Last journal 8 years ago, geez. How much things have changed since then. I’m completely different. I’m exactly the same.

I’ve been burnt out on art since 2019. Severe burnout. I stopped taking commissions, was unable to ship things, couldn’t keep up with responsibilities. I still can’t, but I’m working on it. I worked retail for a couple years, something I thought would never happen again, I was set on my career path as an artist! But it was pretty fun, I worked at a spice shop.

I’ve been making art in Procreate, mostly loose, for fun pieces, where I’m not as concerned with the perfection and toxic inner criticism that led to burn out. So I’ll be uploading a mixture of pre-burnout art, sometimes with my old name on it, and newer explorative art, with my new Æ signature. Unless I forget to sign it, that hasn’t changed.

I chose Æmber Fish as a new name. The letter æ, ash, is a symbolic burning my old name. I generally go by Fish, and Vantid and Æmber is just fine.

I also make incense now! This is another reason behind my name. Handcrafting incense from resins, roots, barks, and leaves is my happy place, and someday I’d love to get around to selling it. But I’m still not there yet.

I’m taking small steps, and very slowly reemerging.