This is probably for me, more than anyone else I suppose. I know there are a couple of you who have some of the same problems I do, so I am open to suggestions. I know the first suggestion is going to be " You should talk to a doctor about it." Which, I can't disagree with, but I live in the united states. My husband makes to much to get government healthcare but we don't make enough to pay for a therapist or doctor to ask about it. When it comes to the medication, I cant use the stimulants because I already take things for high blood-pressure and I don't need anything else giving me high BP... I have been doing a lot of research on Adult ADHD lately, and there is a lot about it i was not actually aware of. For instance, People with ADHD are more prone to bad sleep schedules, often staying up later and later and being tired the next day, which contributes to the lack of sleep which can lead to deeper pits of depression. That's something I struggle with, especially without a job. My sleeping patterns have been and are all over the place. One week ill be sleeping during the day, other weeks Ill sleep at night like a normal person. I used to joke that I did not have a circadian rhythm, and I honestly thought I might have over ridden that biological process, as I was so used to being on the night shift. None of the jobs I have had have helped me with that issue either. As a trucker, you drive when you have the hours, no matter the time of day or night. I did that for tow years and for the next five years after that i worked the night shift as a local run guy. Being a security guard is not much better, often called to work long stents of night shift before swapping back over to day shift. I quit doing security work when we moved out here to Oklahoma and I haven't had a job sense. (I am a overweight asthmatic, I am an 'at risk' individual with type 2 diabetes.) So my sleep is all over the place. Ill get into doing a drawing or something, and get so involved with it that i loose hours of time and by the time i think to look up at the clock, eight hours have passed and Brendan is getting out of bed. I have a hard time tearing myself away from things, to go do other things I need to get done, and i seam unable to focus on the things i need to get done if my mind is wondering else where. That's not something I have ever been able to control, and it sounds like a silly thing but it is one of my biggest issues. The thing i hate the most is the look on peoples faces when they can see my mind wandering while they are talking to me. my eyes glaze over and my mind is off else where because it ether needs, more or less input. It makes it seam like I don't want to listen to what they have to say, or I am not interested. )(If this ever happens when we are talking, Please keep in mind that its not something I have control over, Even though it may seam like I should.)( So, As a result of all that, School has always been incredibly hard for me. Even when I was on the ADD medication as a kid, I did not do well and now i am terrified of it because the meds they had me on would really mess with my emotions. It would make me break down and cry for no reason as a kid. I would be coming down off the medication and any little thing would set me off, make me easily frustrated. I would lash out and break things and yell and scream at people. I don't really do that as an adult, and I would be mortified if I started taking one of these medications and said something to someone that I did not mean.
On that note, when I get the chance and can afford to I am going to talk to my doctor. I am 36 years old, and I think I would finally like to be set free of this fog over my mind. I want to think clearly, and be able to more able to regulate myself..
Another day, Another step on the road to making myself better.