i know i havnt posted much. honestly, i was scared to even attempt art. or anything for that matter. i had a lot of mental issues and i saw myself as a failure. i felt like anything i do will be a horrible failure by default just because im the one doing it. but eventually i was informed of a organization that helps disabled people (phisical and mental) live independently. they helped me get health insurrance and i was finaly able to afford therapy. i studied psychology and had a good therapist and now i feel way better. i am well aware of myself and my problems and i can critique myself, catch myself starting to do something bad like project my problems or get angry or blame myself or having a PTSD episode, and i can stop myself and direct myself to act more productively. have more confidence. and i got past my video game addiction. so now my autistic brain is hyper focused on my art. to anyone reading this who suffers with mental troubles, there is hope out there. please, seek the help u need. youre not as horrble as you think you are.