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Double post this week because I'll be in San Jose next week. Don't get TOO excited. . . this means you won't get your post next week :P
On that note, I'll be in San Jose next week because I'm going to be at Further Confusion. So. . . yeah. See ya there, if you're going.
Anyway, this was one of my favorite pages. I really, honestly, couldn't wait to write the dialogue for it. It's actually one of the first scenes I wrote out the dialogue for. It's not exactly a reveal that will surprise many folks, obviously. . . but I wanted the depth of his naivete to be shown, finally. The truth is, in the modern age, we consider a lot of very complicated knowledge and circumstances to be 'obvious', because we're surrounded by them, and there's so much saturation through the media. But in a less developed age, people were a lot more isolated, and a lot of unfortunate folks would end up in situations completely beyond their realm of understanding. The circumstances portrayed in this comic are actually taken from real-life situations that happen, even today, on small island communities, and just about everywhere in the world, where people are victimized by what seems like a mundane situation to us, but for them, is completely inescapable.
The official Red Lantern site is now fully updated! Check it out at: http://www.rukiscroax.com/redlantern/
Red Lantern is now on Twitter, and Blogspot:
http://twitter.com/#!/RedLanternComic
http://redlanterncomic.blogspot.com/
And on our own website, finally!
http://www.rukiscroax.com/redlantern
This is a collaborative comic between Rukis and Alectorfencer. Red Lantern will be premiering weekly right here on FA, and at http://www.rukiscroax.com/redlantern . The free version of the comic will tell the entire story. The eventual printed release will have extra content, and adult content.
This comic is rated R for adult language, adult situations, violence, and themes of war, prostitution, and slavery.
Rukis is responsible for all writing, and character artwork/color
Alector is responsible for all background elements, scenery, and landscapes
Double post this week because I'll be in San Jose next week. Don't get TOO excited. . . this means you won't get your post next week :P
On that note, I'll be in San Jose next week because I'm going to be at Further Confusion. So. . . yeah. See ya there, if you're going.
Anyway, this was one of my favorite pages. I really, honestly, couldn't wait to write the dialogue for it. It's actually one of the first scenes I wrote out the dialogue for. It's not exactly a reveal that will surprise many folks, obviously. . . but I wanted the depth of his naivete to be shown, finally. The truth is, in the modern age, we consider a lot of very complicated knowledge and circumstances to be 'obvious', because we're surrounded by them, and there's so much saturation through the media. But in a less developed age, people were a lot more isolated, and a lot of unfortunate folks would end up in situations completely beyond their realm of understanding. The circumstances portrayed in this comic are actually taken from real-life situations that happen, even today, on small island communities, and just about everywhere in the world, where people are victimized by what seems like a mundane situation to us, but for them, is completely inescapable.
The official Red Lantern site is now fully updated! Check it out at: http://www.rukiscroax.com/redlantern/
Red Lantern is now on Twitter, and Blogspot:
http://twitter.com/#!/RedLanternComic
http://redlanterncomic.blogspot.com/
And on our own website, finally!
http://www.rukiscroax.com/redlantern
This is a collaborative comic between Rukis and Alectorfencer. Red Lantern will be premiering weekly right here on FA, and at http://www.rukiscroax.com/redlantern . The free version of the comic will tell the entire story. The eventual printed release will have extra content, and adult content.
This comic is rated R for adult language, adult situations, violence, and themes of war, prostitution, and slavery.
Rukis is responsible for all writing, and character artwork/color
Alector is responsible for all background elements, scenery, and landscapes
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 891 x 1188px
File Size 1.59 MB
Listed in Folders
This sort of reminds me of the story Sold, about the girl who is sold by her step father and shew thinks she's becoming a maid, but is sold to a brothel at a very young age and pretty much trained to be one of the whores there. Very sad, anyway, I agree with the description, I love this page a lot.
The sign of great storytelling is when it brings up an emotional response, and I get a big one from this comic!
