Hello all the dearest! <3

This Journal shouldn't be here, but things took a different angle of growth even though I kept pointing them in a different direction. I'm telling you exactly what it is.

When I was in the hospital, I had nothing to do and I wrote a lot about Treka (if I can still call her that), I thought a lot about her. Then, when things got even harder, when I felt like it, all I could think about was her. For a long time this was my main topic of thought, and it is so far. I came up with a few ideas, but the most important was the biography. I had a few conceptions, but I couldn't finish any of them until I figured out why. what's going on? It is possible that my character will undergo a rework, there is a very good chance of that. When I first thought of her here, I wanted her to represent me to a very large extent, to be just me but with fur. At first it looked wonderful and easy, but when I faced the first major challenge, it turned out that nothing is as it should be with her. My character is not just a fiction here, but a true friend in my head. a sociable spirit that always keeps me company. Exactly, a ghost.. When I decided to develop things with her further, I realized that I couldn't create another me. It's just not possible. I accepted the fact that she will not represent me in 100% and will only contain references to me, but she will be reworked in a nice, creative and extensive way in my opinion.

I didn't reveal it before, but in the beginning, Treka had a different purpose for me. By the time I came up with her name, she was already in another world, literally. a world in my head, a world that's happening simultaneously with ours. I tried to lead 2 lives this way, now I see it's inconvenient. Remember Treka's feature about changing the color shade of her red accent? it wasn't just my imagination, I mean... it was. She comes from a certain land. I don't want to give spoilers because I'm sure I'll upload it here someday. It is a land full of fantasy. combination of kingdoms, villages, magic, old times in general, or just not developed. Treka takes her place there as a magical creature, a rare fennec species that, along with other rare species, appeared with the magical energy of this land, has special skills, spells, at least that's the theory. The question is, isn't it all going too far into this fantasy world? that's right.. It makes me sad.

What about her? what about my second self? I would really like to answer that ;/ Her topic has gone so high that probably even her name will be changed, I already have a few in mind. By that, I mean I also keep an eye on her whole backstory, personality, pretty much everything. The rest will come when I develop it. But now, I have to combine 2 topics that I've tried to keep apart and unfortunately I think she's going to face changeable times. What does it mean? quite a lot. And that's sad stuff. Many of you have imagined Treka, and a handful of you have poured my thoughts into visualizations. This may all be out of date.. First Treka portrait, Treka rising from the ashes, most of the plans, schemes and thoughts for her. I don't know what will happen with her yet, I'll find out when I delve even deeper into the world she lives in, I'm already after writing the next page of this.

From this place, I would like to apologize to all of you. With my mind still damaged, I tried to get the last drops of motivation out of it to imagine her. I started this topic too quickly, glad that it went smoothly, not thinking that it might get harder over time. Now I felt it because I was immediately thrown between 2 paths and I don't know which one to go now ;/ But what I know now for sure is that Treka can't stay as she is now. If I want to surround her with a bigger, more meaningful and true biography, biography which is also my second world, I would really like it. If I don't offend any of you with this, I will try to do my best to keep Treka in some part the Treka you associate ;3 maybe her name, appearance will change, but the species and white-red fur will remain ;3 I don't know yet about these compromises, I just need to develop it even more but I'm afraid to go in there because of you dears.. What should I do? I would be very grateful for any kind of advices from any of you x.x