's with people not answering or only messaging you when they want something? Especially if they say you're a friend or proclaim all this nice crap about? or how many of you have run into two faced jerks who say they want to be friends, are nice to you infront of people, but then talk a bunch of shit behind your back and ignore all attempts of friendship or like?

I'm honestly starting to lose faith in people again and it's really sad. I try to talk to people and I'm sorry if I come as clingy or anything, I haven't had the greatest life. But that doesn't mean ignore mean or be rude, if you don't like something just tell me or just plain tell me you don't want to be friends, it's not that difficult to say that you're too busy to talk...

This song is so depressingly beautiful...

So is an awesome artist with great stuff so far and I really think you should check their journal and art for that matter so go go go :D

I feel so happy right now. My job is going great, plenty of opportunities, I can actually say I have friends I can count on and feel good about it, finally have a real bed after god only knows how long, have made a lot of progress within myself, never felt physically better, and I have been feeling more and more good since I've moved.

I'm actually in tears right now. I'm just so glad to have the things I do and know the people I do now and having friends like you, I wouldn't know where I'd be right now if it weren't for your support and just being there.

From the bottom of my heart I thank you greatly for your friendship and hope to continue such friendships with you. I know I have been a little upset about some things lately but I'm still going through some hard times and I'm working through them.

Expect to see a happier fox in the future.

so what do you guys think of holidays? To me they fucking suck, got no family to really spend them with cause they're too broken or far away, no friends to hang with cause they're with family or other friends, and I never have anyone special to celebrate them with. The only holiday I like is Halloween cause I get to be creative and scare the shit out of people so that's fun.

Also if you have feelings for someone and you're trying to move past them, how are you suppose to do that if you keep seeing things that would point toward the opposite? Kinda bullshit if you ask me since it's difficult enough already. Don't want to mess things up with said individual cause he is an awesome friend and I need more friends like him but what can you do? *shurgs*

Also how do you approach someone who treats you friendly in front of people but then when no one is around or it's online they don't act like a friend at all? Any suggestions?

Let's see, trying to think of things since I'm sure this is going to give me a lot of flack from people if certain people read this (which is highly unlikely anyway but still) ummm... job is ok since the boss' like me a bunch, fuck the dicks who don't cause they don't mean shit. Also I'm typing this while getting drunk so I may swear some if you haven't noticed already. Did I mention I hate all holidays except for Halloween? Got a ref sheet by oh people ignore me or cast me aside for other people, also I feel like I come second to everyone or anything.

Heh I can see the repercussions of this journal but I need an outlet or I'm going to explode so here you go let's see, got little money to do anything which is why I'm not with family right now. Or friends for that matter. Oh, people not taking me seriously when I ask things on FB or FA. I think that's about it for now, stay tuned for more bitching though

What do you think of when you want to be romantic? What kinds of things would you do with your loved one if you had one or do?

Be Honest :3

What if~
♥ I died:
♥ I kissed you:
♥ I fell:
♥ I lived next door to you:
♥ I showed up at your house unexpectedly:
♥ I stole something:
♥ I was murdered:
♥ I cried:
♥ I asked you to marry me:
♥ I was hospitalised:
♥ I was turned into a zombie:


~What do you think about my~
x Personality:
x Eyes:
x Hair:
x Family:
x Smile:

~Would you~
♪ Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?
♪ Keep a secret if I told you one?
♪ Hold my hand?
♪ Study with me?
♪ Cook for me?
♪ Love me?
♪ Date me?

Answer Honestly :3

~Have you ever ~
☼ Lied to make me feel better?
☼ Wanted to kiss me?
☼ Wanted to kill me?
☼ Broke my heart?
☼ Thought I was unbearably annoying?
☼ Hated me?
☼ Wanted to tell me something but didn't?
☼ Wondered about my sanity?
☼ Wanted to do something to me?

~More ~
► When and how did we meet?
► Describe me in three words.
► What was your first impression of me?
► What do you think of me now?
► What reminds you of me?
► Could you see us together forever?
► When's the last time you saw me?
► Are you gonna re-post this to see what I say about you?

I have an idea, a craft idea, that I think people would like. I actually have a couple but I want to work on the first one first, so expect to see something coming in the next month or so. It's really neat and I would like your guys' opinion on the idea once it's done ^^

Well I'm sure if you read the title and are reading this now, then you know it's not a contest to get a book. But if you would like to learn more about what the contest is about then I urge you to head to 's journal to find out.


DO EET >:l

Yes as the title says this will be a free fursuit contest though it's only a partial you should still go for it :3 Just head to  dagger~'s journal to learn how to enter in such a great opportunity ---> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3279857/ <--- :D

Just letting everyone know that I shall be representing my fursona's twin Alexander. Please note and comment on Alex's page if you wish to contact me and refer to me as such from now on. You can find the link on my page :3

Get some ears :D

"What?"

"I said get some ears!"

"What???"

"GET SOME EARS!"

Ahem, you'll find a good chance at getting some ears from by following this link here ---> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3227715/ <--- Unless you're blind in which case follow me :D

So I have a question for people. If someone were to ask you if you were a furry and started questioning you about it, would you lie and hide it? Just saw a journal about it so I'm curious to see what you guys have to say. Me personally I wouldn't lie or hide it, but give my best explanation of what it is and how I feel about it.

So I've been thinking and I would like people to give their honest opinion of me, and I mean honest so say how you really feel. I'm not going to be mad at anyone for what they say and you can even send me a PM about it. No drama or anything I just would really like to know, so tell me your opinion and weather you think I'm open or outgoing enough to and with people or not.

This is for, as what the title says, self growth so I can grow better as a person and friend, perhaps even a relationship.

So not only have I moved, started at a new store, feel better, and my computer is working I've uh... done all those things :D Except my computer working is thanks to  winterwusky as well as my new place of residence. But I am much glad to be out of that place that has been a whirlpool of bad experiences and entrapment while now being able to explore a new place and meet new people as well as being closer to good friends.

Though I miss the ones I was living near I will still be able to visit time to time and know you are not forgotten ^^

In case there's anyone who's worried about my sudden abscense, my computer crapped out on me so I have close to no internet access. In other news I'm continuing to get better though some things are still holding me back but I'm moving around them. I've also got some great news in which shale be known in the form of me moving(finally) by the 7th out of this god foresaken place I currently live in.

Yes my transfer went through and I shall start a new chapter in my life on the 8th and hope this year continues to brings more good than bad. So please be patient with my replys to messages and such and know that I'm still around.