Dhaval needs to run. Amon already knows what happens to those who try to flee and fail, but Dhaval doesn't. Amon has felt the whip (figuratively speaking), but Dhaval is still unscarred. Why bend your knee before you've even felt the first blow?
Run Dhaval, run until you can't run anymore. If they find you, fight. Never stop the struggle.
For myself, I would kick and gouge and rip my way to freedom. If not the freedom to start my own unbound life elsewhere, then at least the freedom to die on my own terms and not as someone's property.
Dhaval needs to run. Amon already knows what happens to those who try to flee and fail, but Dhaval doesn't. Amon has felt the whip (figuratively speaking), but Dhaval is still unscarred. Why bend your knee before you've even felt the first blow?
Run Dhaval, run until you can't run anymore. If they find you, fight. Never stop the struggle.
For myself, I would kick and gouge and rip my way to freedom. If not the freedom to start my own unbound life elsewhere, then at least the freedom to die on my own terms and not as someone's property.
ive ben in a similar situation (not like in the story) but where i literally had to kick and scream for freedom
i defiantly agree with you but the problem is their on an island and theres really nothing you can do from that point so unfortunately hel have to suck it up and just do what hes told and do it well so he can get his debt paid and get out of there as soon as he can...
...it sucks XP
i defiantly agree with you but the problem is their on an island and theres really nothing you can do from that point so unfortunately hel have to suck it up and just do what hes told and do it well so he can get his debt paid and get out of there as soon as he can...
...it sucks XP
There's always something that can be done. You could make yourself so much of a problem that they don't want to keep you. Smash every piece of glass in the place, gouge out your first customer's eyes, by tooth and claw and do all in your power to escape, or make yourself so troublesome that they don't dare keep you.
Of course there will be beatings, maybe worse and it's easy to say "keep fighting" when you're strong and unscarred and have all your fingers. But the option is to yield, become property and lose your dignity as a human being. Even if it meant my death.
Of course there will be beatings, maybe worse and it's easy to say "keep fighting" when you're strong and unscarred and have all your fingers. But the option is to yield, become property and lose your dignity as a human being. Even if it meant my death.
I don’t think that would work. The hyenas have been at this a long time and I’m sure they have time tested methods of convincing recalcitrant slaves to obey. If they couldn’t control Dhaval, they would probably kill him. What’s worse, if he did something so egregious as to warrant death (like attack his master) he might put the other brothel workers at risk. Defiance could lead to rebellion, and harsh measure might be taken to curtail unrest. A slave holding society is a paranoid society and what they fear most is revolt.
As old "Gaffer Swanthold" sayeth: "Any society built upon injustice is destined to fail".
I've no doubt the hyenas have methods, many of the worst of which probably don't involve death. Beatings and starvings can be taken quite a ways, but there are worse methods than these to a cruel and clever mind.
That's partially why death itself becomes something to strive for, if all other methods of escape are closed.
As for putting other slaves at risk, that can become a very sticky issue, but my initial stance is that they have chosen to protect themselves by siding with their masters. Therefore, they will have to accept the fallout from recalcitrant slaves the same as the masters do. It's just that because they are a slave with no rights, the reaction is stricter control and harsher punishments, while for the master it's loss of coin and prestige.
I can't blame a slave for not wanting to stick his neck out, but I personally would not let his desire to save his own hide as reason to sell my own.
I've no doubt the hyenas have methods, many of the worst of which probably don't involve death. Beatings and starvings can be taken quite a ways, but there are worse methods than these to a cruel and clever mind.
That's partially why death itself becomes something to strive for, if all other methods of escape are closed.
As for putting other slaves at risk, that can become a very sticky issue, but my initial stance is that they have chosen to protect themselves by siding with their masters. Therefore, they will have to accept the fallout from recalcitrant slaves the same as the masters do. It's just that because they are a slave with no rights, the reaction is stricter control and harsher punishments, while for the master it's loss of coin and prestige.
I can't blame a slave for not wanting to stick his neck out, but I personally would not let his desire to save his own hide as reason to sell my own.
