Warning: Personal medical talk. won't be gross but its TMI. Read at your own peril.
To the ones around me that may read this. None of this is any of your faults. This is all on me.

I have recently been diagnosed with Low "T", and i think it might be affecting me more than I realise. The world (My world, of perception.) lately sort of has this Grey haze over it. Nothing I do seems to bring me any sort of joy. I used to use drawing as a way to untangle my mind, but now its like I can't be bothered. I am trying to fill that void with something because I know my mind needs some sort of outlet, Even if it's not the normal outlet I use. I've been playing more video games lately. But that even seems to have a blanket of gray falling over it. As for the specific shade of gray, perhaps a cobblestone, or mayhap Pewter.
I am sort of ashamed to admit I've been having a hard time keeping my temper in its normal place.
Nothing to serious, but its off its mark and it bothers me. I have an appointment to see the urologist....In January of 2024.
So, I guess I'll just be Mister Grey untill then...
I am frustrated that I am finding it so difficult to be happy. I am a believer in the idea, that happiness comes from within one's own self, but it's like someone blew out my pilot light. I am making wonderful friends and I am sure to surround myself with the best people. I am finally employed, just like I wanted. I am making money and doing my part in the household. Playing a bunch of new games, posting videos on youtube, Losing weight, putting back my farm boy muscle. I should be ecstatic! but all I can manage is a "Meh".
Like WTF brain?!