hEEEEEEEEEY SUCKERS, AND SUCKETTES,
iF THERE EVEN ARE ANY FEMALES AROUND,

fIRST i CAME HERE JUST TO TROLL JADE,
tHAT MUCH IS OBVIOUS, i MEAN,
wHY ELSE WOULD i BE HERE,
bUT A MASTER TROLL SUCH AS MYSELF WON'T LIMIT HIMSELF TO JUST ONE TARGET,
tHIS ENTIRE WEBSITE IS TEEMING WITH,
uMM, TROLLABLE INDIVIDUALS,
nOT TO MENTION A WHOLE LOT OF PSYCHE-SCARRING ANTHROPOMORPHIC ANTICS,
wITH FEW EXCEPTIONS i THINK i'VE HAD OVERWHELMING SUCCESS, HERE,

pRETTY SURE MY NAME'S SPREAD FAR AND WIDE, AND NOW,
tHE MERE MENTIONING OF MY HANDLE IS ENOUGH TO CAUSE UNCONTROLLABLE SOBBING AND SHIVERING AND OTHER EMBARRASSING INVOLUNTARY BEHAVIOR,
aSIDE FROM A FEW UPSTARTS, i'M PRETTY SURE HALF OF YOU ARE TOO SCARED TO EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO ME,
pROBABLY EVEN MORE THAN THAT, WHICH CONSTITUTES A MAJORITY OF YOU HAVE FALLEN UNDER THE CHILLING EFFECT OF A KNOWN TROLL,
uHH, wHICH IS A GOOD THING, BECAUSE OTHERWISE i MIGHT HAVE ACCESS TO THIS SITE REVOKED BY ONE OF YOUR OVERLORDS,
tHAT WOULD BE A PREMATURE DEPARTURE, SINCE THERE ARE STILL SO MANY OF YOU TO TROLL,
aND i HAVE SOMETHING i'M KIND OF LOOKING FORWARD TO ANYWAY, SOOOOO,,,

i'M GOING ALL IN, LAST RESERVE, TO A DEATH, SLOW QUARTERS,
yOUR WILL TO CONTINUE YOUR PATHETIC LIVES IS GOING TO BE LOWER THAN IT EVER HAS,
sOMETHING WHICH IS PROBABLY ALREADY LOW IN THE FIRST PLACE,
yOU HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF THE SORT OF SHIT YOU'RE IN FOR NOW,
oNCE i START,
i MEAN, CONTINUE TROLLING ALL OF YOU,
(fUCK,)
yOU'LL ALL REGRET i EVER SHOWED UP,
iNSTEAD OF JUST ME REGRETTING i EVER SHOWED UP,