Beautiful and sad scene. I had a feeling it was working up to a moment like this. And yes, you did capture very well that in different times, there was a lot more ignorance of what went on outside of ones local community. It really makes you feel for what Dhaval must be going through.
i am lovieng this so much now...if i was in the tigers place...and had the same feelings he did...i would probly go back..and once was told i had to have sex with anyone..i would go to the misstress..and tell her.."i wont do it..either kill me..or let me go home..but i wont do as you say..now cloose. and if you wont let me go..or kill me...i will eventualy kill myself."...of corse im one that dont like slavery..and something tells me hes wanting to die right about now
My earnest applause to you for the dialogue here. I actually shed a tear from Amon's line in the second-to-last panel. Poor Dhaval most be astonished: It's just not easy to blame someone when you know they're on the same boat as you--just they have gotten a lot better at disguising it :B
Also because I'd been looking forward to this for a long time now <3
Also because I'd been looking forward to this for a long time now <3
Hmmm, I feel like this scene should somehow have appeared much earlier on. This is the first interesting thing to happen in a while and essential to character development, especially Dhaval's. If you want to keep your readers' attention - especially with a webcomic - you have to prioritize your character introduction/development. If your audience doesn't care about your characters, why should they keep reading?
At this point, I know some things about Amon, even the hyena slaver (which was a brilliant little scene, by the way), but almost nothing about Dhaval. He just stands with his mouth open most of the time, not understanding anything. I want to know more about his past, about his village, his view on the world. You don't have to put in long pieces of text to show that: Simply use more expressions (I know you struggle a bit with this due to the realistic style, but keep pushing yourself. If you want a tip, practice in making the expressions as ridiculously extreme as possible, almost cartoony. As soon as you've mastered this, you can always tone it down).
Give us some close-ups with expressions that shows us what Dhaval thinks about this and that. You've done it a little, but mostly it's the same wide-eyed, open-mouthed expression of "uhh.. what?". He must have other feelings. I, for one, would like to see more frustration from his side. Like the scene where he was trying to talk with the foreigners ordering drinks. He was confused, but it could have added a lot more spice if his patience ran out, if he frowned, rolled his eyes, swore or simply closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, tired of it all and thus reminding us how much he wants to go home. Show more of his inner feelings this way - a simple panel or two with expressions says more than a thousand words of him describing what he feels. Show, don't tell. If you make him confused all the time, it simply makes him look stupid, not naive as I'm sure it's intended.
Also, I don't know how you will arrange these chapters in volumes, but I feel like you maybe should have pushed the whole dragon battle later on and given us this kind of character development earlier. The battle was an exciting and dynamic read, making me much more interested in the canine captain and his foes, rather than Dhaval and Amon, so everything after that kind of dulled things down. If you want to, you could experiment with showing this story from several POVs (like in A Song of Ice and Fire or The Bartimaeus Trilogy, for example), because you've definitely put together an interesting world that I would like to see more of without having to drag your main characters across the sea and such.
All in all, keep going at it.
At this point, I know some things about Amon, even the hyena slaver (which was a brilliant little scene, by the way), but almost nothing about Dhaval. He just stands with his mouth open most of the time, not understanding anything. I want to know more about his past, about his village, his view on the world. You don't have to put in long pieces of text to show that: Simply use more expressions (I know you struggle a bit with this due to the realistic style, but keep pushing yourself. If you want a tip, practice in making the expressions as ridiculously extreme as possible, almost cartoony. As soon as you've mastered this, you can always tone it down).
Give us some close-ups with expressions that shows us what Dhaval thinks about this and that. You've done it a little, but mostly it's the same wide-eyed, open-mouthed expression of "uhh.. what?". He must have other feelings. I, for one, would like to see more frustration from his side. Like the scene where he was trying to talk with the foreigners ordering drinks. He was confused, but it could have added a lot more spice if his patience ran out, if he frowned, rolled his eyes, swore or simply closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, tired of it all and thus reminding us how much he wants to go home. Show more of his inner feelings this way - a simple panel or two with expressions says more than a thousand words of him describing what he feels. Show, don't tell. If you make him confused all the time, it simply makes him look stupid, not naive as I'm sure it's intended.
