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Ryouji meets the challenge of Theta Archer Juushin, mad mistress of the Heavy Arrow!
Coming hot on the heels of this commission, it's something that doesn't start with PCA! :D I'm being serious when I say I've been working on four stories at once, and this one goes up first if only to remind myself that Pokemanz are not the be all and end all of my creative output.
A few comments about the episode itself. It's shorter than most OAR episodes have been, at only 4 and a half pages, but that's just the way it came out. Meaning you have no reason not to read it, frowny face. >:| Those paying attention might notice this, so I'll say it right now: the Theta Archer's kihou is ripped directly from a Bleach character. If you haven't noticed, I take a lot of inspiration from Bleach as well as Busou Renkin, Omega Archer Ryouji having begun as a reaction to both those anime. I'm just uncreative when it comes to powers. D:
This submission will actually push OAR5 off the bottom of my front page, but that's okay. As for OAR7, well, it will mostly be us getting to see Ryouji's story (for the third time, if you've followed my uploads from the beginning), as well as Steinar's . Then things will start getting interesting. But as always, I won't be continuing until I've gotten some feedback on this episode, so fire away, y'all! :D
(And this is incidental, but I continue to mess with the thumbnail's appearance. c.c Still goofing around with GIMPshop. Any thoughts?)
BEFORE CRITIQUING: please click "FIRST" and refer to the critiquer's note in the first chapter. Thank you.
Ryouji meets the challenge of Theta Archer Juushin, mad mistress of the Heavy Arrow!
Coming hot on the heels of this commission, it's something that doesn't start with PCA! :D I'm being serious when I say I've been working on four stories at once, and this one goes up first if only to remind myself that Pokemanz are not the be all and end all of my creative output.
A few comments about the episode itself. It's shorter than most OAR episodes have been, at only 4 and a half pages, but that's just the way it came out. Meaning you have no reason not to read it, frowny face. >:| Those paying attention might notice this, so I'll say it right now: the Theta Archer's kihou is ripped directly from a Bleach character. If you haven't noticed, I take a lot of inspiration from Bleach as well as Busou Renkin, Omega Archer Ryouji having begun as a reaction to both those anime. I'm just uncreative when it comes to powers. D:
This submission will actually push OAR5 off the bottom of my front page, but that's okay. As for OAR7, well, it will mostly be us getting to see Ryouji's story (for the third time, if you've followed my uploads from the beginning), as well as Steinar's . Then things will start getting interesting. But as always, I won't be continuing until I've gotten some feedback on this episode, so fire away, y'all! :D
(And this is incidental, but I continue to mess with the thumbnail's appearance. c.c Still goofing around with GIMPshop. Any thoughts?)
BEFORE CRITIQUING: please click "FIRST" and refer to the critiquer's note in the first chapter. Thank you.
Category Story / Anime
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 14.3 kB
Listed in Folders
Fun... even if you stole from Bleach. Is she supposed to be a Hollow, too? : )
Just noticed a few small things you might want to fix. 1)"around arms, legs, hands and a feet, her chest and waist." You should be able to see what's wrong there.
2)"With another screeching cackle, she released the cliff edge, clawing at Ryouji's hands." When I first read this, I pictured her trying to get back up. Maybe change it to something like 'she dug her fingernails into the backs of Ryouji's hands at the same time as she released the cliff edge'. 'Clawing' to me always means more a desperate attempt to get a hold of something (unless the creature doing it has claws).
Nothing beyond that that bothered me a great deal.
Heh... for the thumbnail, you should make it a lower-case omega and then turn it into a bow. :P
Just noticed a few small things you might want to fix. 1)"around arms, legs, hands and a feet, her chest and waist." You should be able to see what's wrong there.
2)"With another screeching cackle, she released the cliff edge, clawing at Ryouji's hands." When I first read this, I pictured her trying to get back up. Maybe change it to something like 'she dug her fingernails into the backs of Ryouji's hands at the same time as she released the cliff edge'. 'Clawing' to me always means more a desperate attempt to get a hold of something (unless the creature doing it has claws).
Nothing beyond that that bothered me a great deal.
Heh... for the thumbnail, you should make it a lower-case omega and then turn it into a bow. :P
You ask too much of my pathetic graphic skills! D:
You are nevertheless absolutely right about both those passages. I hadn't considered the connotations of clawing, but digging her nails in to make him let go is precisely what I was getting at.
And dammit, she's not a Hollow! XD I hadn't even thought of that one before you mentioned it; the mask was just sort of an off-the-cuff way to have her stand out description-wise (there's a reason for it, but I don't want to give anything away). Actually, given that it's not a full mask, she'd be more like those Menos Grand guys (haven't watched in a while, I'm about 50 episodes behind) with the partial masks. <.<
You are nevertheless absolutely right about both those passages. I hadn't considered the connotations of clawing, but digging her nails in to make him let go is precisely what I was getting at.
And dammit, she's not a Hollow! XD I hadn't even thought of that one before you mentioned it; the mask was just sort of an off-the-cuff way to have her stand out description-wise (there's a reason for it, but I don't want to give anything away). Actually, given that it's not a full mask, she'd be more like those Menos Grand guys (haven't watched in a while, I'm about 50 episodes behind) with the partial masks. <.<
Wow. She is (was) . . . unhinged. Of course, the crazy ones are great for plot development, give characters some trials and stresses *grin*
I like the pacing. It seems to have some of the best echos of the, er, "inspirational" programs without the "let's drag this battle out for a week's worth of episodes" that turn some into animated soap operas :P
favorite line is actually description: "The bard just shook her head, rubbing rain from her eyes." Simple, I know, but a gesture of resignation that is so "here we go again, he's going to blame himself no matter what you say, but thanks for trying."
I like the pacing. It seems to have some of the best echos of the, er, "inspirational" programs without the "let's drag this battle out for a week's worth of episodes" that turn some into animated soap operas :P
favorite line is actually description: "The bard just shook her head, rubbing rain from her eyes." Simple, I know, but a gesture of resignation that is so "here we go again, he's going to blame himself no matter what you say, but thanks for trying."
Yes, you understand! ;_; Thank you for the lovely comments!
While this is heavily inspired by things like Bleach, I'm really trying to keep battles to two episodes tops. Of course, this means I'll be introducing and then getting rid of characters in short order, but it does keep things moving.
While this is heavily inspired by things like Bleach, I'm really trying to keep battles to two episodes tops. Of course, this means I'll be introducing and then getting rid of characters in short order, but it does keep things moving.
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