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Category All / All
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File Size 476.3 kB
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Oh, and there's got to be a kid in it, a dog too. Make sure the kid is allowed unchaperoned onto super classified secret to everyone military bases to wander around asking questions.
Oh, and ALIENS! Got to have aliens.
ZOMBIES! Yes, I hear those are popular too.
EXPLOSIONS!
GIANT MECHS!
LENSFLARE!
Right, so let's have a good movie with a boxer coming out of retirement to teach his son how to fight in giant armored mechs that are transported back in time through huge explosions to fight the alien monsters through the power of lens flares that blind the aliens. But you're not done, because they are ALIEN ZOMBIES whom swarm the mech and the boxer has to get out and fight one on one with the zombie swarm to protect a young woman and her even younger brother with his dog. Don't bother naming her- this comedy love interest will only make it through this movie to be replaced entirely with another person in the sequel. Keep the dog though.
Alright, let's get a move on it! Action!
Oh, and ALIENS! Got to have aliens.
ZOMBIES! Yes, I hear those are popular too.
EXPLOSIONS!
GIANT MECHS!
LENSFLARE!
Right, so let's have a good movie with a boxer coming out of retirement to teach his son how to fight in giant armored mechs that are transported back in time through huge explosions to fight the alien monsters through the power of lens flares that blind the aliens. But you're not done, because they are ALIEN ZOMBIES whom swarm the mech and the boxer has to get out and fight one on one with the zombie swarm to protect a young woman and her even younger brother with his dog. Don't bother naming her- this comedy love interest will only make it through this movie to be replaced entirely with another person in the sequel. Keep the dog though.
Alright, let's get a move on it! Action!
I heard that one was Eddie Selzer.
Schlesinger was actually the closest thing they had to a dream executive - even though he had a combover and yacht, he would give instructions like "Put in more jokes, jokes are funny" and leave them alone. "Put in more purple, purple'th a funny color." If only I had execs like that...
Schlesinger was actually the closest thing they had to a dream executive - even though he had a combover and yacht, he would give instructions like "Put in more jokes, jokes are funny" and leave them alone. "Put in more purple, purple'th a funny color." If only I had execs like that...
Dear god, every exec out there. I can't even remember these movies two weeks later, because they all sound the same in my head. "After he learns to believe in himself, he defeats the experts soundly." Save the Cat. I measure movies these days by how badly their 'save the cat' quotient gets in the way of being interesting.
My college Rhetoric instructor remembered his brother sold a project to Universal, and he got the script job. And he remember the producers would actually call him and ask "Where does he save the cat?" and reference the book chapter and verse in their arguments. It pissed him off so much he quit and went into mumblecore.
John Kricfalusi had a really damn funny post about executive language. "We need a Scooby beat and a character arc in here." That sort of thing. (The character always goes from one pole to the other, with no interesting curves. Really damn boring, and painfully obvious.) "
http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/sear.....cutive%20tales
"Let's run it up the flagpole and see if it sticks"
"We need a Scooby Beat here"
"We need to lay in a pipeline..."
From Steve (also known as Spaz):
"This is bald, but..." (the whole idea isn't there yet, but here's a start...)
"what's the story arc" ( supposedly all characters need an "arc";
beginning/middle/end; and apparently so does the story)
"internal logic" ( the public won't get it)
"it's a buy" (idiots sign off on it)
"it has no payoff" (who knows; I still can't figure out if it's a gay term)
"yelling is never funny, spaz" (this is what a Disney exec told me)
"it needs a turn" (the story is linear and needs a twist; why? don't ask me)
"I'll knit it together" (put 2 paragraphs together)
"it dovetails nicely" (segues into another idea)
"if you pull that string, it all unravels" (gay term again, about dangling ideas')
"too much pipe" ( this one always got me; i think it means the opposite of "it needs a turn")
"it's just chuffa" ( a hebrew term for "fluff")
Or Anon describing his pitch to a new exec who came to the meeting ten minutes late, still on his cell phone -
"I never actually got to say anything for the ass-ec quickly launched into a full flurry of buzz words to describe the series he was looking for: "fresh," "hip," "hot," "out of the box," and the ever popular "cutting edge," which I happened to be fantasizing about applying to his jugular at that moment. As an added bonus, he became intensely involved in examining his right shoe, to the point he removed his Bass weejun and traced his finger over the stitching while continuing to blather on about "narrative arcs," "the heroes' journey," "Joseph Campbell," and other expressions gleaned from a STAR WARS "Making Of" bonus feature." Ye gods, it's ridiculous.
My college Rhetoric instructor remembered his brother sold a project to Universal, and he got the script job. And he remember the producers would actually call him and ask "Where does he save the cat?" and reference the book chapter and verse in their arguments. It pissed him off so much he quit and went into mumblecore.
John Kricfalusi had a really damn funny post about executive language. "We need a Scooby beat and a character arc in here." That sort of thing. (The character always goes from one pole to the other, with no interesting curves. Really damn boring, and painfully obvious.) "
http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/sear.....cutive%20tales
"Let's run it up the flagpole and see if it sticks"
"We need a Scooby Beat here"
"We need to lay in a pipeline..."
From Steve (also known as Spaz):
"This is bald, but..." (the whole idea isn't there yet, but here's a start...)
"what's the story arc" ( supposedly all characters need an "arc";
beginning/middle/end; and apparently so does the story)
"internal logic" ( the public won't get it)
"it's a buy" (idiots sign off on it)
"it has no payoff" (who knows; I still can't figure out if it's a gay term)
"yelling is never funny, spaz" (this is what a Disney exec told me)
"it needs a turn" (the story is linear and needs a twist; why? don't ask me)
"I'll knit it together" (put 2 paragraphs together)
"it dovetails nicely" (segues into another idea)
"if you pull that string, it all unravels" (gay term again, about dangling ideas')
"too much pipe" ( this one always got me; i think it means the opposite of "it needs a turn")
"it's just chuffa" ( a hebrew term for "fluff")
Or Anon describing his pitch to a new exec who came to the meeting ten minutes late, still on his cell phone -
"I never actually got to say anything for the ass-ec quickly launched into a full flurry of buzz words to describe the series he was looking for: "fresh," "hip," "hot," "out of the box," and the ever popular "cutting edge," which I happened to be fantasizing about applying to his jugular at that moment. As an added bonus, he became intensely involved in examining his right shoe, to the point he removed his Bass weejun and traced his finger over the stitching while continuing to blather on about "narrative arcs," "the heroes' journey," "Joseph Campbell," and other expressions gleaned from a STAR WARS "Making Of" bonus feature." Ye gods, it's ridiculous.
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