Also, I don't know how you will arrange these chapters in volumes, but I feel like you maybe should have pushed the whole dragon battle later on and given us this kind of character development earlier. The battle was an exciting and dynamic read, making me much more interested in the canine captain and his foes, rather than Dhaval and Amon, so everything after that kind of dulled things down. If you want to, you could experiment with showing this story from several POVs (like in A Song of Ice and Fire or The Bartimaeus Trilogy, for example), because you've definitely put together an interesting world that I would like to see more of without having to drag your main characters across the sea and such.
All in all, keep going at it.
thank you for the in-depth analysis! It's good to know folks are putting so much thought into it :)
This story is pre-written. Every volume has been laid out since before I started the first page, and I'm a bit married to the continuity at this point. Hopefully, as you read, things will come around, and why it's laid out the way it is will become evident. I'm also hoping the art will continue to improve as I work on it, and better reflect the story I have in mind.
One thing I'd like to say, though, that seems to be widely misunderstood. . . is that Dhaval is not an overly complicated character. He is legitimately meant to be portrayed as simple-minded, and below average intelligence. It's one of the main aspects to his character, because his simple-mindedness is ultimately why he's so resilient, and is able to endure through some fairly grueling situations. He doesn't overthink, tends to bow to authority more often than not, and can be unconditionally kind. Amon is the onion. . . the character with so many layers, they're almost impossible to see through.
As for Luther and the Amurescan fleet, they will play far more of a role in volume 2, but they DO show up again in this volume, and they are VERY important, so it was essential that they have some introduction into this book. I'll admit it was a divergence from the main storyline, but the opening goings-on in the Divine were slow and tedious, but necessary, to set up a lot of things in the future, and I really wanted to break them up.
Thanks for reading!
This story is pre-written. Every volume has been laid out since before I started the first page, and I'm a bit married to the continuity at this point. Hopefully, as you read, things will come around, and why it's laid out the way it is will become evident. I'm also hoping the art will continue to improve as I work on it, and better reflect the story I have in mind.
One thing I'd like to say, though, that seems to be widely misunderstood. . . is that Dhaval is not an overly complicated character. He is legitimately meant to be portrayed as simple-minded, and below average intelligence. It's one of the main aspects to his character, because his simple-mindedness is ultimately why he's so resilient, and is able to endure through some fairly grueling situations. He doesn't overthink, tends to bow to authority more often than not, and can be unconditionally kind. Amon is the onion. . . the character with so many layers, they're almost impossible to see through.
As for Luther and the Amurescan fleet, they will play far more of a role in volume 2, but they DO show up again in this volume, and they are VERY important, so it was essential that they have some introduction into this book. I'll admit it was a divergence from the main storyline, but the opening goings-on in the Divine were slow and tedious, but necessary, to set up a lot of things in the future, and I really wanted to break them up.
Thanks for reading!
Happens right on our own shores, in fact... just under the noses of most people. :\
But DAMN I am loving this comic. The tension, the emotions... you've taken a VERY uncomfortable subject and managed to make all the characters feel real, and the last few pages are just proof that you're not trying to overly sugar-coat shit. I mean, obviously toned down for the sake of artistic license, but still, acknowledging that there's fear and pain involved.
The look on Dhaval's face when Amon tells him he DID try running... it's just perfect. I can honestly see it in motion in my head, him stopping mid-stride with that sudden feeling of defeat.
But DAMN I am loving this comic. The tension, the emotions... you've taken a VERY uncomfortable subject and managed to make all the characters feel real, and the last few pages are just proof that you're not trying to overly sugar-coat shit. I mean, obviously toned down for the sake of artistic license, but still, acknowledging that there's fear and pain involved.
The look on Dhaval's face when Amon tells him he DID try running... it's just perfect. I can honestly see it in motion in my head, him stopping mid-stride with that sudden feeling of defeat.
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